SELFISHNESS

Selfishness
Every now and again I reflect back on my life to a time before I started what I know call a “co-creative process of life recovery”.
There were many negative qualities that were at work most of the time. One that I really regret is selfishness.
I wanted the world to see me as a caring unselfish person. Many of my actions were just that-they looked caring and unselfish. The truth was, all too often, I did things with a motive-what was in it for me? I know this in retrospect.
I certainly spent years in the grasp of substance abuse and mood altering behaviours. As the quote below states, I got into a way of living that can aptly be described as self-will run riot. Those closest to me suffered, although it was not what I intended. When not comfortable in your own skin and finding ways to escape (totally selfish), the impact on others become secondary.
Take a look at your life? Is there truly an element of selfishness at play? Do you use “substances or behaviours” to escape your real life? Do you want this to end?
From experience, left untreated, it only gets worse, never better.
I went through a “holistic” process to regain my life. A part of this was attending and practicing 12 step meetings and the principles of the 12 steps . These principles, as a noted Forensic Psychologist and role model once stated to me, “form as good a platform for good mental hygiene as can be found”.
The best book ever written for 12 step principles is the book “Alcoholics Anonymous” written in the late 30’s. AA was the first of the over 100 12 step groups now in existence and provided the principles followed by all. I read and quote this text often as a part of what I work on others with.
If you haven’t read it, it is worth it to all.
“Selfishness -- self-centeredness! That, we think, is the root of our troubles.
Driven by a hundred forms of fear, self-delusion, self-seeking, and self-pity, we step on the toes of our fellows and they retaliate. . .
So our troubles, we think, are basically of our own making. They arise out of ourselves, and the alcoholic is an extreme example of self-will run riot, though he usually doesn't think so.
Above everything, we alcoholics must be rid of this selfishness. We must, or it kills us! ”
- Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 62
Wanting to be less selfish is a noble goal. Achieving that goal takes work, courage and mentoring. As we approach the holiday season, do you want to give it a try? I can tell you, I am thrilled I am on the journey and appreciate the progress made. ( www.hopeserenity.ca )