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DO OR DIE
“Conflicts give rise to villains, heroes, victims and bystanders. Which are you willing to be, in doing or dying for? ~The Author.
We are all chasing after things we think we want because of how they make us feel—happiness, success, peace of mind, ... Views:49
Although we often classify a person's actions as problematic, in truth a person's conduct is never the real problem. Behavior is nothing more than an outward expression of an internal issue. For example, if an individual is in a bad mood and arguing with those around them, the fighting simply ... Views:71
People take life far too seriously. There are important issues in our world such as child abuse, war, poverty, starvation, disease, etc. These are all matters critical for the well-being of humanity. Each one needs to be addressed and resolved quickly in order to protect mankind and eliminate ... Views:135
Stacey Cox Giovanni
Life Time Success 4 U
Here I am again. Just sharing with all of you the times we have of our ups and down happen to all of us. The question is how do we deal with it. I have been going through some things for some time now. And I will share with you the victim mentality ... Views:164
It's hard to avoid getting angry. Even those who are relatively easy going find themselves irate from time to time. At the most inopportune moments, anger can rear its ugly head and create all sorts of havoc in our lives. Consider these examples:
You've been under extraordinary amounts of ... Views:130
I've been teaching people about anger for nearly twenty five years. What I do is commonly referred to as anger management training. However, this implies that people must first become irate and then seek methods of how to manage it effectively, express it appropriately, and ultimately put it to ... Views:121
In college, one of my philosophy professors would frequently have the class debate a hot topic. He'd randomly divide the class in half and have each side present their best argument in support of their assigned position. Regardless of how you felt personally, you were expected to gather as many ... Views:192
There are so many times in our lives when we realize after the fact that it would have been in our best interest to have kept our thoughts to ourselves. Words are powerful and can make matters better or cause damage to others or get us into a whole lot of trouble. There is much wisdom in the old ... Views:173
It doesn't take much to anger some people. Even the most innocent comments can cause some tempers to flare. Innocuous situations can be misinterpreted leading to screaming matches, cursing, or physical altercations. In an instant, violence can erupt where calm once existed and destruction of ... Views:158
Life doesn't always turn out the way we'd like. When situations take an unfavorable turn, we become upset, frustrated, or angry. When others don't agree with us, live their life the way we think they should, or act in a manner we find disturbing, anger is a typical response. With the exception a ... Views:271
We all get angry from time-to-time. Sometimes our anger is righteous, that is to say it is justifiable and other times without valid cause. For instance, imagine your child is late returning from an evening basketball game. He does not call to let you know that the game went into overtime. ... Views:195
Can Good Marriages Have Unresolved Conflicts?- byMarcia Naomi Berger, LCSW, author ofMarriage Meetings for Lasting Love: 30 Minutes a Week to the Relationship You've Always Wanted (New World Library), is a psychotherapist in San Rafael, California. She helps people create relationships that are fulfilling in all the important ways-emotionally and spiritually as well as physically and materially, whether they are already married or want to be. www.marriagemeetings.com
Even in the best marriages, not all conflicts get resolved. According to psychologist John Gottman’s research, 69 percent of problems in marriage do not get solved.
His good news is that in good marriages many perpetual issues that are not deal breakers can be managed. It's not the ... Views:200
Can Prayer Really Help Relationships?- byMarcia Naomi Berger, LCSW, author ofMarriage Meetings for Lasting Love: 30 Minutes a Week to the Relationship You've Always Wanted (New World Library), is a psychotherapist in San Rafael, California. She helps people create relationships that are fulfilling in all the important ways-emotionally and spiritually as well as physically and materially, whether they are already married or want to be. www.marriagemeetings.com
Personally, I grew up with no encouragement to pray. I used to have a vague sense that prayer was for simple, naïve folks, that it was the “opiate for the masses.” So I do understand if you don’t relate to the concept.
But perhaps you do.
Most Americans Pray Daily.
According to a Pew ... Views:210
I abhor arguing. It's a waste of precious time and energy and robs me of my serenity. Conflict, however, is horse of another color. Conflict occurs daily in each of our lives. It simply means that there is a disagreement, a difference of opinion. My husband and I engage in disputes on a regular ... Views:255
I used to pride myself on being sensitive. The problem was I was easily hurt by the things other people said to me. I lived in a chronic state of pain which lead to a lifetime of unhappiness and low self-esteem. But the alternative (being cold and aloof) was less appealing so I resigned myself ... Views:336
"Idiots" are simply people like you and I who are struggling with unresolved personal issues ranging from low self-esteem to ego, insecurity to poor impulse control and more. While it is acceptable to regard the behavior as idiotic, it is never permissible to label the individual as such. People ... Views:315
When something goes wrong in your life, who do you blame?
“I’m in so much debt because the economy is bad and everything is so expensive. It’s not my fault”
“My mother always criticized me when I was a child. That’s why I suffer from low self esteem and make so many bad choices.”
Sadly, ... Views:367
HEALING THE DIVIDE
“The belief that there is only one truth, and that oneself is in possession of it, is the root of all evil in the world.” ~Max Born.
Last Month, I published an article in Security Management magazine, entitled “The Two-Way Manager.” This ... Views:256
When I was younger I must have fallen asleep for twenty years like Rip Van Winkle. Then when I awoke, somewhere in adulthood, I noticed a most unusual evolving phenomenon: in a world where only two distinct races existed (black and white) there were now Hispanics, Asians, Latinos, and others. ... Views:223
Well, we are finally here...Election Day! Normally I would make some comment about how "tomorrow we will wake up and there will be a new president." Yet, since nothing has been normal about this election, who knows what tomorrow will bring and what the status of the election not to mention the ... Views:234
Keeping our disagreements from becoming full-blown fights can be challenging. Many times, we're so passionate about our beliefs or what we want to do that any form of opposition causes us to become frustrated and angry. We may prefer that others simply agree with our position or if they don't to ... Views:303
I've been teaching anger management and conflict resolution for nearly a quarter of a century. What makes me so successful in my work is that I do not lecture on any subject matter that I haven't personally experienced and mastered. In that regard, people find me authentic and know that if I've ... Views:293
Have you ever found yourself in a situation that was somewhat confusing, uncomfortable or perhaps even dangerous? Sometimes it's hard to understand why things happen or why we must participate in particular activities. We don't often understand why certain people enter our lives or why they ... Views:217
We all seek to be powerful. I'm not speaking necessarily about having authority over others but we certainly want to have control over our own lives. Yet even the most well-intentioned, enlightened person wants to control a particular situation or individual at times. Certainly, parents impose ... Views:253
Recently a 43 year old man and father of seven, Keith Lamont Scott, was killed by police in Charlotte, NC. As is often the case, there are conflicting reports as to what actually happened. Currently, an investigation by a separate state agency is taking place to determine if this shooting was ... Views:187
We all have challenging people in our lives yet unfortunately few of us have been properly trained in how to effectively deal with them. Well, that's going to change today. In no particular order, using the an acronym "C~U~R~B Appeal", you will learn tips that will better enable you to get ... Views:293
If you get hung up on the quantum of time, you may lose sight of the quality of your relationship now and for the future.
At the end of the day some separated parents fight tooth and nail over how the children’s time will be divvied up between them. Children are even drawn into the dispute, ... Views:339
You finally recognize that your adversarial battle isn’t resolving your dispute. You’re draining your resources both financially and emotionally. You don’t believe your former partner would ever negotiate a truce, let alone a settlement. Mediation is discussed and one person says they’ll go but ... Views:388
Your behavior, how you conduct yourself at the negotiating table can work for you or against you.
Remember, this is a negotiating table, not a court of law or arbitrator’s office. In negotiating, there is little to prove and all to negotiate.
Negotiation is about how to move forward, not ... Views:248
Mediation is not a single event, not a one-time meeting where magically issues are resolved.
No. Mediation is a process that occurs with very predictable steps. Understanding these steps to the process can help you manage through the process. Separated parents entering mediation may meet ... Views:261
Do you have a partner, a colleague, a friend, a loved one where everything is a challenge and every conversation becomes a competition; where if they don’t get their way, there is hell to pay; where they are relentless in their pursuit; where somehow or other they are always right; where if they ... Views:334
Over the years, I’ve discovered there are few among us who embrace transitions. I’m not one of them.
Just ask my husband.
For perhaps the first ten years of our lives together, when we vacationed overseas (before the aid of the Internet to illustrate the sort of place we were headed to), ... Views:200
Frustrating one's nearest and dearest has the dual "advantage" of simultaneously satisfying the narcissist's masochistic and sadistic urges. By withholding love, sex, intimacy, and the fulfillment of other people's desires and needs, the narcissist torments them even as he obstructs his own ... Views:559
I think the majority of people would agree that it's unhealthy to live in the past. After all, we're all familiar with the new age philosophy, "Yesterday is History, Tomorrow a Mystery, Today is a Gift, That's why it's called the Present". Living in the past holds us back from being able to ... Views:204
If you've read my book, The Secret Side o f Anger, or attended one of my lectures on the topic, you know that while there are thousands of events that can trigger anger, there are actually only three root causes: hurt, fear, and frustration. In any given circumstance, you can trace anger back to ... Views:259
No, I'm not speaking about that "F" word. I'm going to address two different words beginning with the letter "f" and how they influence the decisions we make, our responses in any given situation, and how the outcome adds to or subtracts from our happiness and/or contributes to our anger. Those ... Views:292
As a child I was taught that anger was a bad emotion but I've have since come to understand that there are no bad feelings. All emotions have purpose and value as they teach us about ourselves based on how we react to external events. We assign value to each depending on how people act them out. ... Views:255
We are living in a very volatile and dangerous age. Not only have issues of domestic violence, child and animal abuse, anger in the workplace and so on been more apparent, but we are definitely witnessing a rise of violence within our communities. Gangs and individual assaults seem to be taking ... Views:294
Ever had a problem in life? It feels like you are dancing on fire, doesn’t it?
A problem is a problem – small or big does not matter. A problem results in unpleasantness in life. It comes in way of our joy. For those who have multiple problems; unpleasantness seems to become a way of life. ... Views:174
We are not afraid to trust the American people with unpleasant facts and competitive values. A nation that's afraid to let its people judge the truth versus falsehood in the open, is a nation that's afraid of its people---John F. Kennedy
A Hillary Clinton movie was blocked from being shown in ... Views:213
Relationships are the most challenging aspect of life whether personal, professional, casual or intimate. Even with those we love deeply, such as family members, getting along can prove challenging. Consider this: more than half of all American families are estranged from one another due in part ... Views:277
According to psychologist Charles Speilberger, Ph.D who specializes in the study of anger, “Anger is an emotional state that varies from mild irritation to intense fury and rage. It's accompanied by physiological, psychological and biological changes. When you get angry, your heart rate and ... Views:243
In the years that I facilitated my support group for estranged families, I primarily worked with older parents whose adult children had severed their relationship with them. The parents were perplexed: "I was a good parent", they declared. "I gave my children the best of everything. There is no ... Views:333
I've had many clients over the years request my help in teaching them how to control their tempers. "I lose my temper and afterwards feel terrible. I don't want to do this anymore. I need to learn how to control my temper." My response to them is this, "If you lose your keys you seek to find ... Views:342
Excerpt from Coaching for Transformation
Any real change implies the breakup of the world as one has always known it, the loss of all that gave one an identity, the end of safety. And at such a moment, unable to see and not daring to imagine what the future will now bring forth, one clings ... Views:1262
Finding Courage in Surrendering
Please allow me to start this post by saying that I am looking forward to the day that we as individuals can begin to accept, as well as seek to understand, all of what people say to us.
It is quite common that we are quick to align with and apt to indulge ... Views:346
While conducting research for today's show, I found fourteen of the most common reasons people get angry. Keep in mind, these are only the triggers. Outside circumstances are never the actual cause. There are three root causes - hurt, fear, and frustration - that prompt anger in us. Let's ... Views:526
While conducting research for today's show, I found fourteen of the most common reasons people get angry. Keep in mind, these are only the triggers. Outside circumstances are never the actual cause. There are three root causes - hurt, fear, and frustration - that prompt anger in us. Let's ... Views:282
When disagreements arise there is always the possibility that they will escalate into an argument or fight. The very nature of dissension triggers feelings of uneasiness in the average person. Most of us struggle with some degree of insecurity. Contradictory ideas, needs, beliefs, ways of doing ... Views:366
When disagreements arise there is always the possibility that they will escalate into an argument or fight. The very nature of dissension triggers feelings of uneasiness in the average person. Most of us struggle with some degree of insecurity. Contradictory ideas, needs, beliefs, ways of doing ... Views:329