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Are you tired of feeling stressed and angry during the holidays? Do you want this special time of the year to be filled with peace and joy? Do you wish for a fight-free holiday season with your loved ones? Make your Christmas wish come true by following these simple guidelines that will turn ... Views:1309
Dealing with difficult people could become quite a challenge. Sometimes, they can take the form of a boss, co-worker, or even a friend or relative. Whatever the case may be, you need to stop losing your temper and start reading some tips for dealing with difficult people.
Letting difficult ... Views:1309
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Can Good Marriages Have Unresolved Conflicts?- byMarcia Naomi Berger, LCSW, author ofMarriage Meetings for Lasting Love: 30 Minutes a Week to the Relationship You've Always Wanted (New World Library), is a psychotherapist in San Rafael, California. She helps people create relationships that are fulfilling in all the important ways-emotionally and spiritually as well as physically and materially, whether they are already married or want to be. www.marriagemeetings.com
Even in the best marriages, not all conflicts get resolved. According to psychologist John Gottman’s research, 69 percent of problems in marriage do not get solved.[1]
His good news is that in good marriages many perpetual issues that are not deal breakers can be managed. It's not the ... Views:1308
Is world peace really possible? Maybe, but peace begins within, then extends into the home before it can reach global proportions. Sadly, the holidays, proclaimed the most wonderful time of the year, are more realistically the most stressful, bringing out the worst in people rather than the true ... Views:1306
Adjusting Boundaries as a Cure for Stress
Some people say there is good stress and bad stress. Would you say that getting married is good stress and getting divorced is bad stress?
It appears that the body does not distinguish between good and bad stress. There are “50 Common Signs and ... Views:1306
Several years ago, I had a client whose nine-year old son had anger issues. His doctor diagnosed him with ADD and suggested medication to quell his angry outbursts. "What do you think?" the mother inquired of me. Not an advocate of prescription medications (with the exception of the most extreme ... Views:1305
It sure is easy when everyone agrees with you and tells you what you want to hear. But sometimes what we want to hear is not what we NEED to hear. This is when you need a dose of conflict or opposition or a contrarian.
Unless you and all of your ideas are absolutely perfect 100% of the time, ... Views:1304
Do you feel like housemates rather than lovers? Are you disconnected and feeling unloved?
Deepest intimacy - When your relationship started and you were so 'in love', do you remember what it was like? Can you remember that you used to talk about everything? You spent every moment with each ... Views:1304
Conflict is a normal, healthy, and useful part of life. At its simplest, it means there is a disagreement or difference of opinion between two or more individuals. In life we can identify two types of conflict: internal and external. Internal conflict, the root issue causing discomfort and the ... Views:1301
Sometimes you find yourself working with someone and no matter how kind and compassionate you try to be, you still think they are a jerk. Maybe they yell all the time or they are condescending or a back stabber. It might be tempting to yell at them more loudly than they yelled at you or to ... Views:1301
“I am too busy doing the work to worry about all that people stuff”, said one of my students. “I am busy managing the project and updating the schedule and budget and making sure people don’t miss their deadlines, you know – doing the real work”, he continued.
I wish I could tell you this was ... Views:1294
Being a part of any relationship for a period of time affords an individual the opportunity to learn what works and what doesn't with each respective person. I may be able to discuss politics with Uncle Joe but Aunt Sue? Never! He's open minded to other people's views and enjoys a lively debate. ... Views:1293
I've been blessed in my life. I've had eighteen dogs, all of whom were sweet and loving. I've never had an aggressive dog with the exception of one - Huggy Bear. Huggy was a black Great Dane that came to us when he was just a pup. Big floppy ears, giant paws, and a single white spot on his chest ... Views:1291
“I have heard there are troubles of more than one kind. Some come from ahead and some come from behind. But I've bought a big bat. I'm all ready you see. Now my troubles are going to have troubles with me!” - Dr. Seuss
In these hectic, often stressful days, many people measure themselves on ... Views:1290
“To observe people in conflict is a necessary part of a child's education. It helps him to understand and accept his own occasional hostilities and to realize that differing opinions need not imply an absence of love.” … Milton R Sapirstein
When children can see others disagree and disagree ... Views:1288
Have you been upset about an issue that seems to make no sense and asked yourself, "Why did I get so angry over something that was relatively minor?" Oftentimes, our response is triggered not by the present issue but from an alternative source. Odd as it may seem, the past and future can hold ... Views:1288
In the years that I facilitated my support group for estranged families, I primarily worked with older parents whose adult children had severed their relationship with them. The parents were perplexed: "I was a good parent", they declared. "I gave my children the best of everything. There is no ... Views:1288
A process requiring resilience comes in two phases. First there is the crisis, a time when the loss or distress is often too unbearable for you to see opportunities that may be available. Once the distress fades away, you may start to see potential in a new situation and to gain a new ... Views:1288
You've heard me say in previous shows that anger is a normal, healthy, and in many cases a useful emotion. While some may believe that the feeling itself is wrong or bad, it's not. It is the way we choose to express it and use it determines if it becomes a positive force in our lives to bring ... Views:1287
If you are getting stuck in arguments relationship counselling is a good idea because you soon find out that there is more to understanding what is going on that you may initially think. It's wise to take time to evaluate and reflect before making big decisions; It might come as a surprise to ... Views:1285
Off to Mom’s … to see how enlightened we really are
In keeping with this month’s travel theme and Mother’s Day, why not plan a visit to Mom’s? If you have a whole litany of excuses, maybe I can help.
Let’s start by acknowledging that our deepest wounds are often created when we’re still ... Views:1284
Families: they can be our greatest source of joy or a never ending cause of stress. Some might like to have a few parts replaced, others may prefer to trade theirs in for a more suitable model. Some are grateful to have a family regardless while others would prefer to travel through life solo. ... Views:1279
People don't typically want to interact with those they consider to be bullies or tyrants. Yet contrary to popular belief, bullies are not bad people. It's their behaviors that are appalling. They act out their pain, loneliness, insecurities, and so on in the most offensive and unkind ways. But ... Views:1277
Since the beginning of time, wars have been fought in an effort to bring about peace. Have we accomplished that yet? Maybe violence isn't the answer.
I am a peace lover. Not only do I promote peaceful coexistence but I also live peacefully with others. I do not argue or fight; I do not ... Views:1275
A Disturbing Reality
By
Bill Cottringer
“Logic will never change emotion or perception.” ~ Edward de Bono.
After studying things like success, happiness, failure, frustration and anger for several decades now, I have come to the conclusion there may be a very disturbing reality too ... Views:1274
At one time or another, we've all complained that life isn't fair. Children do it all the time: Karen, who is older by two years, is allowed to stay up later than her younger siblings. They complain to dad that they're being treated unjustly, not realizing that at the same age her bedtime was ... Views:1274
We are living in a very volatile and dangerous age. Not only have issues of domestic violence, child and animal abuse, anger in the workplace and so on been more apparent, but we are definitely witnessing a rise of violence within our communities. Gangs and individual assaults seem to be taking ... Views:1273
I love creating simple strategies individuals can use to experience less anger or stress in their lives, to improve their communications skills, resolve conflicts easier or create inner peace. From the SWaT Strategy* to TECO Magic*, The Great Duck and Dishtowel Debate* or the Seven C's of ... Views:1267
Last year there was an unfortunate incident at a military base in the United States. I am talking about Fort Hood. An individual started shooting people. Within hearing range of the shooting a graduation ceremony was taking place. Attending the graduation were medics and other trained personnel. ... Views:1265
My husband is brutal: he teases and torments me unmercifully. But I'm just as bad. From the moment we wake up until we crawl exhausted into bed at the end of the day, we are constantly harassing one another. In fact, the first words out of his mouth as he opens his eyes at 5 am are "Are you ... Views:1265
Many years ago, I attended a seminar given by Caroline Myss in Los Angeles, CA. During the course of the seminar, one young man raised his hand and asked a question. It seems he was confused, not yet knowing what to do with his life and facing a variety of job offers and opportunities. But he ... Views:1264
Today there are so many adverse situations and circumstances we are exposed to. Whether we are self employed or unemployed, single or married with children, young or old, we all can learn how to better cope in our lives when we learn how to be more resilient having the ability to cope, bounce ... Views:1264
Conflict is present in all intimate relationships. Whether conflict is resolved constructively or acted out destructively is what determines its impact on the relationship. The following suggestions are designed to help couples resolve conflict by teaching them how to fight fairly.
• ... Views:1257
I'm not much of a fighter. When I was a child, my dad taught me that if someone hits you, hit them back but never be the one to throw the first punch. In essence, only fight back when you have to defend yourself. My mom's message was taken from Luke 6:29 and contradicted Dad's: "If someone slaps ... Views:1255
“Faced with the choice between changing one's mind and proving that there is no need to do so, almost everyone gets busy on the proof.”
- John Kenneth Galbraith
Have you ever watched someone put enormous time and energy into proving why they were right? I am talking about the kind of person ... Views:1254
The act of compassion begins with full attention, just as rapport does. You have to really see the person. If you see the person, then naturally, empathy arises. If you tune into the other person, you feel with them. If empathy arises and if that person is in dire need, then empathic concern can ... Views:1254
Your anger can actually benefit me. That sounds a bit ludicrous, wouldn't you agree? Anger hurts the one experiencing it but how can it possibly work to my advantage? If you become angry with me, I might feel upset, disrespected, scared, or angry in return. On a deeper level those emotions can ... Views:1252
No, I'm not speaking about that "F" word. I'm going to address two different words beginning with the letter "f" and how they influence the decisions we make, our responses in any given situation, and how the outcome adds to or subtracts from our happiness and/or contributes to our anger. Those ... Views:1252
Is this you? You start working for somebody new and you want to make a good impression. Maybe you start carrying your BlackBerry with you everywhere and you answer them all night and all weekend. Every time they send you something, you answer them whether or not you are on call.
As time goes ... Views:1246
Maybe you've mastered conflict resolution and you like to help others. Maybe you are the one that others come to for help when they have a conflict or you work in an environment where conflict occurs regularly. But somehow you find yourself stepping in and helping to resolve the conflicts around ... Views:1246
Your mental attitude has everything to do with how you get along with with others. If you have a positive attitude, you tend to create positive relationships, while a negative mental attitude breeds more of that same negativity.
But how to improve your attitude if you need to? Where were you ... Views:1242
In one of the first classes I taught, I had a student who was always scowling at me. It would have been really hard to miss that scowl. He sat in the front row and it was a small class in a small room.
He was friendly enough when he entered the class room and when he left for the evening. ... Views:1241
Today my husband and I had our fifth fight. Not bad for a twenty year marriage but regardless, for an anger management professional such as myself, I didn't handle it very well. Actually, fight is not an accurate description as it was more like a huff, that is we got annoyed at each other. Let ... Views:1239
A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person. ---Mignon McLaughlin
Can you imagine your partner and yourself holding a weekly formal meeting? The idea might intrigue ... Views:1239
Most couples separating or divorcing find that they are in a period of high conflict. Some have experienced constant arguments and fights for months or years; some are reacting to a sudden change of heart.
Regardless of the circumstances and presentation conflict between the between the ... Views:1235
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Can Prayer Really Help Relationships?- byMarcia Naomi Berger, LCSW, author ofMarriage Meetings for Lasting Love: 30 Minutes a Week to the Relationship You've Always Wanted (New World Library), is a psychotherapist in San Rafael, California. She helps people create relationships that are fulfilling in all the important ways-emotionally and spiritually as well as physically and materially, whether they are already married or want to be. www.marriagemeetings.com
Personally, I grew up with no encouragement to pray. I used to have a vague sense that prayer was for simple, naïve folks, that it was the “opiate for the masses.” So I do understand if you don’t relate to the concept.
But perhaps you do.
Most Americans Pray Daily.
According to a Pew ... Views:1233
Why is it so difficult for us to get along with one another? After all, we all have the same basic needs in life. We all want to be valued, to be acknowledged for the good that we do, to be treated fairly and given sufficient opportunities in life; we all want to be accepted as we are and to be ... Views:1233
As human beings, we possess a rather unique capability. We are not just passive creatures living within limited confines, surviving at the very whim of the environment. Rather, we are able to examine the activities which change our world, and through an acquired understanding, influence how ... Views:1232
Anger is one of the most powerful yet misunderstood emotions we experience. On the one hand, it has become a form of entertainment on TV, video games, social media, and Youtube. Housewives from states across the nation screaming at one another and flipping tables are cheered on each week by ... Views:1230