"Pregnancy is the physical epiphany and miracle of coming into existence. The miracle of pregnancy and birth, along with the inevitability of death , join us all. It is our task to make our birth a blessing." --Suzanne Kyra, Welcome Home to Yourself
Where our existence comes from is unknown, and where we go when we die is unknown. In this world, we are in our bodies for a startlingly brief time. In pregnancy and birth our mother and father did not know us—the new being they were delivering into the world. However, they had a responsibility to assure our nurturance. Whether or not either of our parents gifted us with the ideal nurturing we required, as adults we need to call on ourselves to cherish and honor who we are.
I Have Learned
... that how I was attended to during my in utero developmental stage and my birthing experience influenced my ability to build healthy trust, love, and attachments. Research tells us that new life in the womb senses its parents and is impacted by them. Choosing to intentionally engage and connect with the new, yet unborn life, is the early beginning of a mutual experience of love and attachment. Engaging in the journey of my pregnancy
and birthing, followed by the presence of new life, was a profound time of celebrating my son’s entrance into existence, acknowledging that he made it. Another miracle that we all share by existing! It is the nature of life that many pregnancies end prematurely. Mindfully loving, grieving, and releasing the life that was can be so difficult. A tremendous amount of support from yourself and others is needed in these times.
Musings on Pregnancy
and Birth, with Humility
Humility is accepting what is, without evaluation. Like humility, pregnancy and birth exist without guarantee of the outcome we all hope for. We need to accept what is. What events during your parents’ pregnancy with you influence your life today? Were you and your wholeness honored by both your parents? How do you enjoy your life and appreciate your female or male identity? What about who you are gives you satisfaction and greatest joy? What do you need to believe, think, and do to release your fears and honor your existence?
Encouragement
May you experience the empowerment, satisfaction, and inner peace
that comes with self-care and self-soothing. Do what you can to learn it as an adult, even if it was not offered to you as a baby or child. As an adult, may you take full care of your existence and become the best parent you can be to yourself, honoring your right to thrive. May you be mindful of your needs, take care of those needs, and be discerning when wants appear as needs. If you are grieving the loss of a pregnancy or the inability to conceive, be gentle, kind, and patient with the necessary grieving process.
My commitment to honoring my existence and sex, and the existence and sex of all others is ...
The above is an excerpt from Welcome Home to Yourself: A therapist and photographer explore the meaning of life through individual lenses—a mother and son’s journey published in 2008 by Relationships Matter Publishing Inc. www.suzannekyra.com
Suzanne Kyra is a Registered Clinical Counselor, self-empowerment specialist, workshop leader, international speaker, consultant, and clinical supervisor at the Psychology Clinic with Simon Fraser University, B.C., Canada. She is the author of the award winning book, Welcome Home to Yourself, which is about living authentically in harmony with self and nature. Kyra has over three decades experience in all areas of human development, and is an expert in developmental stages, parenting, intimate relationships, and abundant living.