Articles from Pat LaDouceur | Selfgrowth.com
- What it Really Takes to Get Good Grades (and it’s Not about Being Smart)
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Submitted on Sep 01, 2016 from Pat LaDouceurIf you’ve ever wondered how to get good grades, maybe something like this has gone through your mind… I’m not good at languages. History isn’t my thing. I’m not a math person. I often hear comments like this from my clients when they’re explaining a low test score or struggling with a ...
Views:1553
- What it Really Takes to Get Good Grades (and it’s Not about Being Smart)
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Submitted on Aug 23, 2016 from Pat LaDouceurIf you’ve ever wondered how to get good grades, maybe something like this has gone through your mind… I’m not good at languages. History isn’t my thing. I’m not a math person. How to get good grades I often hear comments like this from my clients when they’re explaining a low test score ...
Views:1365
- Anxiety in Women: The 5 Most Common Symptoms
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Submitted on Aug 18, 2016 from Pat LaDouceurAnxiety in women is different from anxiety in men. Overall, women report more anxiety. Women are 60% more likely to be diagnosed with an anxiety disorder. Women also face different stressors, because they have somewhat different life and work challenges. Womens' biggest stressors are money ...
Views:1803
- Anxiety in Women: The 5 Most Common Symptoms
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Submitted on Aug 18, 2016 from Pat LaDouceurAnxiety in women is different from anxiety in men. Overall, women report more anxiety. Women are 60% more likely to be diagnosed with an anxiety disorder. Women also face different stressors, because they have somewhat different life and work challenges. Womens' biggest stressors are money ...
Views:1577
- End Procrastination Around Homework: A 3 Minute Strategy for Teens
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Submitted on Jul 01, 2016 from Pat LaDouceurThe Homework Bottleneck Do you wish sometimes that there was a simple way to end procrastination around homework? First, take a minute and ask yourself which of these scenarios sounds more like your teen? Both students have the same class and homework assignment. Student 1 walks in the ...
Views:1382
( 1 vote) - End Procrastination Around Homework: A 3 Minute Strategy for Teens
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Submitted on Jul 01, 2016 from Pat LaDouceurThe Homework Bottleneck Do you wish sometimes that there was a simple way to end procrastination around homework? First, take a minute and ask yourself which of these scenarios sounds more like your teen? Both students have the same class and homework assignment. Student 1 walks in the ...
Views:1346
- End Procrastination Around Homework: A 3 Minute Strategy for Teens
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Submitted on Jul 01, 2016 from Pat LaDouceurThe Homework Bottleneck Do you wish sometimes that there was a simple way to end procrastination around homework? First, take a minute and ask yourself which of these scenarios sounds more like your teen? Both students have the same class and homework assignment. Student 1 walks in the ...
Views:1269
- 3 Ways to Help Your Teen Manage School Stress
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Submitted on Jun 01, 2016 from Pat LaDouceurMost teens (83%) say that school is a significant source of stress in their life. Here's how you can help your teen manage school stress... For teens, stress looks like this: Getting to school late -Feeling irritable -Feeling tired a lot -Crying a lot...or snapping at you -Leaving ...
Views:1415
- Neurofeedback for Anxiety: How Does it Work?
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Submitted on Apr 05, 2016 from Pat LaDouceurWhat's possible with neurofeedback for anxiety? Imagine you're driving through the countryside on a beautiful day, but your car isn't working. The gears keep getting stuck, and the gas pedal is jammed down. It's pretty scary. When you can't shift gears, you can't respond well to the bumps ...
Views:1427
- One-Minute Stress Management Tools: 5 Simple Ways to Keep Your Cool
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Submitted on Feb 02, 2016 from Pat LaDouceurStress can help…to a point Stress management tools are part of your early warning system. Feelings of tension alert you to things you need to take care of, so you can move on to more important things, like getting your work done and having fun with your kids. When your early warning ...
Views:1310
- Are You a Secret People Pleaser? [quiz]
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Submitted on Dec 02, 2015 from Pat LaDouceurWhat would happen if you said Yes to everything you were asked to do? You might end up in one of these situations: •Damitri had a to-do list of over 70 items, and he felt like he was always disappointing someone. •Amie spent almost a third of her workweek dealing with email, and worried ...
Views:1741
- Where Complaints Come From
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Submitted on Nov 10, 2015 from Pat LaDouceurLet's start with what counts as a complaint. If you tell your doctor about your headache, for example, that's not a complaint. That's because there's a good chance your doctor can help. So here's the definition: a complaint is talking about something you don't like to someone who can't ...
Views:1069
- How to Manage Emotional Risk So You Can Get Outside Your Comfort Zone
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Submitted on Aug 06, 2015 from Pat LaDouceurWhat would you love to do that you’re not doing yet? One of my clients, Melanie, wanted to wanted to inspire her colleagues by sharing her approach to teaching students to write. But, she asked herself, what if someone asks a question I can’t answer? Or what if the projector fails and I have ...
Views:1146
- Top 10 Questions about Neurofeedback
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Submitted on May 06, 2015 from Pat LaDouceurAs a board certified neurofeedback practitioner, I've helped clients make significant changes in their lives for the past 5 years using the tool of neurofeedback. Recently, with publication of Bessel van der Kolk's new book, The Body Keeps the Score, my office has been getting a flurry of ...
Views:1558
- What's Wrong with Being Busy?
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Submitted on Apr 10, 2015 from Pat LaDouceurTwo different clients recently asked me this question. On the surface, their stories were very different. Janel is a dedicated stay-at-home mom who spends a lot of time cooking from scratch and volunteering at her children's schools. But she barely has time for a morning shower, let alone a ...
Views:1223
( 1 vote) - Mindfulness for Busy People
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Submitted on Mar 07, 2015 from Pat LaDouceurElizabeth knew that something was wrong at work. She was being interrupted during discussions, ignored in conversations, and excluded from meetings. She didn’t have a clue what it was about, but the stress of not knowing was undermining her confidence. Elizabeth felt confused, ...
Views:1344
- 3 Ways to Know If You’re Saying Yes Too Much
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Submitted on Feb 10, 2015 from Pat LaDouceurLife is full of opportunities. There’s work of course, or school if you’re a student. There are chores, and errands, but also workout time, evenings with your family, organizations you want to support…so many things you can take part in. But if you end up saying yes to all of it, then before ...
Views:1456
( 1 vote) - What's YOUR Biggest Challenge for the New Year?
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Submitted on Jan 06, 2015 from Pat LaDouceurIn the past month I've been checking in with my clients about how far they've come and where they want to go next. We've been focusing on what matters to them most as they look forward to 2015. Aleesha is looking for meaningful work. She tells me that education jobs are scarce, and indeed ...
Views:1458
- 3 Simple Shifts for a Stress-Free Holiday: A Busy Person's Guide
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Submitted on Dec 06, 2014 from Pat LaDouceurThis time of year, you'll find quite a few articles about having a stress-free holiday. A quick search on Google brings up almost 63 million. First, you'll find generalities: ● How to avoid overwhelm: be realistic Blog_Art_1028a_Holidays ● How ...
Views:1162
- The Truth About Stress
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Submitted on Nov 06, 2014 from Pat LaDouceurStress has a bad rap. Stress can create problems, to be sure. Some of the more common ones are include difficulty concentrating, trouble with focus and memory, moodiness, frustration and overwhelm. There are physical symptoms as well – low energy, headaches, trouble with digestion, aches ...
Views:1427
- The Fastest Way to Boost Your Mood
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Submitted on Oct 05, 2014 from Pat LaDouceurDo you ever feel stressed out about the demands of day-to-day life? My clients Ava and Leo were doing their best to balance high-pressure jobs with the needs of two school-aged kids and time for themselves. Their work got done, and well. But the number of tasks they juggled every day made ...
Views:1370
( 1 vote) - The Key to Overcoming Procrastination
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Submitted on Sep 03, 2014 from Pat LaDouceurHave you ever put off a task that you just didn’t want to do? Procrastination can be frustrating. If this happens just once in awhile, it’s probably not an issue. But if procrastination is a way of managing stressful situations, it’s a real problem. When you procrastinate, things pile up. You ...
Views:1967
- Antidote to Busy: 5 Simple Ways to Find Time for You
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Submitted on Aug 06, 2014 from Pat LaDouceurEly was excited about his new job. He’d spent a year looking, and found what he wanted – interesting work, good pay, friendly people. Perfect, right? But Ely had also increased his responsibility, added a long commute, and decided that he wanted to make a fabulous first impression at work. He ...
Views:1360
( 2 votes) - Drifting Apart and How to Reconnect
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Submitted on Jul 05, 2014 from Pat LaDouceurDrifting apart “We’re drifting apart,” Sara said during our first meeting. Her husband, Daniel, agreed. They got along well enough, but lived more like roommates than a married couple. It’s not just couples who drift apart, of course. Friends lose touch, colleagues move on, children forget ...
Views:1393
- Does Worry Wake You Up? 5 Simple Ways to Help When You Can’t Sleep
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Submitted on Jun 02, 2014 from Pat LaDouceurI can’t sleep,” Shelly said. “I mean, I don’t have much trouble falling asleep. But then I wake up at three in the morning and can’t get back to sleep.” For Shelly, it started with a combination of a fast-paced job and the hormonal changes of pregnancy. While those things started her insomnia ...
Views:1491
- How to Say No to People You Care About
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Submitted on May 02, 2014 from Pat LaDouceur“I want to learn how to say No so it doesn’t turn into an argument,” David said. He’d been married about two years, and came to my office asking if I could help him learn to talk with his wife “without getting so upset when we disagree.” “I’m fine doing things her way most of the time,” he ...
Views:1667
( 1 vote) - Fear of Heights – Story of a Rock Climber
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Submitted on Apr 07, 2014 from Pat LaDouceurJoe was afraid of heights. He could have just avoided heights, as many people do. The trouble was he also loved them. Joe was a rock climber. It’s surprising how many rock climbers are afraid of heights. It takes them longer than other climbers to learn new techniques or get used to new ...
Views:1726
- 5 Ways to Stop an Argument in Less Than a Minute
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Submitted on Mar 03, 2014 from Pat LaDouceurThe trouble with arguments is that they don't work. I'm not talking about a good debate, where you have some great ideas, and they clash, and you start a healthy back-and-forth that feels fun. I mean arguments – where tension starts to rise, responses start to get personal, and you go around ...
Views:1568
( 1 vote) - Can Neurofeedback Make You Smarter?
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Submitted on Feb 04, 2014 from Pat LaDouceurWouldn’t it be great to be able to perform your best when it really matters? Consider these situations: 14-year-old Luis wants to finish his math assignment, but spends all morning in class staring out the window. 13-year-old Kayla loses her homework almost every day. It’s usually at ...
Views:2146
- Anxiety-Free New Year's Resolutions
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Submitted on Jan 11, 2014 from Pat LaDouceurAnxiety Free New Year’s Resolutions The new year is only a day old, and my client Wendy is looking at her list of resolutions. They’re the things she’s focused on every January for the past three years – more exercise, better eating habits, more accomplishment at work, more patience with her ...
Views:1339
- Can Neurofeedback Help Musical Performance?
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Submitted on Dec 03, 2013 from Pat LaDouceurEmilia was a jazz pianist who wanted to break into the Bay Area performing scene. Her roadblock was performance anxiety. A small technical mistake would get her wondering whether anyone in the band, or the audience, noticed the mistake. The resulting physical tension made it harder to ...
Views:1820
( 1 vote) - The Trouble With Compromise
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Submitted on Nov 05, 2013 from Pat LaDouceurHolidays are supposed to be meaningful, relaxing, and connecting, but they’re often stressful. It’s easy to get caught between travel, family obligations, your own wishes, and tricky negotiations with significant others. If you try to do it all and make everyone happy, it can feel like you’re ...
Views:1954
( 1 vote) - Insomnia: What to do When Pills Don't Work
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Submitted on Oct 04, 2013 from Pat LaDouceur“I can't get enough sleep,” James told me. “I had some medication, but it doesn't seem to work anymore.” It's a common problem. About 30% of the U.S. population reports having trouble sleeping in a given year. About 12% of those turn to pills, and fill about 60 million prescriptions ...
Views:1647
( 1 vote) - What We Fear More Than Death
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Submitted on Sep 11, 2013 from Pat LaDouceurYou've probably heard that public speaking is feared more than death itself. It sounds crazy, but that's what people say. Is there any truth to this? Certainly the vast majority of people rank fear of public speaking as number one – 75% according to the National Institutes of Mental Health. ...
Views:2388
- Are You With the Right Partner?
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Submitted on Aug 06, 2013 from Pat LaDouceurAm I with the right partner? As a couples therapist, I've been asked this question a lot. The couples I see are usually frustrated, and often for good reason. They've tried to solve relationship problems by talking, by not talking, by changing their behavior and by not changing it. ...
Views:1575
( 1 vote) - Motivation: What to do When You Don't Feel It
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Submitted on Aug 06, 2013 from Pat LaDouceurOne of my clients, Janae, wants to start a new exercise program this summer. “I'm out of shape,” she said. “I know I have to do something. But how do I get motivated?” Another client, Miles, has a big test coming up, but he puts off studying. “I have the time,” he says, “but not the ...
Views:1163
- Three Ways to Stop Worry and Anxiety
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Submitted on Jun 04, 2013 from Pat LaDouceur3 Ways to Stop Worry Sofia wanted to stop her worry – worry about her job, worry about whether or not her husband will be laid off, worry about the news and the kind of world her kids will grow up in. She can worry about the past or the future, big things or small – whether she volunteers ...
Views:1395
( 1 vote) - Take Back Your Time: How to Reduce Overwhelm in a Few Minutes a Day
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Submitted on May 01, 2013 from Pat LaDouceurResearch shows that re-thinking how you use the small moments of extra time in your day might be better for you (and less expensive) than taking a big vacation. Recently I spoke with Jenny, a client of mine who is a working mom, who said, “I need time for myself, but there isn't enough time in ...
Views:1883
( 4 votes) - How to Ground Your Fear of Flying
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Submitted on Apr 05, 2013 from Pat LaDouceurImagine you've just won a dream vacation to an island in the Caribbean. You can almost smell the fresh, salt air. White sand and turquoise ocean spread out for miles in front of you, sprinkled with coconut and palm trees. You're staying in a small cottage on the beach, listening to the soft ...
Views:1499
( 2 votes) - Test Anxiety - When Your Mind Goes Blank
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Submitted on Mar 06, 2013 from Pat LaDouceurBrian, one of my clients and a high school senior, had a serious problem with tests. He did his homework. He even helped other students. But when he walked into a test, his mind went blank. All those lectures, readings, and practice problems vanished from his mind. He would start to ...
Views:1800
- Relationships: Keys to an Effective Apology
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Submitted on Feb 04, 2013 from Pat LaDouceur"All I want is an apology." Even with the best of intentions, it's easy to mis-step. You're a few minutes late. You forget to bring home the radishes even though you promised. You get frustrated and raise your voice. You kick off your shoes by the door and someone trips over them. You ...
Views:1280
- Do We Need Anxiety? Thoughts for Entering the New Year
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Submitted on Jan 14, 2013 from Pat LaDouceurRemember the last time you listened to a great piece of music? For some pieces, the music gradually increases in intensity until it reaches a crescendo, the loudest or most exciting part, and then resolves. As the music builds and fades, so does your own feeling of excitement. A crescendo is ...
Views:1386
- The Science of Love Part I: Calming the Hurricane
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Submitted on Jan 14, 2010 from Pat LaDouceurI love Rich," Diana told me during our first session. "But I don't know if we can stay together. The arguments we have are too painful. The wounds are too old and deep." "And I love Diana," Rich echoed. "And respect her. But we see the world completely differently. That's just how it is. ...
Views:1435
- Get Through the Holidays with Humor and Grace: Four Strategies for Couples and Families
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Submitted on Nov 19, 2009 from Pat LaDouceurAre you looking forward to a relaxing holiday? Have you made plans that fit your unique values, needs, and energy level? Or do you feel pulled by the needs of friends and family, swept into the consumer rush, or tantalized by images of perfect holiday bliss and feeling like you can’t measure ...
Views:1391
( 1 vote) - Does Marriage Counseling Work?
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Submitted on Sep 17, 2009 from Pat LaDouceurThe short answer to this question is a resounding “Yes!” Dr. John Gottman spent forty years researching how couples create close, lasting relationships and what it takes to turn a distressed marriage around. Using his approach, Gottman Method Couples Therapy, 85% of couples were able to ...
Views:2118
( 2 votes) - The Relationship Dance
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Submitted on Sep 17, 2009 from Pat LaDouceurA dance teacher once told me that she could see a couple's entire relationship on the dance floor. When someone's toes got stepped on (and they did - we were all beginners) - she could see how how some people blamed their partner, while others apologized and let it go. Some stopped the lessons ...
Views:3186
( 1 vote) - Different Styles or Money Problems? Here Are 5 Ways for Couples to Tell
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Submitted on Sep 17, 2009 from Pat LaDouceurMoney is one of the leading topics of marital arguments, and it’s not surprising. We each have a money style – a collection of feelings, beliefs, and behaviors that we learned from our parents and other significant people in our lives. When two people make a commitment together, these money ...
Views:2129
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