WHAT DOES SOBRIETY REALY MEAN? WHAT IS SUCCESS?
When people hear the word sobriety, they automatically think of freedom from alcohol. When I was finally ready to accept my life was being negatively impacted by the over and improper use of alcohol, sobriety meant exactly that-freedom from ... Views:8862
Change is a word we hear oh so often. Whether we like it or not, things are going to change; we can influence how they change, and whether the change has positive direction for our life. There is much that directly affects our own well being that is within our control.
When the journey to a new ... Views:8842
Things do not change; we change.
--Henry David Thoreau
For a man who is in the coaching business, and is on the life journey I’m on, I find the title statement PROFOUND. Think on it and see if you can see the depth of the thought.
I spent a good portion of my life thinking I could change ... Views:7442
ROCKETED INTO a 4TH DIMENSION of EXISTENCE
Over the past weekend, I had the privilege of attending a “spiritual retreat” at a wonderful place of peace called Manresa .
What is a spiritual retreat? Sounds out there!
For me it is like taking a time out from life and listening to a leader lead ... Views:7410
A real true friend sent this to me. She is going through a lot with a husband who is unfortunately being taken slowly by cancer. Patti is hanging in, hanging on, and despite all that is happening to her and around her, she is so often there for others.
This small piece of prose is part of her ... Views:5567
AT THE END OF YOUR ARM
The best place to find a helping hand is at the end of your own arm. --Swedish proverb
Every now and again a quote comes to you that is just so obvious but true!
There are so many looking for help, looking to others to “fix” them and take responsibility for ... Views:4262
LEADER or FOLLOWER?
The best leaders are those who know how to follow.
--Anonymous
Coaching is about asking powerful questions. Leader or follower falls into that category, and it is one I contemplate often because of the wide spread implications. Give it some thought.
Am I a leader or a ... Views:3307
How to Let Bygones Be Bygones
In working with others, I coach clients and sponsees to find tools and answers to issues that prevent them from having the abundant life they want. Things that prevent us from living the life we want and can live are common.
Living in the past and collecting new ... Views:3293
At this juncture of creating new footprints in the journey of life, I was well aware, more so than I’d ever been, of my defects of character. Awareness is wonderful, but I wanted change that would give me a much better life. I wanted my defects gone!
By this time, many things had changed ... Views:2853
LYING TO FEEL ACCEPTED
I blog frequently for several reasons.
I have “journalled” or blogged for years as a part of my life recovery. Simply, it lets me get things that are on the inside to the outside. I was taught that this was healthy behaviour and guess what? It helps. Honest sharing is ... Views:2743
What a fabulous day yesterday with my grand kids. With no other adults around, and with the range of things that we did, I loved seeing the day through the eyes of children; and being “silly” at times also. I’m so grateful that the journey I’m on allowed me to have a day ... Views:2659
WHO’S BEHIND YOUR SUCCESS?
Behind an able man there are always other able men.
--Chinese proverb
The similarities between this and the saying “Behind every good man is a good woman” are striking. How many say “I am self-made”? No one succeeds alone.
Most of us have had a strong desire in ... Views:2348
TRUST ISSUES?
It’s amazing how many people I run across that have major trust issues.
The causes vary. In the information below, you will find some thoughts on dealing with trust issues, and issues of trust that come up in relationships.
If you conclude that self-esteem or “the past” ... Views:2315
2012-Mission to Improve Self-esteem
To be of service to others, I do a lot of reading and research. Original thinking is fine but what I know and coach originated from others.
The biggest issues I help others to come to grips with are related to self-esteem. Today I share writing from ... Views:2216
Each year I like to run through the 12 steps as written in the book Alcoholics Anonymous. These steps were an adaptation of many works before them, and are a universal truth for all people who want to enjoy good mental Hygiene and an abundant life. They have been adopted by some 150 self-help ... Views:2181
Goals and Self-Esteem
In my own funny way, I have always had goals. For a long period of time, my self-esteem was low. Safe to say, I was not a fan of me from the inside out.
The process of "life recovery", as I have experienced, is a process that is from the inside out. To quote an old ... Views:2029
Scared To Take Chances?
Being afraid to try and fail was part of the turmoil I faced before making a decision to regain my life and recover from the demons.
I get some great readings, and this one from Hazelden resonated!
If you're never scared or embarrassed or hurt, it means you never take ... Views:1996
EGO RUNNING WILD!
Thought to Ponder . . .The ego seeks the destination; the soul seeks the journey
What a deadly conflict I had going on for so many years, my ego searching for the destination and my forgotten soul seeking a journey! It made it hard to live in this skin of mine; seeking and ... Views:1915
DISCOVERING YOUR LIFE’S PURPOSE
Questions To Ask
Often I’m asked what it is a coach does.
The simple answer is to help others discover what is important for them to accomplish, set goals and then guide them to getting it done.
Often people either directly or indirectly tell me they have hit ... Views:1902
CHOICE-CLEANED (sobered) UP, LOCKED UP, COVERED UP
or Broken Up
I don't know when I first heard this, but since I have chosen a process of life recovery and the coaching profession, the truth of this "choice" has become very real. I hope that those of you who have taken the time to read this ... Views:1875
This is a phrase used in the bible of the original 12 step organization (known as the Big Book).
As I have traveled the road of life, I often found myself looking for an easier, softer way to get what I wanted.
In school, I dogged assignments and read other peoples notes. I have tried get rich ... Views:1855
This is a time of the year when for a lot of us, emotions and feelings run high. Family, or lack of family; friends or lack of friends; loneliness, big ups and big downs, and of course the lingering resentments, something many feel at this time of the year.
One of the big challenges I faced in ... Views:1844
MASSIVE INSECURITY
I just read an article by a writer named Lisa Kogan on this topic. It was a great reminder that massive insecurity is an affliction suffered by a huge cross section of the entire population. We with addictions think it is unique to us. I have believed for years that while ... Views:1830
NO GAIN WITHOUT PAIN
Man, those words flowed from the lips of my old football coach Mr. Fleming many years ago. I still remember them well. Back then, you knew exactly when the pain would end (right after practice) and after playing a while, you got smart and learned you in deed could make ... Views:1786
Yesterday, I had a mentoring session with a fellow coach, and attended my online class. Funny how you hear things when you should (if you listen) and how one thought can lead into another.
Yesterday I gave thought to benchmarking progress along the journey and how hard it can be to recognize ... Views:1719
Resentments can kill
As we look at making amends, I was reminded again today about resentments.
If I’m ever going to return to my old ways of dealing with the less pleasant side of life, it will likely be due to a resentment that I allow to remain unresolved. If my head is an apartment ... Views:1697
You Are Special and Unique
As I do my coaching thing, there is one thing that is a mainstay. Each of us is special and unique. Each of us has talents, and each of us is capable of setting goals and achieving them.
I am a recovered person from addictions who is constantly recovering. This ... Views:1663
Selfishness
Every now and again I reflect back on my life to a time before I started what I know call a “co-creative process of life recovery”.
There were many negative qualities that were at work most of the time. One that I really regret is selfishness.
I wanted the world to see me as a ... Views:1659
People really have trouble at times getting their head around coaching. As pure coaching as a discipline is new to a lot of people, let’s see if this analogy from my school-Rhema International- rings some bells.
There have always been coaches; we just don’t know how many we are ... Views:1603
CAN YOU TURN IT OVER?
A small change had started in my life. A journey of transformation had started and I was starting to recover a life I wanted. I had some hope sanity could return to my life.
As I worked through the journey as laid out in the 12 steps, I hit something that called for a ... Views:1562
A Spiritual (not religious) Lifestyle
Thought to Ponder . . .True religion is the life we lead, not the creed we profess.
As I made a decision to do something about my life as it was back in 1994, early on I had the GOD thing thrown at me.
Like most, I had attended Sunday school as a kid and at ... Views:1541
A DUCK? WHO ME?
One of the joys of living in the times we do is the internet. It gives us a huge access to information and people. Through the site www.myrecoveryspace.com, I have had the good fortune of befriending Dennis S. in the California desert.
Dennis writes a lot of things I can relate ... Views:1539
How many of us have been negatively effected by bad family relationships- past or current?
There is no required school for parenting, and we don't choose our families. In my own case, family relationships had a huge impact on the negative feelings I had toward myself; and these started way ... Views:1516
What a great reminder I had today. This is something, without thinking about, I know I periodically do! How about you?
They say you can’t judge a book by its cover, yet publishers spend a fortune to create great covers. As a person, for years, I did all I could to create a great exterior, ... Views:1495
ADMITTING-VERY HARD
Admitted to God (Good Orderly Direction source), to ourselves and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.-12 steps/5th step
Admitting can be such a big word and a very hard thing to do.
When looking thoroughly at myself and my past, I unearthed many things I ... Views:1467
Attitude. A great word and it reflects in every aspect of our lives!
"And we have ceased fighting anything or anyone -- even alcohol (or other addictions or destructive behaviour).
For by this time sanity will have returned.
We will seldom be interested in liquor (Or old behaviours).If ... Views:1466
NEED A RECOVERY PROGRAM?
I am blessed to be acquainted with a great group of people who are involved in addiction recovery and helping others.
Patrick Meninga who operates the web site www.spiritualriver.com is one of those people. Over the years, Patrick and I have collaborated on several ... Views:1464
A Dilemma-“WANT” vs. “NEED”
Things are said and life issues sometimes converge, and really cause the mind to ponder.
I have just gone through a situation like that, and it relates to work life/career equally to life recovery, life transformation and getting addiction help.
There is a huge ... Views:1458
CHASING HAPPINESS?
“One is happy as a result of one's own efforts, once one knows the necessary ingredients of happiness — simple tastes, a certain degree of courage, self denial to a point, love of work, and, above all, a clear conscience. Happiness is no vague dream, of that I now feel ... Views:1444
Always interesting to see what thoughts run through my head as I try to shut down my conscious thinking and spend quiet time in the morning.
About fifteen years ago I sat in a treatment centre, Homewood, in Guelph, Ontario. I had been alcohol and drug free for about 3 months, and this did allow ... Views:1434
TAKING PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY
S...t happens; there is no doubt that this is true in my life and yours. We have no control over most things external to ourselves!
What happens to us is not as important as how we respond.
From my friends at Hazelton, a great way to look at things. Read and ... Views:1432
ATTITUDE ADJUSTMENT
After a number of recent conversations and happenings, coupled with self reflection, I think the biggest change in my life over the past number of years has been an attitude adjustment.
Years ago, it was far too easy to fall into the negative.
One of my symptoms was ... Views:1414
I am a believer that things happen for a reason, and people come in to your life when they should. I have talked in past blogs about my friend Patrick and the great Spiritual River daily blog he does. I look forward to a full collaborative “thing” with him. Who knows where it may ... Views:1410
Between The Ears
“Life is a game played on a 5 inch course, the distance between your ears”
As well move into a new year, the above statement is worth remembering, only because it is true. It is adapted from a quote Bobby Jones made about golf.
I am often struck by the similarities between ... Views:1401
A NEW YOU IN 2012?
READY FOR CHANGE?
Here we are, 9 days in to a new year and most things back to normal. By now, a majority of people who have made resolutions have broken them
As you looked at a new year, what changes have you committed to make in how you live? More importantly, how are ... Views:1387
AM I INSANE?
I had not thought this question out very well back in the 90’s. While I did crazy things, the life I was living would have indicated that at times I was nuts, but no one would have considered me insane. I had a responsible job, a family, a home, two or more cars, no debt, ... Views:1387
MAKING A TOUGH DECISION
No apologies to anyone. I believe that the "12 Steps" are a great model for good mental hygiene for EVERY HUMAN BEING.
Have people had success dealing with a myriad of addictions using the steps?
You bet they have. 12 step programmes have played a role in millions of ... Views:1387
DO YOU KNOW YOU?
Once we understand ourselves, the rest of living falls in line.
What a great line, and makes me ask the question- Do you know you?
At first, the initial answer is likely “yes, of course I do”. Funny, way back when, I would have and did react the same way.
The biggest ... Views:1367
HUMILITY: TOUGH CONCEPT
Every time I get a good reading focused around humility, it causes me to reflect back.
I can remember back to the time when I was sure humility had something to do with humiliation, and gosh knows that my life style had caused enough of that. I was not openly boastful ... Views:1366
Often in my life I have been guilty of taking the inventory of others! In my journey of recovery, I was asked to take an inventory of myself. That was different.
I had found myself at 46 with no idea of who I was or how I became the sad person that I was. As I got into a program of recovery for ... Views:1362