Getting Clear and Congruent

Are feelings and thoughts enough to create the things we want in life? In 2006, the bestselling movie and book entitled The Secret gained widespread popularity by telling us just that. If we declare our intentions and step into the emotions of already receiving what we desire, the result will manifest itself. I’m not here to debunk the notion, but to share what they forgot to tell you.

You have to take action. That’s right — you have to be prepared do something.

We shouldn’t ask for the perfect mate and then, hide in our apartment. The first plan of action doesn’t have to be a blind date, but it should mean making eye contact with potential suitors during the morning coffee run. We must be prepared to vote with our feet, especially if our emotions aren’t rallying around our intention.

Today, a lovely young woman told me how she recently stepped into her intention. She’d been looking for a new job, so she could join her fiancé on the other side of the state. Her search was turning up empty handed, and she was on the brink of giving up. Then, she decided she was moving — job or no job — and declared it out loud. A gutsy move in this economy, right? But the next day she had a promising interview, which quickly turned into a job offer. As she said, “Once my intention to move was solid, it all just fell into place.”

You see, once she solidified the decision with action there was an internal sense of congruency. She was reconciling what she wanted and declaring what was possible with her deeds, and her emotions authentically responded in-kind. Once you are clear and congruent, the energy flows very differently and there is an opening created for new possibilities.

The other thing The Secret failed to disclose was the necessity to check the motivation behind the intention. When our desires are generated from a place of protection, fear, or ego, the intention won’t gain any forward movement because playing defense doesn’t provide the emotional traction we need. When we want more clients, for example, from a place of desperation – it will be easy to get more angst instead. You have to sink into the emotions of realizing more clients from a place of love, service, and gratitude if you want to build your business. That’s what changed the face of my practice.

I had my own example recently of bringing this mindset to life. I used to have a dream of being on Oprah. I just envisioned I would write a book, which would make me a natural shoe-in for a guest spot. I know, my dreams were big. Anyway, the Oprah Show was recently running a contest with the prize of tickets to be in the studio audience for one of her last shows. The entry was a short video describing how Oprah had changed or impacted your life.

Now, I normally don’t do contests but there was something that wouldn’t allow me to delete the contest email from my inbox. So, I made a video. And in that moment, I took emotional stock of the fact that I no longer wanted to be on her show from a place of ego. There was nothing to prove, just heartfelt thanks. Also, by making the video — not just thinking about it — I was amplifying the gratitude I felt for Oprah’s wisdom and guidance over the years.

Specifically, I remembered when Oprah's guest Sarah Ban Breathnach, the author of Simple Abundance , transformed me from a viewer of life to a participant of life. The invitation to embrace gratitude as a daily practice moved me into action. Years later, it seems so clear that my own journey of self-discovery and spiritual awakening started in the moment that I bought that book.

And yes, I’m heading to Chicago in May. But here’s the beautiful part — I never submitted the video. My production was too long, which meant I needed to find another window to finish my project. In the interim and unbeknownst to me, an appreciative client and friend took it upon herself to see if she could use a personal contact to get some Oprah tickets. It appears she, too, was feeling deeply grateful for our work together.

So you see, good intentions and positive vibes created the outcomes we both desired. It started with a dream and turned into action, but it wouldn’t have unfolded without the congruency of the emotions born from a place of love, gratitude, and service. And, Chicago here I come!