The Magic Visor : A Goal-Setting Story

What did the visor and box of Kellogg’s Corn Flakes have in common?

The box of Corn Flakes had a picture of Cinderella, the new Disney animated version. My number one creative project right now is “being in a committed, conscious relationship.” In the fairy tale of Cinderella, “How did Prince Charming find his soul mate?” By traveling around the kingdom trying on the magic slipper to see who it fit.

I don’t have a magic slipper, but I do have this magic visor. On it reads the words, “Celebrate! Inner Child,” with a child-like figure, smiling, playing. “That’s quality of magic I want in a soul mate, someone with a playful inner child,” I thought smiling.

“What if I took my magic visor on my next trip to Salt Lake City? I’d try it out on all the women I meet, to see if it fit?” I wondered.

On tape, I was listening to Earl Nightingale talk about the secrets of successful people. He was speaking about Abraham Maslow and his research on self-actualized people. In a nut shell, he said that successful people “never run out of a want list.” They have an uncanny ability to get what they want and move on to the next “want.”

The question arose, “What would I do after I got what I wanted?”

I pondered this. If I found my soul mate, then what?

Well, then I want to have a child. Then what?

Then I would want to know how much money it costs to have a child so I could start budgeting. Then what?

Then I would get into better shape. I would lovingly stretch and prepare my body for the degree of love making that I wanted to experience in the new partnership. This last “want” was particularly important for me because of what happened to me in my last relationship. After the wonderful lovemaking 2, 3 or more times a day for a month, I threw out a disc in my lower back and damaged a sciatic nerve in my right hip and leg when I tried to help move a washing machine. I wasn’t about to have this happen again.

I noticed that by focusing curious attention around “Then what?” the grip I had around my goal – finding my soul mate – loosened up. I was tired of thinking and working so hard and seriously to manifest her. It just wasn’t happening. I could manifest everything else in my life, but this one eluded me.

Now, I was traveling to teach some genius courses in Salt Lake City. If my number one creative project was a relationship, then I wanted to use this experience, this play, this trip, these classes to support me in getting what I most wanted.

“If you deliberately plan to be less than what you are capable of being,” Maslow told his students, “then I warn you that you will be unhappy for the rest of your lives. You will be evading your own capacities, your own possibilities.”

What if this is it? What if there are no do-overs?

I told Megan, who was co-facilitating the genius courses with me, what was coming up for me. She said excitedly that it would be outrageously fun to bring this “Then what?” exploration into our classes. I also shared with her a second what she called “weird” want that I had. I was placing curious attention around something that was difficult to do on my own at home – discover how recycle the old tops to my electric tooth brushes. “Would you like an easy way to do that?” she asked. “Sure,” I replied. “Put them in our recycling bin.”

“Toothbrush recycling. Check,” I blurted, as I put a check-mark in the box next to this “toothbrush recycling” on a makeshift “want” check list I just made up.

“What do YOU most want, Megan?” I asked. “I’d like to add your wants and top creative projects to my checklist and support you,” I said, pen in hand. “Well, I would like to manifest an easel for our classes,” she said after some thought. “Easel for classes”… I wrote down on our check list. “Would you like an easy way to manifest that?” I asked. “Sure,” she said, her eyes bright and sparkling. “Let’s ask when we meet in class tonight. I’m guessing that someone has access to an easel,” I suggested. Sure enough, that was the case. Several participants raised their hands, and one agreed to bring his in the next day.

“Easel manifestation . Check.”

Megan’s number one creative project, though, was to “find her life purpose.” “That’s what I really want,” she said, almost jumping out of her skin in glee at the prospect.

I wrote this on my check list. “Find Megan’s life purpose.”

I told Megan that I had just heard Nightingale speak about the importance of “surrendering to” your life purpose.” I told her that I had a story that “your purpose is looking for you as intently and passionately as you are for her.”

I wanted what Megan wanted for herself strongly. And, you know what? At 3 a.m. the next morning, I found it, I named it. “I think your life purpose, Megan, is to midwife people’s life purpose.” When Megan tried on her life purpose for herself forthe first time, she lit up. Her excitement was palpable.

“Find Megan’s life purpose. Check.”

Now, it was my turn.

On a break during our genius course on Saturday, I was feeling very emotional, wanting space for myself. I allowed my “be by myself” thoughts to be interrupted by Megan’s shouting from across the room, “Ah, Philip. You’re going to have to adjust this visor size. It’s too big for all the women.” She was trying my magic visor on women in the room to see if it fit. Someone added, “It does fit the guys, though.”

Hmmm… A guy as my soul mate.

Well, actually a handsome and talented man in the group had expressed that what he wanted most was to find his soul mate, too. He was gay. Maybe I was secretly gay and didn’t even know it. Hmmm… Nah, that wasn't it.

After lunch, I was walking back with my gay-guy-soul-mate-finder-buddy, when a cute woman stopped us in front of the entrance to the building. “Who is teaching that class upstairs?” she asked.

“I heard you guys upstairs laughing. You sound like you’re having so much fun. I’m in this serious relationship class downstairs, and I would much rather be upstairs with you. What is the workshop about?”

“It’s about discovering and expressing your true genius in the world. I’m having a blast,” I said smiling.

“When’s your next workshop?” she asked.

“You can check my website for a schedule of dates,” I replied.

“Do you have a business card?”

“Sure. It’s upstairs, if you want to follow me,” I said.

As we entered the room, Megan and some of the group were dancing up a storm in the middle of the room. Megan had my magic visor on, backwards.

When I introduced our new friend to her, she said something like, “Oh, I’m wondering if you’re Philip’s soul mate. Here, try on the visor.”

Soul mate. Magic visor. I could tell the woman was perplexed. I imagined that she didn’t know what she was getting into.

“Looks like it’s too big,” I said jumping in quickly, hero-ing her. “Megan’s helping me find my soul mate, and she’s trying on the magic visor fits to see if it fits you.”

She jumped right in the middle of the dance, and we welcomed her with the sacred bun-dance. (Sacred… yeah, right)

Then, the afternoon part of our class started up. At an important juncture in the course, a participant unlocked an important aspect of her genius code. It had something to do with her owning her sexuality and getting a big a-hah that she had found her soul mate… inside her.

I felt the impulse to do something. I got up from where I was sitting, walked over to the chair where my magic visor was, picked it up, adjusted it to fit me, put it on backwards, and smiled.

The group roared with applause.

“Find soul mate. Check.”

There is a story of a group of ancient beings sitting around a sacred circle, trying to decide where to hide the key to the secrets of the universe. “The key is very powerful. We must put the key to happiness and power in a place where no one will find it,” they said.

“Let’s put the key at the top of the mountain,” said one wise elder. “Noone will be able to get it there.” “Yes. This is a good idea,” they agreed. But, as they talked, they realized that one day people may muster the courage and harness the technology to climb to the top. The key to happiness and power was not safe there.

“What about putting it at the bottom of the ocean,” suggested another elder. It will be safe there.” “Yes. This is a good idea,” they agreed. But what if a flicker of a glimmer made its way to even the darkest deep, and the key was noticed by a fish, who ate it, only to be caught by a fisherman. The key to happiness and power was not safe there.

After a long discussion, the youngest of the elders finally raised his hand. “Ah, I know where we can hide the key,” he said shyly. “I know a place where no human will ever imagine to look.”

“Please tell us,” they replied, having exhausted all ideas.

“The place where humans will never ever imagine to look for the key to the secrets of the universe… is… inside themselves.”

I didn’t feel like typing up my story, like I usually do. I decided, instead, to record my magic visor story on my little MP3 recorder.

I was settling into the hot water when the phone rang. It was Lisa, a woman who wanted to get together, but whom I had never met or spoken with.

I began to tell her about my magic visor with the inner child logo on it and how I wanted my ideal soul mate to have playful inner child qualities. She laughed, a playful child-like laugh, in fact. “I used to lead inner child workshops in Colorado,” she blurted.

“Would you be willing to meet me for lunch and allow me to tell my magic visor story,” I asked. “Sure,” she said. In the back of my mind, I envisioned meeting her, telling my story, recording it on my MP3 recorder, and at the end asking her to try on the magic visor. I wondered what she would do, how she wouldreact.

What if landing on my soul mate being inside me had opened space for a soul mate to appear in front of me in the form a woman?

Excitedly, I grabbed my magic visor and recorder, headed to where we were to meet for lunch.

At the end of telling her the story, I took the magic visor off of my head and handed it to her. “Does this fit?” I asked, containing my excitement.

She took the magic visor, adjusted it to fit her head, and slid it around backwards, with a big, playful smile and gleeful eyes.

- THE BEGINNING -