The Hypnosis of Social Conditioning

Social conditioning, according to Wikipedia, is “the sociological process of training individuals in a society to respond in a manner generally approved by the society in general and peer groups within society.” Owki dowki, now here is the definition of brainwashing from the same source, “…the application of coercive techniques to change the values and beliefs, perceptions and judgments, and subsequent mindsets and behaviors of one or more people, usually for political, financial, personal, or religious purposes.”

So, if we stop throwing the different words around and the differing intentions and so on and just look at what social conditioning and brainwashing actually does, I think we can generally conclude that the two processes pretty much accomplish the same thing. That is, to dictate how a person behaves, lives and exists.

Social conditioning and the meaning of success

A story always illustrates a point so much better than my rambling so here is one from an unknown source that I came across…

A businessman was at the pier of a small coastal Mexican village when a small boat with just one fisherman docked. Inside the small boat were several large yellow fin tuna. The businessman complimented the Mexican on the quality of his fish and asked how long it took to catch them. The Mexican replied only a little while.

The businessman then asked why he didn't stay out longer and catch more fish? The Mexican said he had enough to support his family 's immediate needs. The businessman then asked, but what do you do with the rest of your time? The Mexican fisherman said, "I sleep late, fish a little, play with my children, take a siesta with my wife, Maria, stroll into the village each evening where I sip wine and play guitar with my amigos; I have a full and busy life, señor."

The businessman scoffed, "I am a Harvard MBA and I could help you. You should spend more time fishing and with the proceeds buy a bigger boat. With the proceeds from the bigger boat you could buy several boats; eventually you would have a fleet of fishing boats. Instead of selling your catch to a middleman, you would sell directly to the processor and eventually open your own cannery. You would control the product, processing and distribution. You would need to leave this small coastal fishing village and move to Mexico City, then LA and eventually New York City where you would run your expanding enterprise."

The Mexican fisherman asked, "But señor, how long will this all take?" To which the businessman replied, "15-20 years." "But what then, señor?" The businessman laughed and said, "That's the best part! When the time is right you would announce an IPO and sell your company stock to the public and become very rich. You would make millions." "Millions, señor? Then what?" The businessman said, "Then you would retire. Move to a small coastal fishing village where you would sleep late, fish a little, play with your kids, take a siesta with your wife, stroll to the village in the evenings where you could sip wine and play your guitar with your amigos."

The fisherman, still smiling, looked up and said, "Isn't that what I'm doing right now?"

I have always wondered what the response was from that Harvard MBA. If only I could get a part two to this story. Is it not sad how social conditioning has manipulated our belief system, leaving us with totally distorted definitions of what is important in life? We get up very early in the morning, leaving the kids at home to commute for an hour and a half to the office. At the office, we do a job we don’t like and answer to a difficult boss with a Napoleon complex. Then we commute back for two hours and find the kids sleeping or waiting for you to cook. We barely touch our heads to the pillow and its morning! Rewind and play again, the urgent ruling the important. This goes on for years so that we could drive ‘good’ cars, put on that ‘bling’, buy big houses and present the socially conditioned picture of success. All this can sometimes be done at the expense of one’s health, marriage, time with the kids, peace of mind etc.

What social conditioning defines as success and wealth are actually only symbols of success and wealth. Success is good health, love, purposeful life and abundance – Happiness. To focus on the symbols is akin to fighting for the map instead of the territory. Does it make any sense to compromise one’s health, family and peace of mind for societal approval? We have become so brainwashed, we draw our identity from what we are and what we possess. The Mexican fisherman story paints such a vivid picture of what is really happening. The Fisherman is already wealthy but the Harvard graduate is busy chasing those pesky symbols! I think you will agree with me that it is perfectly okay to possess material wealth and succeed in the corporate world (if that’s what you really want) as long as we are not fixated at chasing these symbols. I mean, yes, money won’t buy you love but you sure need it for dinner and flowers! We should, however, not chase for it at the expense of what we really seek - happiness . The Harvard graduate without his MBA and possessions would probably feel like a failure because social conditioning told him so. However, what did he really want at the end? Brainwashing is a nasty thing I tell you!

Social conditioning vs. Purposeful life

We are conditioned to put money and what money brings as our beacon in life and so many of our life choices revolve around this. It can easily cloud our judgment so here is one way of overcoming the fogginess. Imagine that you received 200 Million dollars today after taxes. You are set. Money is no object. What would you do with you life? Would you continue doing what you are currently doing? If not, where would you engage yourself? Where you spend your precious time, your life? The answer you get is your passion , your purpose. We are often afraid of change but when passion is pursued, happiness is attained and the cars, the big houses and bling flow in effortlessly. I would bet my right arm that the Harvard MBA’s response to the 200 million dollar question would be would have been, “I would move to a small coastal fishing village where I would sleep late......"

You catch my drift. Stay blessed.