There was a time in my life when I was separated from someone I loved because he had to do military duty in Iraq. We were able to text and send letters and occasionally we even spoke on the phone. Inevitably we said, "I miss you."
I began to notice that "I miss you" left me feeling lonely and helpless. I thought about what, specifically, I missed about him, and I made a list. I miss your smile. I miss your laugh. I miss seeing your face. I miss just driving around in the car with you. I miss holding hands. I miss doing your laundry. I miss you running errands for me. I miss being close, being able to hug.
Then inspiration struck and I "translated" my list:
I wish I could see your smiling face right now.
I wish I could see you burst out laughing.
I wish we were driving in the car right now.
I wish we were driving to do chores together.
I wish we were driving to the beach together.
I wish we were holding hands and could hug each other.
I had turned "miss" into "wish." Then I was moved to "translate" again:
I am imagining you smiling at me right now.
I am seeing you laugh out loud with happiness that you're back home.
I am hearing your laugh and feeling my heart expand with the pleasure your laugh gives me.
I am remembering driving around in the car together, singing along to the radio.
I am feeling happy and there's a smile on my face as I think about us driving and singing!
I am feeling close to you, heart to heart, no matter how many miles are between us.
I had gone from "I miss" to "I wish" to "I am." When we speak in the present tense, using the words "I am," we activate our being. "I am" ignites a creative power within ourselves that is tremendously healing and nurturing. When we use this technique of translation we learn to soothe ourselves and maintain connection with our loved ones, no matter where they are.
Remember, start with the genuine feeling of "I miss you" and make a list. Then translate your list into what you wish. Next choose to be in the present moment with "I am" sentence constructions. Stay connected with the person you miss and we build your relationship through specific examples of what you love about being together. This positive appreciation actually brings you closer, builds trust and intimacy, and will surprise you with how much easier it is to be parted, whether for a day, a week, or even facing a death . Love is an eternal bond which can never be broken. Try this better way of saying, "I miss you" and let me know how it goes.
© 2011 Amy TorresAll rights reserved worldwide
Amy Torres is a Gestalt psychotherapist and a yoga teacher. Her work is sometimes described as shamanic psychotherapy or energy psychology. Her work, The Yoga of Psychotherapy, is a synthesis of many teachings, ancient and contemporary. The result is an intuitive method of emotional healing through body awareness which develops an integrated, empowered sense of self. Amy's private practice is based in New York City. She is available to lecture and lead workshops worldwide. For more information go to www.amytorresacim.com