Three Ways to a Happier Life

As you begin reading this article and contemplating your own life, I’m sure you can think of many ways to create a happier life. What I’d like to share with you here are three ways that I’ve learned over the years. These lessons have not always been easy or (emotionally) painless but they have served me well and I hope in sharing they will do the same for you.

To create a happier life we must first understand that happiness cannot come from any source (person or thing) outside of ourselves. Our materialistic society along with clever marketing has given people the false belief that purchasing one more gadget, one more pair of shoes, a new car or just the right furniture will provide the ‘fix’ needed to ensure happiness . Of course, we’ve all tried this way to fulfillment in one form or another over the years but in the end our garages and basements that overflow with stuff tell us of the futility this path leads us to. Anyone that has been excited by the next ‘bright shiny object’ knows that the shine wears off quickly and the wanting, longing, yearning soon begins again.

The only road to true happiness is created within each one of us. This is the cause of many of people’s problems; when they feel disconnected and lost in the vast sea of the outside world they don’t allow themselves to be quiet long enough to be in touch with their own inner self, which is the only place where true happiness can come from.

The second way I’ve found (and am still learning in some ways) is that you can never please everyone, no matter how hard you may try. When the decision is made to release this ‘need’, life becomes much easier and runs far more smoothly. It gives a new sense of freedom from old patterns since this ‘pleasing’ is taught from a very young age. We must please our parents, our teachers, our siblings, our spouse, our children and our neighbours. We must please our boss, our colleagues; our clergy…the list goes on and on. Ultimately, the only person we can please is the one that looks back at us in the mirror.

Don’t get me wrong here, it’s fine to possess honourable qualities that other’s respect, such as honesty and integrity but in the constant effort to please everyone else people usually end up displeasing themselves. I don’t recall who spoke it but I heard a wonderful quote once that said, “Betrayal of self is betrayal after all”. In other words if we displease ourselves to benefit others we are in essence taking away from our own life’s energy.

The third way to a happier life (in my experience) is to honour everyone's path through life even if it's different than you think it should be. This is especially true for parents and other family members that may try to manipulate children to do what they desire (i.e. live vicariously through their children) rather than letting the child live his or her own life. Understand, that I’m not speaking here of people with young children. I’m referring to people with older teens, college students and even grown children with families of their own. This honouring of other’s paths also applies to people of different cultures, religious beliefs and social order. Until we walk a mile in another person’s shoes we have no idea what their journey has been like, what struggles or trials they may have endured. Learn to be kind, compassionate and respectful of the path that others walk and that path will lead you to a happier, more peaceful life.

Remember the way we view our life and our own personal situation is always a matter of perspective and that perspective can always be adjusted and revised based on the choices we make.