Do you know someone who seems to effortlessly achieve goals they set out to accomplish? And they reach those goals quickly? Their secret is simple – self-confidence. Part of healing from divorce is the quest for rebuilding of self-confidence that can erode over time in a marriage . Here are ideas you can implement immediately to gain confidence in achieving your goals:
1. Get outside your comfort zone. Challenging yourself to new tasks is a great way to build confidence. If you are shy, make a goal to talk to one new person each day. This may be small talk with the cashier at the grocery store while you're checking out or going out to lunch with a co-worker you typically don't lunch with. If you want to enhance your cooking
skills, take a cooking
class or ask a friend to be a cooking
mentor once a month. Better speaker is your choice, then join Toastmasters. The idea is to stretch yourself, as you take small steps towards learning
new things your confidence will grow.
2. Create an Appreciation Journal. Every night, make a list of 10 items that you appreciated that day. This is a chance to reflect on your day. Celebrate your successes no matter if big or small. Also list out those experiences you enjoyed that day. My list may include a beautiful sunset, nice bubble bath, enjoyable evening with my daughter. Recognizing that you are richly blessed is a cornerstone of confidence.
3. Unsolicited Advice. Typically any advice never asked for is not that helpful. My experience has proven that most advice given in this manner is not positive. I find that it helps a person get something off their chest, is heavily biased and can undermine your confidence. I respond to advice with one of two answers depending on the situation. I either say nothing; or, I say 'Thank you for sharing your opinion.' And I drop the topic. Never do I get into a discussion about their viewpoint because it is THEIR viewpoint; not yours. Finally, don't think about the advice anymore because it will erode your confidence.
4. Stick with the Winners. Stay close to people who are optimist; not pessimists. People who are chronically negative will overtime pull your confidence down. You want people around who you'll be able to share your successes with. An optimist will be cheering you on. A pessimist will be telling you that you have a long, difficult road ahead.
Using my own life as living proof that extraordinary choices lead to an amazing life, I help others women do the same. As a divorced mother, I empower other divorcees to move out of their comfort zone and begin creating an extraordinary life for themselves and their children.