One of the things that I stress with my clients is learning how to live a values-based life. All of us have values but often people aren't deeply tuned into what those values are. Also, many people aren't taught the skills they need to tap into those values and use them to guide their decisions. Switching to a values based life approach is deeply empowering and fulfilling. It allows us to create the life we dream of.
The first step in living a values-based life is to identify your goals. Write down 3-5 major life goals that you have on a piece of paper. Then write down a list of the things that you value. This can be a list of words or you can write out full sentences and paragraphs. Now examine the relationship between your life goals and your values. How do they correspond?
Once you've got a good understanding of your goals, your values and their relationship, it's time to take a look at your life. Ask yourself "What is keeping me from acting on and pursuing my goals?" Take a look at the actions and decisions that are stopping you from pursuing the things you want. Are those actions and decisions in line with your values? If not, how can you use your values to help you make new choices?
Most often, what people learn is that fear is keeping them from acting on their values. This can be a real eye opening experience, to look at your life and realize the fears that are keeping you from acting on the things you value. The important thing here is awareness. The more you become aware of your values and the fears that are keeping you from acting on them, the more likely you are to change your behavior .
While this exercise is essential, it isn't enough to change your life. You have to keep reinforcing it. Find a way to reaffirm your values on a regular basis. Write them down and put them on your bathroom mirror or in your car so that you see them every day. As you become more and more aware of your values and keep them in the front of your mind, you will begin noticing places in your life where you don't act on them so you can start making new choices and creating a deeply fulfilling life.
Andrea Duff practices counseling in Albuquerque, NM. She specializes in treating patients who suffer from anxiety, victims of abuse and people with PTSD and ADHD.