Articles from Lynette Crane | Selfgrowth.com
- Is Introversion Main Stream at Last?
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Submitted on Aug 10, 2016 from Lynette CraneThe topic of introversion has now entered the mainstream. How can I tell? This topic, which I have championed for so many years (full disclosure: I am an introvert), has now appeared in one of my favorite comic strips, and I honestly don’t know whether to laugh or cry. In the Dilbert strip ...
Views:1243
- Networking Is A Life Skill
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Submitted on Jul 26, 2016 from Lynette CraneI hear it over and over again: “I can’t network. I’m an introvert.” “I don’t know what to say.” “I don’t want to brag.” A lot of people don’t like networking, but the bulk of them seem to be introverts. I’m an introvert, too, and I’m also an entrepreneur, having to teach myself along the way ...
Views:849
- Social Confidence and “Extrovert Skills”
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Submitted on Dec 16, 2015 from Lynette Crane“I used my extrovert skills.” “I had to learn some extrovert skills.” “Oh, well, I don’t have extrovert skills.” I hear these phrases all the time – and they drive me crazy. When did the ability to be socially graceful or to display good manners become the sole province of one group of ...
Views:1689
- Business Coaching and Introverts
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Submitted on Nov 27, 2015 from Lynette CraneWhen you hire a business coach and develop a program or product, the first marketing instructions you get will probably be something like this: “Contact your friends, send them a warm letter, offer them your services or product, and ask them if they know people who would be interested.” Bingo! ...
Views:1276
- Holding on to your identity during a transition?
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Submitted on Sep 08, 2015 from Lynette CraneMaybe you shouldn’t be. Transitions – in life or in career – are tough. One of the hardest parts is the seeming attack on your identity when you no longer fill a given role, a role you may have played for years, even decades. People who have had to change careers for physical or health ...
Views:1232
- The “Sliding Scale” of Introversion-Extroversion
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Submitted on Jul 07, 2015 from Lynette CraneAfter my talks, people often come up to me and say, “I used to be an introvert – but I got over it,” or, “I’m not sure; sometimes I think I’m one thing and sometimes the other. Can you be both?” Actually, you can be both, changing from one situation to another, or changing over time from one ...
Views:1151
- Bullying in the Workplace: Who Bullies Whom?
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Submitted on Jun 04, 2015 from Lynette CraneOver 40% of employees in the workplace have experienced bullying, a persistent pattern of behavior that intimidates, degrades or otherwise undermines the wellbeing of the target. Bullying is four times more prevalent than sexual abuse, and, according to a study at the University of Manitoba, the ...
Views:1237
- The Unintended Consequences of Being an Introvert
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Submitted on May 13, 2015 from Lynette CraneAs more and more attention is being paid to introversion, thanks to Susan Cain and her book, “Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking,” the world is slowly becoming aware of introvert value and, what’s better, willing to make some adjustments to accommodate introverts ...
Views:1169
- Introversion, Gut Feelings, and Trust
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Submitted on Jan 20, 2015 from Lynette CraneMaybe – just maybe – your gut-level feeling that you shouldn’t be doing something is right. But if you’re an introvert, you’ve probably had a lifetime of being told to ignore your feelings, and urged to act just the opposite. Want to stay home and read? “What’s the matter with you, anyway?” ...
Views:1043
- Transforming your year
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Submitted on Jan 06, 2015 from Lynette CraneEveryone tells you that you must have a clear vision of where you want to go and who you want to be. Not everyone tells you exactly how – and how not – to get to that vision. For example, suppose you want a life in which you are well paid and appreciated for your work. You want warm ...
Views:1107
- The Holiday Time and Energy Bandits
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Submitted on Dec 04, 2014 from Lynette CraneTime and energy bandits are habits and thought processes that can suck you dry, leaving you exhausted and harried. One of these bandits, which particularly rears its head at the holiday season, is perfectionism. Now perfectionism is a wonderful trait – in its place. Some of the places ...
Views:930
- Introvert Nervousness – Friend or Foe?
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Submitted on Nov 19, 2014 from Lynette Crane“I’m now able to give a talk in public, but I’m still nervous. I guess I won’t ever get over it.” The speaker was a woman in one of my seminars, and the topic was introversion and public speaking. Her assumption was that because she was an introvert, nervousness was always there, ready to ...
Views:916
- What If…?
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Submitted on Oct 31, 2014 from Lynette CraneA friend and I took a lovely paddleboat ride on the Mississippi River one day, past old crumbling brick walls backed by sparkling new skyscrapers, learning a lot of history that we had never heard. The good time almost didn’t happen, due to a careless mistake on my part. That mistake did ...
Views:1040
- The Introvert’s Dilemma – Which door?
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Submitted on Oct 10, 2014 from Lynette CraneA friend and I had a conversation recently, in which she remarked that, when confronted with three side-by-side doors, she would always choose one of the side doors. And I thought about that, because we introverts often slide along the edges of life, skulking. I suspect many of us make ...
Views:785
- Introvert Anger: The Good, The Bad, and The Downright Ugly
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Submitted on Sep 26, 2014 from Lynette CraneAre you an introvert? Afraid of anger? Your own and other people’s? You’re not alone. We introverts are famous for becoming clams when we’re hurt or affronted. After all, anger can involve raised voices, threatening language – all that over-stimulation against which we try to protect ...
Views:3539
- How not to motivate introverts?
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Submitted on Jul 18, 2014 from Lynette CraneIntroverts: We’re 51% of the population, and still people don’t get who we are and how we function best. We are in your workplace as employees, colleagues, managers, bosses. We can be a family member, child, lover, or friend. We are definitely well represented among your clients and ...
Views:1017
- Can an introvert have an exciting life and survive?
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Submitted on Jul 01, 2014 from Lynette CraneYes, many do. Many do not. Performers are, surprisingly often, introverts, because performing provides a perfect platform for an introvert. A performance usually involves a structured situation with behavior that is well-rehearsed; furthermore, we can usually perform without those ...
Views:932
- 3 Time Expansion Tips for Introvert
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Submitted on Jun 17, 2014 from Lynette CraneIntroverts often feel harried, trying to rush towards that time when they can kick back and relax, freed from all social – and other—obligation. This is especially true when the introvert works in a busy organization where much of what happens is not under the introvert’s control (unlike a ...
Views:926
- Becoming a socially connected introvert – without exhausting yourself
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Submitted on May 23, 2014 from Lynette CraneI read the introverts forums, I watch the comments, and I feel a little dismayed. “Why won’t people leave me alone?” “I don’t like small talk, so I avoid people.” “Being around people is just so exhausting that I spend all my free time alone.” “I hate even the thought of networking.” One gets ...
Views:1065
- The Yin, Yang and Dopamine in Relationships
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Submitted on Mar 25, 2014 from Lynette CraneSome people like to linger until the very end of a party; others like to leave early. Unfortunately, they frequently marry each other. They may very well have met and been attracted to each other because of these opposite qualities: one represents tranquility, stability, and caution, the ...
Views:969
- Are Introverts just too quiet?
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Submitted on Feb 25, 2014 from Lynette CraneI hear it often – in person, from clients, on the internet – “I’m told I’m too quiet, and need to speak out more.” I’ve had more than one client whose job review included that feedback. And the client says to me, “But I only speak when I really have something to say – and then it’s overlooked or ...
Views:839
- Pick yourself up, dust yourself off…
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Submitted on Feb 12, 2014 from Lynette CraneMaking a mistake or doing something klutzy can make anyone uncomfortable. Some people are more uncomfortable than others, going home, pulling the covers over their heads, and trying to sleep, haunted over and over by pictures of the embarrassing incident. Others apologize lightly and gracefully, ...
Views:913
( 1 vote) - Two small steps towards speaking confidence
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Submitted on Jan 28, 2014 from Lynette CraneIf you are one of those people who feels uncomfortable about speaking up in group settings, take heart. It is possible to learn to be a relaxed contributor. One of my early clients said, “Oh, I know what you’re going to say – just take a deep breath and force yourself.” Well, no, actually. ...
Views:849
- A New Year, a New Life
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Submitted on Jan 14, 2014 from Lynette CraneJanuary is the time of fresh starts, fresh ideas, and an urge to create a new, better life.Often, we start out with high hopes, only to sink by February 1 as if the balloon carrying our hopes had been punctured. We need a plan, a roadmap if you will, that we can follow, that will provide us ...
Views:947
- Choose Your Foods and Choose Your Moods
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Submitted on Dec 03, 2013 from Lynette CraneThe holidays can be a time of moods that go up and down. It’s easy to assume that changing moods are the result of what happens to you, or worse yet, just something that comes over you without any explanation whatsoever. Wouldn’t you like to have a way to choose how you feel? A way that works ...
Views:834
- How to Avoid Holiday Stress Insanity
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Submitted on Nov 26, 2013 from Lynette CraneAlong with joy and a feeling of connectedness to others, the holidays bring a rise in stress. Although most people over 30 experience a rise in stress over the holidays, according to the American Psychological Association, women are most likely to experience a sharp increase (44%) in stress, ...
Views:982
- What the heck is eustress?
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Submitted on Oct 30, 2013 from Lynette CraneHans Selye, known as the “Father of Stress,” coined the term “eustress” in 1926. It means, literally, “good stress.” Is there such a thing? You bet there is. When we’re underwhelmed by life, we seek excitement in anything from scary movies to amusement park rides; we crave new ventures and ...
Views:942
- You Have Got To Be Committed!
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Submitted on Oct 25, 2013 from Lynette CraneSo many entrepreneurs are in for a rude awakening as they continue the search for the ‘EASY’ button. You know the ones I mean – they sign up for all the free teleclasses, free webinars, grab complimentary tickets to numerous events, subscribe to every possible newsletter out there – and still, ...
Views:683
- Is Tech Stress Driving You Screaming Mad?
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Submitted on Oct 25, 2013 from Lynette CraneIt’s official (in case you hadn’t already noticed): technology is raising our stress level precipitously. In fact, Mike Kushner, co-owner of a computer solutions company in Palo Alto, California, has paramedics ready to respond to calls from what he calls the “digitally desperate.” Some ...
Views:986
- Are your Bragging Rights killing you?
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Submitted on Sep 19, 2013 from Lynette Crane“I never eat lunch,” “I work 12 hours a day,” “I only get about 4 hours of sleep a night – oh, I don’t need any more; I feel just fine.” “Weekend? What’s a weekend?” I hear these statements all the time from people whose body language and facial expressions show that they are pleased, even ...
Views:813
- What’s the difference between problem-solving and rumination?
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Submitted on Sep 04, 2013 from Lynette CraneI had occasion to explore this issue myself this week, when I discovered that somehow my utility company had switched the account number and name on the bill it sends to my home each month. Confidently and proudly paying my bills online on the first of each month, I simply looked at the ...
Views:1141
- Make It Easy On Yourself
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Submitted on Aug 29, 2013 from Lynette CraneHave you ever been caught in a race that never ends: one in which the big prize at the end is as far out of reach as it is when you started, and the small rewards along the way that might sustain you have gotten to be scarcer and scarcer? Perhaps the big prize no longer seems enticing, or ...
Views:956
- What if barriers didn’t exist?
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Submitted on Aug 21, 2013 from Lynette CraneI heard a wonderful story last night, from a woman who has had a varied, interesting andfrom any standpoint, successful, life. Her secret? She didn’t know there was a glass ceiling! In fact, she wasn’t aware of most barriers that frustrate the rest of us. Here is a story she told: At one ...
Views:949
- Why can’t you say “NO”?
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Submitted on Aug 07, 2013 from Lynette CraneI work with so many overly-busy women who are stressed beyond belief, yet they still find it difficult to say “no” to the demands that come to them from all sides. Even when they are given permission, or even urged to say no to these demands by friends, family or managers, they still find it ...
Views:946
- What is life was a multiple choice test?
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Submitted on Jul 30, 2013 from Lynette CraneIf life was a multiple choice test, would you always pick the same answer? “Let’s see, it’s choice B. Guess I’ll go with that all the way.” At least in a real multiple choice test, you can see all choices – usually four – laid out and you may even ponder them before you mark your ...
Views:868
- What do you say to a Dementor?
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Submitted on Jul 10, 2013 from Lynette CraneIn my last article, “Watch who you share your pain with,” I described several kinds of people who only make your pain worse by saying the wrong things. I call them, collectively, Dementors, familiar to Harry Potter fans as creatures who suck all hope out of you. They may magnify your tiny ...
Views:1079
- Who do you share your pain with?
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Submitted on Jun 26, 2013 from Lynette CraneWe all know, intuitively, what research tells us: we need companions in life with whom to share both our joys and our pains. People who do not have anyone with whom to share tend to lead more stressful, less healthy lives. Unfortunately, not everyone is an ideal companion for such sharing. ...
Views:906
- Is Stress a Choice? Or a Habit?
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Submitted on Jun 19, 2013 from Lynette CraneWe often say that stress isn’t just something that happens to you, it’s a choice you make about how to react to what happens to you. In a sense this is true, but it is an unconscious choice. You’re not only unaware that you’re making a choice, but even that there are any other ...
Views:907
- Are you a highly sensitive person?
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Submitted on Jun 12, 2013 from Lynette CraneAre you one of those people who startles easily? Finds that you’re running a little too fast or being a little too concerned at what later look like minor events? You’re not crazy, you’re not alone, and it’s not your imagination, nor is it a lack of self control, as you may have imagined (or ...
Views:916
( 1 vote) - Want to know the best way to save your life?
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Submitted on Jun 03, 2013 from Lynette CraneIf you could do one thing right now to reduce stress, would you do it? Or would your overly-crowded life – too much to do, a loved one’s demands are more important than your needs, your job requires you to keep on working so hard – take over?Well, here is the secret to a healthier, happier ...
Views:824
- Have you ever had a psychological sucker punch?
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Submitted on May 27, 2013 from Lynette CraneHave you ever had someone explain to you, coldly and logically, why your dream or vision is impossible, and can never come true? Well, I have. Most recently last week. As it happens, I had stopped focusing on my stress management programs during the last year, while I finished my book, The ...
Views:1060
- Are you carrying some introvert baggage?
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Submitted on May 19, 2013 from Lynette CraneMany people do; some of them are introverts, the others are extroverts. The basic definition of an introvert is of someone who is very sensitive to external stimulation and needs to withdraw periodically because our energy is depleted by too much stimulation, whereas an extrovert is someone ...
Views:828
- Can you change the past?
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Submitted on May 13, 2013 from Lynette CraneCan you go back and change the past, or are you stuck with what you remember? That’s the key: what you remember. The fact is, our brains are stuffed with memories, only some of which we retrieve, convincing ourselves we have a true and complete picture of the past when in fact we have a ...
Views:936
- Who’s writing your life script?
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Submitted on Apr 08, 2013 from Lynette CraneWe all live our lives based on assumptions – beliefs we are sure are true about what we are capable of doing, what is acceptable for us to do, and what we think is inevitable. So where do those assumptions come from? I thought of this while attending a play last week. The central ...
Views:890
- What the heck is virtual learning?
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Submitted on Mar 30, 2013 from Lynette CraneI meet people all the time who don’t really understand virtual learning, and are therefore wary of signing up for anything that is presented in this way. What a shame; there is so much expertise out there that you can access once you become familiar with this increasingly popular method of ...
Views:889
- Are you afraid of success … or is it something else?
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Submitted on Mar 11, 2013 from Lynette CraneHas someone suggested to you that you fear success? Or have you thought it about yourself? If so, what is it you are really afraid of? I had to think about this some years ago, when I was starting out as a speaker. An enthusiastic and supportive friend of mine would say, frequently, “Maybe ...
Views:1102
- How can I soar with eagles when I work with turkeys?
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Submitted on Mar 06, 2013 from Lynette CraneI remember this sign in an organization for which I worked years ago, and when I thought of some of my colleagues, I laughed in recognition. Much later, I recognized that some of them probably had my face in mind when they looked at the sign and laughed. The expression refers to someone ...
Views:1167
- Are you bothered by public speaking?
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Submitted on Feb 28, 2013 from Lynette CraneYour work or life may require speaking in public. Some people think of public speaking as delivering a talk to a large audience; others think that two or more people constitute a large enough audience to be intimidating. Are you one of the rare people who is frightened of public speaking? ...
Views:995
( 1 vote) - What does confidence have to do with your heart?
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Submitted on Feb 20, 2013 from Lynette CraneConfident people know when to be afraid; they then take action – to run away from the saber-toothed tiger, leave the burning building, or whatever. Unconfident, or socially anxious, people, on the other hand, are wracked by numerous anxieties over what are called “paper tigers”: fears about how ...
Views:917
- The Confident Introvert Networker
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Submitted on Feb 12, 2013 from Lynette CraneWhether you are networking for business or for personal reasons, being an introvert can make the process painful. It doesn’t have to be. My interest in confidence and its opposite, social anxiety, came as the result of a painful end to a marriage in which I had become increasingly socially ...
Views:1066
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