Articles from Dr. Neill Neill | Selfgrowth.com
- ***The Support Group Groupie
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Submitted on Sep 02, 2011 from Dr. Neill NeillMutual support can be a double-edged sword. Joining a support group can lead to renewal, likening it to pressing the REFRESH button on life. However, a support group can also keep you stuck pressing the REPLAY button and hearing the same thing over and over. The picture of your life can get out ...
Views:2110
( 2 votes) - ***When are you old enough to have people stop telling you how to live your life?
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Submitted on Aug 25, 2011 from Dr. Neill NeillFirst off, let me be clear I am not talking about living outside society’s rules and expectations. If you shoplift, run a grow-op, drink and drive, smoke in the presence of others or abuse your family, there will always be people telling you how to live; there is no age limit… Growing ...
Views:1968
( 2 votes) - ***Effective Communication: Listening Vs. Complying
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Submitted on Aug 25, 2011 from Dr. Neill NeillLately you’ve been finding yourself stewing about how you’ll handle your last child leaving home, and you need to talk with your husband about it. You start to tell him what you’re feeling, but his eyes glaze over and he tunes you out. You wonder how it came to this and if it’s fixable? You ...
Views:2507
( 1 vote) - ***Can a Functioning Alcoholic Be Affected by One Drink?
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Submitted on Aug 25, 2011 from Dr. Neill NeillWe normally associate alcoholism with increased tolerance to alcohol. Alcoholics often are able to drink a great deal before the usual symptoms of intoxication kick in — slurred speech, falling asleep, getting loud, poor balance, and poor judgment which could lead to and accident or a DUI ...
Views:2362
( 3 votes) - ***The Functioning Alcoholic Is Your Husband
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Submitted on Aug 12, 2011 from Dr. Neill NeillYou both enjoyed a drink when you were first married. But unlike your drinking, his has increased over time. In fact it has become an integral part of everyday living for him. It has become a familiar part of your life too, because you worry about what is happening to him and to your ...
Views:2625
( 2 votes) - ***The Dangers of a Relationship with a Narcissist
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Submitted on Jul 15, 2011 from Dr. Neill NeillIn Greek mythology Narcissus was a handsome, proud man who disdained those who loved him. He fell in love with his own beautiful reflection in a pool, and because he couldn’t stop looking at it, he starved to death. Narcissists have a great deal of resistance to change, basically because they ...
Views:2645
( 2 votes) - ***When Is a Marriage Beyond Help?
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Submitted on Jun 30, 2011 from Dr. Neill NeillOne time in a land far away a client asked me if I could help her save her 15-year marriage. Her husband was threatening to leave her, was stonewalling and was generally emotionally cold, but she said he was willing to see me. I worked with him for several months, and they stayed ...
Views:2450
( 3 votes) - ***Can the Functioning Alcoholic Last?: Part Three
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Submitted on Jun 30, 2011 from Dr. Neill NeillThere is a third critical factor to bear in mind when questioning the functioning of a so-called “functioning alcoholic.” The first factor to consider was whether the alcoholic is functioning generally in life, or just in one aspect of life, like his job. The second factor was whether the ...
Views:2783
( 2 votes) - ***The Functioning Alcoholic and Achievement: Part Two
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Submitted on Jun 17, 2011 from Dr. Neill NeillIn The Functioning Alcoholic: Gaps in Functioning I argued that doing one’s job is not one’s only function in life. For the alcoholic to consider himself to be “functioning” he has to function in various areas of life, not just on the job. In Can the Functioning Alcoholic Last?: Part Three I ...
Views:1829
( 1 vote) - ***The Functioning Alcoholic: Gaps in Functioning? Part One
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Submitted on Jun 03, 2011 from Dr. Neill NeillAs drinking and driving becomes less tolerated, many communities have volunteer programs, as well as paid services, to get people home safely if they’ve been drinking and shouldn’t drive. Their existence is a reminder that parties, family gatherings, weddings and other celebrations push up ...
Views:2191
( 2 votes) - ***Five Silly Ideas That Can Hurt Your Marriage Relationship
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Submitted on Apr 29, 2011 from Dr. Neill NeillSome of the old notions about marriage relationships, often stated as wise truths by our grandmothers, are still floating around and are still doing damage. One of my grandmother’s favorites was “Never let the sun set on an argument.” Silly idea number one: never go to bed angry. I ...
Views:1473
( 1 vote) - ***Anger Issues: What makes me Angry?
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Submitted on Apr 20, 2011 from Dr. Neill NeillAnger is a normal healthy emotion, albeit a negative one. We all have anger issues at one time or another. When you experience anger, it is your body trying to tell you something is wrong, that “something is rotten in Denmark.” But what? Not understanding your body’s message can lead to ...
Views:2078
( 3 votes) - ***Learn to Take Responsibility and Avoid Marital Problems
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Submitted on Apr 08, 2011 from Dr. Neill NeillVolumes have been written on the importance of taking responsibility. Some of it is psychological, some of it legalistic and much of it moralistic. This article is about taking responsibility for your own emotions, with a focus on marital conflict. An argument typically starts over something ...
Views:1730
( 1 vote) - ***Thrivers, Survivors and People in Recovery
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Submitted on Mar 29, 2011 from Dr. Neill NeillWe meet people everyday who have recovered or are in recovery from a major life changing event. Some deem themselves as survivors, and some just positively live their lives looking forward to the future (a thriver). What are the differences between a thriver, a survivor and a person in ...
Views:1618
( 1 vote) - ***Is Neediness Part of a Healthy Relationship?
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Submitted on Mar 29, 2011 from Dr. Neill NeillAs you contemplate entering a committed relationship, the greater your neediness, or his, the more likely codependency, dysfunction and disappointment will follow. Focus on what you want, not on what you need. I once knew a woman who as a teen dated a man in his twenties. He had a strong need ...
Views:1690
( 3 votes) - ***Marriage Stress, Blame and Alcohol
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Submitted on Mar 17, 2011 from Dr. Neill NeillLife is full of events that lead to personal distress. And stress can build upon stress which can lead to marriage problems. If one of you drinks to reduce stress, in time the drinking itself causes stress and becomes a major roadblock to solutions. Quite naturally, you look around to see ...
Views:3126
( 7 votes) - ***Alcohol Addiction Treatment: From Twelve Steps to One Step
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Submitted on Mar 17, 2011 from Dr. Neill NeillIn the 1950s and 60s most adults in North America smoked cigarettes or other tobacco products. We thought nothing of it. However, increasing research evidence of tobacco health risks began to overpower the tobacco industry’s portrayal of smoking as safe and cool. As the evidence mounted, ...
Views:2115
( 4 votes) - ***Can You Stop Drinking Alcohol on Your Own?
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Submitted on Feb 25, 2011 from Dr. Neill NeillSam has been charged with impaired driving twice. He drinks every weekend and he drinks a lot. His wife and other family members report that his personality changes when he drinks and he becomes mean. The next day he can’t remember much of what happened when he was drinking. For a long time ...
Views:1776
( 4 votes) - ***An 'Addictive Personality'- The Alcoholic's Convenient Myth
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Submitted on Feb 25, 2011 from Dr. Neill NeillPeople addicted to alcohol drink compulsively and often claim to have an addictive personality. It is a convenient myth. I heard of a dentist who approached his dental work with compulsive attention to detail. His crowns had to fit perfectly. He was fanatical about bite adjustment and his ...
Views:3808
( 3 votes) - ***Change Your Life Whether You're a Functioning Alcoholic or an Overworked Mom
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Submitted on Feb 25, 2011 from Dr. Neill NeillWill You Use this Key Step to Change your Life? Commitment is one key to losing weight, getting in shape, learning a new skill, finding your soul mate, getting a better job, learning a new language, running a marathon, going back to school, drinking less, spending time with your kids or ...
Views:2146
( 12 votes) - ***Alcoholic Neuropathy: Signs and Symptoms
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Submitted on Feb 25, 2011 from Dr. Neill NeillRecently a reader left a question on my site about the symptoms of neuropathy. Her question was, "What is alcoholic neuropathy? I have heard the term and am interested in understanding it." She went on to add the comment, "It is just amazing when you read the comments from other people, and ...
Views:2375
( 3 votes) - ***Your Relationship Comes First
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Submitted on Feb 10, 2011 from Dr. Neill NeillRelationships are the heart and soul of our society. If our relationships with others were to disappear, most of us would feel all meaning slipping away from our lives. Our husbands, our wives, our children, our parents and extended family, our co-workers and our friends help to create what we ...
Views:4732
( 7 votes) - ***The Functioning Alcoholic and Marriage
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Submitted on Feb 10, 2011 from Dr. Neill NeillI recently received an e-mail from a woman who believes her husband is a functioning alcoholic. Joan (alias) recently took the Alcoholism Test and then emailed me. Although a few details are changed or left out for privacy reasons, Joan began with: "I was researching functional alcoholism ...
Views:8172
( 3 votes) - ***You’re Married to an Alcoholic: What to Do? What to Do?
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Submitted on Feb 10, 2011 from Dr. Neill NeillBeing married to a functioning alcoholic can cause many problems in a family. Tens of thousands of families in North America alone are struggling with this issue. A drinking problem can begin in many ways. For some people it begins with social drinking. Social drinking can gradually ...
Views:4691
( 5 votes) - ***How Much Alcohol Is Too Much? The Facts Might Surprise You
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Submitted on Feb 04, 2011 from Dr. Neill NeillJackie asked me how many drinks could her husband have in a day before she should worry. She says he drinks three or four beers in the evening on work nights and a lot more on weekends when he doesn't have to go to work the next day. She thinks he may be a functioning alcoholic. Kevin worries ...
Views:2201
( 3 votes)
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