When are YOU not really YOU?

What a strange question to pose… When are you, not you? When the time is taken to really ponder this simple question, all kinds of ideas might surface. “I’m not really me when I am working a job I hate”, I’m not really me when I go home to spouse I don’t love (anymore)”, I’m not really me when I agree to helping a friend, who’s better off helping themselves”, I’m not really me when I lose control over my children –or- a bad habit – or a bad relationship”.

GUESS WHAT? If any of these answers came to mind, you are right. You are not really YOU, when you live your life out of alignment with the true you. DUH, right?! Everyone knows that…

So why is this important, if you, upon occasion take on something (or someone) that you know (or eventually know) are not good for you? What’s the big deal if you make decisions for your life based on your needs… and not your wants? “I need more money, I need someone to care for me, I need to feel useful, I need ‘this’ at this time in my life”, I need to appear in control, I need, I need, I need”. It’s only important if you are looking for an inspiration to improve your life’s content. And if you are reading this coach’s ideas and other articles or books like it, you are looking for an answer to either - feeling stuck, unhappiness and even depression . Fear not, my worthy aspirant; the answer lies within you and only needs illumination to take full form. Illumination in the form of objectivity and perspective, which will guide you without fault, out of the ‘stuckness’ you are feeling.

What I am talking about is self-awareness. Self-awareness is an honest and objective look at who we are as a means to decide the life that truly suits us. And over time, keeps us empowered to change and evolve when change and evolution is warranted. An acute awareness of what makes us tick is the secret passcode to your best, happiest, most productive life. So why want and not need? Need requires us to compromise and often forgo altogether our true identities. This keeps us guessing at what’s expected of us and causes the loss of energy, inspiration and self-worth. Without self-worth, happiness is not possible. If nothing else, please remember that.

A healthy understanding of our wants requires our full attention and accountability for who we are in this life. Accountability just means that we are each responsible for the quality of our lives, and when we seek validation from others via relationships or commitments, we forfeit our right (and ability) to create the life that is best for us with every choice we make. Another thought worth remembering - Our own self-worth can only be self-defined.

So how can we expect to be happy when our happiness is defined by others? Know thyself and know the path to true, unwavering, ever present… happiness .

Oh yeah, one more thing. Happiness is not the absence of pain and struggle. But the ability to accept that change can be painful, and that’s okay as long as the pain results in a new understanding, a new, more holistic perspective and improved self-love… growth - and does not result in regret, emotional regression or more need.