I recently had one of those life flashbacks that can make your stomach turn. For me, it was all the complaining I use to do. I would whine about the injustices of my life. Raising my fist to The Big Guy and exclaiming how could you do this to me.
It was easy to sit around and do nothing but complain. What was difficult was actually doing something about my situation.
The flashback came when I was with a group of friends recently and one was just going on and on about all the terrible things going on in their life. When asked what they were going to do about it; they replied 'Nothing' there is nothing I can do; I'm just going to wait it out.
I thought to myself, that is the way I use to think. I would refuse to take ownership of my issues. Because if I take ownership than I need to do something. For me, taking the stance of 'there is nothing I can do' or raising my fist to The Big Guy was my way of saying .. not my problem I'll just sit here and wait for it to fix itself.
It took time for me to realize that my life circumstances I need to accept. And accepting them does not mean I need to like them. But I need to accept what is going on in my life AND I need to start putting forth action to change my circumstances. Sometimes it's changing my viewpoint; most of the time I need to put forth actionable effort to change the circumstances.
One day someone made a comment to me; you do a lot of complaining don't you? I can tell you that stopped me in my tracks. I knew I complained; but I didn't think it was that bad.
I decided that I would be mindful and not complain for a week. I can tell you it was hard and was surprised to find that nearly every time I was going to speak it was a complaint or a negative comment. I was clueless! I was also determined to change my ways and started focusing my energy on working on my problems versus complaining about them.
I found that overtime as I started doing more action than complaining; I had a more positive view on life. Mostly because I was dealing with life on life's turn instead of whining.
I do admit that there were times that I would still complain; but something had changed with my friends. I found them to be much more receptive to offering suggestions versus the stony silence I use to get when I was a chronic complainer.
I can honestly say that I rarely complain now; because I deal with life issues as they come up. My life is great; no complaints!
Debbi Dickinson is a professional woman who knows the struggles of integrating work, home and personal aspects of her life. She is a single divorced mother for 9 years of a beautiful teenage daughter. Over the years, she has developed techniques that have allowed her not to compromise one part of her life to make another part work. Through these techniques she has peace. With peace come happiness to know that she was an incredible life and knows how to keep it.
Debbi works with other professional women to integrate their lives without compromising.
Debbi is widely published including regularly featured on Huffington Post.