The Three Essentials of Recovery Part One

FIRST INGRDIENT " A SUPPORT SYSTEM"

One of the most important element in "getting and staying" in Recovery, No Matter what you are recovering from . Is A Support System in place for YOU.. Now WHAT IS A SUPPORT SYSTEM. A support system is the foundation of your recovery, It's like building a house. How long will your house stay up and livable if the foundation is on a bad foundation? Yor recovery is the same! So what are the ingreideints for a solid support system.
1) It Needs to be readily Available- Now this doesn't mean you are the cernter of the universe and the world stops when you call. It does men you should beable to reach someone on the phone (or in person) in a reasonable amount of time(1/2-1 hour)
2) It needs to involve more than one person- for a coupls of reasons. One being people are people- we are all fallable (life happens), secondly if one person tells you something it can be that persons opinion or beliefs, however if a group of people are saying the same thing then it's more apt to be for real. Thirdly if your depending on one person's support constantly, your going to want to spread it around a little so it doesn't become a burden. especially if you begin to think your being a burden how much will you reach out for HELP, you'll probably tell yourself to do it yourself. This defeats the whole purpose of a support system. Remember I can't We Can.
3) It provides EMOTIONAL SUPPORT not FINANCIAL SUPPORT- Now this does not mean you cannot accept someone buying you a coffee or a meal or something of this nature on occcassion or even "RARE FINACIAL" assistance. However Recovery is about learning to take care of your self and taking responibility for yourself and this include "FISCAL RESPONSIBILITY". Yes eary recovery is usually a time of financial restraint. However the growth of this period is part of the whole recovery process.
4)It needs to give you HONEST feedback of your Behaviors and Atitudes.
In early recovery we can't always trust ourselves, as said befare "our heads have a contract on our asses"As well our thinking is influenced by a well developed aqnd honed "warped Defense mechanisms" developed through years of abuse.Even if your support systems feedback is wrong and it can be always check it out first. Discuss all your major decisions with them before taking action. Now for most of us in early recovery the support system we establish will be comprised mostly by those we have met in our particular 12 step fellowship. A note here is that this needs to include persons with more "recovery time" than your own, not a bad idea to have an "Oldtimer" or two in the mix.
5) Yes it can include a "Sponsor"- How do I Chood A Sponsor
CHOOSING A SPONSOR
this is a tricky one however I have a few hard and fast RULES I Strongly Recommend
A) The SAME SEX A man cannot teach a woman how to be a woman in recovery
each gender has it's own set of issues. And there's always the chance of another kind of relationship developing and thats one for a whole other posting or 10
B) Availability- Again the best sponsor in the world is no good to you if you can't reach
them or they have very little time they can devote to you.
C) They Know How to Stay "Clean and Sober" They have significant CONTINOUS recovery
time.
D) They live What They Preach- Unfortunately some people in the rooms speak real well
However they don't live it. Go out for coffe with them Visit their homes See if the actually
Prcatice what they Preach ( HIGH PRIORITY on THIS)
E) They are willing to be HONEST with you- Without a doubt this is the single most
valueable asset in a sponsor. Some one who willing lovingly tell you your being an
as@$#%le. After all A REAL FRIEND is someone who is honest with you.

Can Group theraphy and/or Theraphy- In A word NO. Theraphy of any form is TREATMENT
You may get supprot from it however it is treatment and not to be considered as part of
your support system.