FINDING LOVE

8 COMMON DATING MISTAKES MOST PEOPLE MAKE ON THE INTERNET

Finding loveWe all want to be loved. It is a very profound human need. But how do we get it? Where do we look for it? Why don't we find it?

Today more and more people are perusing the Internet looking for love. Men and women alike are searching for that special someone. Yet the divorce rate is climbing. Most people feel that they have not found their soul mate or special someone. Why is that? Is the Internet really the place to look? If you want to use the Internet to date you have to be smart, sexy and savvy. Here are the 8 most common mistakes that people make on dating sites.

1. You don't love yourself. "Sure," you say, "I love myself." But do you really? You will attract whatever you send out. If you are negative, you will find a partner who is negative. If you are a liar you will find someone who will lie and cheat on you. If you don't love yourself you will attract someone who will treat you badly and not respect you. Before you go looking for love ready my book. Odyssey Victim to Victory. Love is the foundation of all our relationships including the one you have with you. Saying negative things about yourself does not serve you. Stop doing it. Right now. Make a contract with yourself to only say positive and loving things to you. Until you really love and accept yourself as you are, you will not find unconditional love. Unconditional love comes from within. Looking outside of yourself for love will leave you cold, empty and crying. Most likely you will not even recognize true love if it fell off a shelf and hit you on the head. If you are lonely, you don't love yourself. If you cannot be alone with yourself, you will not be happy with another either. This is a unending spiral. This is why so many people have been married so many times. They blame the other person for their unhappiness and get divorced. When the underlying cause of the divorce was lack of self love. DO NOT PASS GO! DO NOT COLLECT $200 ! Call me to schedule a one-on-one session with me now. If this is you.

2. Mis-representing yourself in your profile and photo . This is the biggest area of concern for most people using the Internet. It is very easy to post someone else's photo with a gorgeous fit body and full head of hair. Yet is this really you? If your photo is not 3 months or less, it is not considered current. Get a friend to take a photo of you fresh-looking, shave (for men) wear earrings and dressed nicely, with make-up if you wear it and your hair blown dry (for women). This is your best face you are putting out here. Look your best and make sure that the person taking the photo takes a head shot. Do not include your feet and your whole backyard or neighborhood. Nobody wants to see that. This is a up close and personal photo. So that people can see your face. Your photo tells the person looking at your profile a lot. Are you trying to hide behind sunglasses. Do not were sunglasses in this photo. Do not wear a ski mask or turn your head away from the camera. If you want a date, read the above paragraph again.

3. Saying you want a life partner when you just want sex. If you are not honest about this, your whole relationship is based on a lie. Some people are looking for love and a long-term relationship that leads to marriage, but not everyone wants the same thing. Some people are dealing with life issues and cannot have a relationship or don't want to. Although there is also a group out there that are afraid they will be hurt again and avoid relationships for that reason. PEOPLE LISTEN UP HERE! You cannot find love without taking a risk. The old adage, "No Pain, No Gain! has never been more true. If you want something that is truly of value, it is worth taking the risk and putting yourself out there. I know hundreds of women who are celibate, not because they want to be, but because they were hurt in their previous relationships. Men are in the same boat, they want someone in their bed, to share their hopes and dreams with, but are so scared that they will experience pain if they put themselves out there, that they remain stuck. Stuck is no place to be. It means you are stagnant and dying . Wouldn't you rather live? I know I sure would. Take a risk, what is the worst that can happen? Buddha said pain is inevitable, suffering is optional. Being stuck is suffering. Get out there and LIVE!

3. Lying of any sort is not Kosher! If you lie even a little bit in your profile, exaggerate or stretch the truth, it is the same as lying. If you tell the truth it is so much less stress. You don't have to try and remember what tales you have woven on your profile. Tell the truth. You have goodness inside you. Be honest, be positive. Talk about yourself as if you were describing yourself to an employer or new friend. Express yourself in your profile. Let your prospective partner get a peak at what is inside the box, or under the hood.

4. Telling someone they are hot and you can't wait to wake up next to them in the morning! Maybe this works for moose and deer in the woods, but it does not work with women. We want to be told we are beautiful, not hot. Hot means all you are thinking of is what lies ahead figuratively in the bedroom. Get your head out of the gutter and woo her. Men this takes time and effort. I know some of you just don't want to be bothered. Then give it up right now. Wooing and romance is part of the process and ritual of dating . It is required. This is what sets us apart from the animals in the forest. We actually have to get to know the person we are about to bed, first.

5. Expectations of Sex and Timing. Everyone is different. I don 't recommend sex before date 3 or 4. Perhaps even longer if you want the relationship to last. The earlier you hop into the sack - the shorter the relationship will be. It if a proven fact. Men have unconscious programming that pops back in when the relationship is about 6 months old. "If you did that with me, you'll probably do that with someone else!" If you want your relationship to be long lasting, take time to get to know one another. Do activities together and certainly don't rush into introducing your children to every Tom, Dick or Harry that you drag home. Your kids will be confused, even if you find it more convenient. It has a lasting affect on children. they begin to feel their worlds are being threatened by this new intruder.

6. Treat others as you want to be treated. If you are not interested in a date, do not lead them on and continue e-mailing or dating them. Don't let someone become more vested in a relationship that you have not interest in other than your own personal boredom and loneliness. Be kind, respectful and polite. If you need to tell someone you are not interested. You don't have to be rude, or mean. Just think of how you would like to be told. Use the Golden Rule. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Come with cash. Buy your date coffee for a change. Don't just expect that someone will pay your way all the time (women). There are two sides to the coin. You have to give to receive. You will be surprised at how well it goes over women, when you exercise your independence and buy your date a coffee for a change.

7. First Dates Are Always One Hour At a Public Place. You don't know this person. Set up your date at a mutually agreed upon place and time. A coffee house works best. Get a coffee, tea or bottle of water and sit and talk. A meal, movie or other distraction takes away from the purpose, DISCOVERY. You are here to learn about the other person. If you don't have any chemistry, and can't agree on activities and interests, let the person know, "Thank you for meeting me. This is not going to work for me." Keep it simple and short. Women and men should drive about the same distance to arrive at the agreed place.

8. Keep It Safe. Never give out your phone number or address to someone you have met on the internet before the first date. Meet them once or twice, or more to be sure that you can trust them. Drive your own vehicle. Never allow a first date to pick you up at your home. If you have any misgivings about the person or the meeting, don't go. Trust your own guidance. Your gut will never lie to you.

My Best Picks For Dating Sites

Free site: OK CUPID

Paid Site:

1.Match.com, 2.Chemistry.com, 3. Perfect Match, 4. E-Harmony, 5. Spark