I awoke one morning this week irritable and discontent. To be honest it wasn’t a total surprise; I have been working on a project for Stepping Into Joy; people were not getting back to me in a timely basis or responding in a manner I was hoping for. I was discouraged and frustrated. I then go into self-centered mode of why do I bother putting in the time and effort when no one seems to care. This is Queen Baby at her best.
What often happens to me is that when events don’t play out with the expectations I was looking for or on MY time schedule .. I let this get me down. I then start sabotaging myself in other areas. Food is typically an area that frequently comes up. I consider myself a healthy conscious eater. My marathon training has virtually eliminated any cravings for sugar or fatty foods … Yea!
But, Queen Baby has other ideas. Sitting down to a burger and fries this week on top of the ice cream the night before; I’m not feeling happy with my choices and this further feeds into my pity party. I know what I’m doing however; can’t seem to shake my spiral down. Fortunately, these little bouts of self-centeredness are short lived. There was a time where I could have the ‘screw it’ attitude for months on end. This one lasted just over one week.
I knew that when I woke up cranky; I had hit my emotional bottom. At my emotional bottom; gratitude for what I have in my life is tossed out the window. I am not happy!
What happened to me this week happens to most people. So what do you do to pull yourself back on track?
For me, it’s getting back to basics in my life. First of all, I find that I need to share with someone where I am at. I have learned over time that a problem shared, is half a problem. Once I get out of myself by sharing with someone else; I need to allow the disciplines in my life to take hold again. That is eating the right foods, exercising and making sure I get enough sleep.
Today, my training schedule called out 4 miles. I decided to run in my neighborhood; which takes 2 laps to make 4 miles. At the end of mile number 2, I had the urge to stop. Stopping had nothing to do with feeling tired; I just had the ‘screw it’ attitude lingering. I knew I couldn’t allow myself to start slipping back into Queen Baby. I said out loud ‘Get over yourself and DO IT!’ As I past the point of turning home, I felt a little burst of energy.
As I was beginning mile 3, I felt good about my choice. My thoughts started transitioning back to my project, my expectations and Queen Baby. I realized my perfectionism was sabotaging my best efforts. By the time I had ended my run, I had come to a place of acceptance with the situation. This is where I need to give the problem to The Big Guy and keep doing the work I know I need to do. He is responsible for the outcome.
I am glad I have the willingness to use my life tools to adjust my attitude and get me back on the right path. It amazes me how quickly my emotions bounce back from where they were at this morning when I just do the next right thing.
Debbi Dickinson has been a single divorced mother for 9 years. She has a teenage daughter. Debbi is also a recovered alcoholic for 9 years who’s marriage didn’t survive her getting sober.
Newly sober and divorced she struggled with reclaiming her life and writes about her experiences in her blogs. Through her own mistakes, she shares her experience, strength and hope for the bright future which today she now enjoys.
She is intimately familiar with the struggles of single parents endure whether it’s answering our children’s questions about divorce, spending holidays alone or finding love again. She also tackles topics such as dealing with ex-spouse, setting boundaries and steps to reclaiming You!
Debbi is widely published including being regularly featured in Huffington Post.