Understanding Judgment - Use of the Word Should

How many of you have wonderful feelings of unconditional love when someone judged you or whenever you judged another? A good way to gauge the answer is by your reaction to it. From my own observations, whenever someone judged me, I became angry or upset. I noticed it most when someone would say to me, "You should do so and so."

Take 'should' out of your vocabulary.
A shaman and spiritual teacher named Charles Crooks once told me, "Take the word 'should' out of your vocabulary because it implies you know better than someone else, suggesting you are superior, and this is judgment." Whenever someone tells you that you 'should' do something is there resistance? Why do you think that could be? Might the answer lie in the knowledge that by allowing another to be superior to you actually makes you feel inferior? Is this not a state of domination? Therefore, would you agree that judgment causes you to turn away from the light within?

Symbol of law is neutral and equally balanced.A set of scales is often associated in a court of law, where a judge presides. In fact, the Scales of Justice are perhaps the most ancient symbol associated with law, symbolizing impartial deliberation. The scales 'weigh' two sides in a legal dispute, but are shown equally balanced. Therefore, their image intends to represent an unbiased opinion.

Court of law judge has authority to rule; others do not.
A judge in a court of law ultimately gives rulings on what is considered 'right' or 'wrong', either meriting reward or punishment. However, society has given him this authority. We, as individuals, do not have this authority. Could it be that we have assumed this power whenever we give advice in the form of 'you should?'

Allow others the right to reject advice.If someone judges by use of the word 'should', and it invokes feelings of resistance in the form of anger, defense or discomfort, then something may be amiss. Do you suppose another approach is appropriate? Might you allow people the right to reject what you have to present? If so, 'should' does not work. Since it is the purpose of a judge to weigh both sides so that they are equally balanced, can you, likewise, apply the same principle to yourself?

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