The Audacity of Expectation

One of our presidential candidates (Barack Obama) wrote a book entitled: The Audacity of Hope. If you are feeling down and things look bleak, hope tells you, “This, too, will pass.” Hope tells you that things can get better. Yet, when we hope that things will turn out for our best interests we make ourselves dependent on some future that has not yet arrived. In Journey of Love, Alan Mesher wrote: "In doing so [hoping], we surrender our power to something that does not yet exist." Audacity is boldness. Expectation, in this sense, is to know without knowing how you know. It is that clear inner sense that all is well regardless of how things currently look or feel. To move forward with confidence into the unknown is the audacity of expectation.

Perhaps it can be audacious to hope when there seems to be no visible answer or opportunity. The problem comes when we rest on hope. If I am hoping things will get better, I am betting everything on the future. I hope I win the lottery. I hope more business will show up. I hope an illness will end soon. I hope my child can do better in school. I hope to find my ideal relationship, or that my present relationship will become more ideal. Hope, in this sense, tells me that something needs to come into my life or go out of my life in order for me to be fulfilled.

The kind of hope that has you waiting for something to happen is not audacious at all. Hope without action sets you up for more stress. You keep hoping things will get better and they don’t. Then you start feeling hopeless. Hope must give way to expectation. Expectation is accompanied by a persistence and a willingness to do whatever it takes to move forward. Expectation is an inner confidence that says that all is well, yet we don't necessarily know the details. Regardless of not knowing specific outcomes, we move forward with confidence. We do what is before us to do.

Recently we had winter visitors in our kitchen -- mice. I discovered them when our dishwasher leaked. They had chewed the hose. Having a daughter who loves animals, I didn’t want to kill them. I bought some live traps. After a few unsuccessful nights with the live traps I thought, “These don’t work.” I hoped I would catch a mouse, but I really didn’t expect to catch any. So one morning I opened up a trap and a mouse jumped out and ran away. I learned my lesson. Over the next two weeks I expected to catch mice; I took effective action; and I caught seven mice. We are now mouse-free.

My experience with the mice is reminded me of the tendency of many people to hope without expectation. Hope without expectation brings us a future that is a repetition of our current difficulties. When our hopes aren't realized we tend to blame others, blame certain conditions (It's the economy!), or blame ourselves. Blame leads us into the downward spiral where we feel powerless. In our hope we told ourselves that it was supposed to happen. In our disappointment we blame whoever or whatever stopped it from happening. The key to expectation is action. The key to action is confidence. The key to confidence ishaving the boldness to believe in you.

How do we find this place where we believe in ourselves; where we can experience that inner clarity that fuels the audacity of expectation? We find it NOW! Bring your thoughts into this moment. Stop thinking about the past. Stop wishing about the future. Appreciate that you are here, alive, right now. Appreciate that you have come to this life fully equipped to find fulfillment, joy, and a sense of purpose. Stop judging yourself. Stop comparing yourself to others, and do stop worrying about what others think of you. When you find yourself judging, blaming, wishing, or feeling inadequate, stop and look at your thoughts. Notice how your thoughts are making you feel.

When you stop and notice how you are feeling, you come to realize that you are not your thoughts; you are not your past; you are not your hopes; and you are not what others think of you. You are the one who is observing these thoughts and feelings. When you stop and observe the way you are thinking and feeling, your thoughts and feelings have less power over you. You recognize that there is nothing that you need in order to be okay. You are already okay. If you can appreciate your being alive, the beautiful feeling of experiencing life in all of its colors, sounds, smells, tastes, and textures--if you can feel LIFE moving through your body and appreciate that--you will see that joy and fulfillment come from within. We are each already complete as we are.

With that sense of completeness we can set a goal and move toward it with the audacity of expectation. We say to ourselves: "I expect to succeed, and whether I do or not; I'll be okay." If you want to find that ideal relationship, learn to be happy all by yourself. Now you aren't needy. Not being needy, you are more attractive to other confident persons. If you want to make a sale, expect to make the sale. You know that you may not succeed, but you expect to succeed. You know that whether or not you make the sale, you'll be okay. This makes you less selfish. Now you are confident enough to truly help someone. Your unselfish intent to help is attractive to potential buyers.

If you want to connect with people, whether they be your family , your friends, your coworkers, or your customers, expect to connect. Unconcerned about what they think of you, yet deeply concerned for their well-being, you will build strong relationships.

Go into the silence often, through prayer, or meditation, or contemplation. Whatever you think you want, you already have. Appreciate it. Appreciate the abundance you already have. Appreciate the love you already have. Appreciate the wellness you already have. Speak your gratitude . You may have a tendency to focus on what you don't have. Accept that you have had this tendency. Now look past it with a sincere intent to notice what you do have. You may notice what is imperfect about another person. Accept your thoughts and look past your images of other people. Make it your intent to see their greatness. You may have a tendency to focus on what's wrong with your body. Accept these thoughts, and look past them. Can you see the miracle of your body?

In any situation that you have, what healthy possibilities can you see for yourself? What actions can you take right now to get closer to that vision? Are you willing to do whatever it takes to move forward? The audacity of expectation is about living with confidence. It is about living your life right now and doing what life asks of you right now. It's about listening to your intuition and following its lead. It's about trusting your well-being to a Higher Power, knowing that this Higher Power is your Source. When you know that you are sustained by something greater than your own personality, greater than the inconsistencies of the world, you can approach life with audaciousness.

Whenever you tell yourself that something has to happen, or that someone has to be a certain way, you make that situation or that person your god. You are saying, this person or this situation is your source. Let go of unrealistic hopes and trust in the present moment. Find time to be silent and connect with your Higher Power. It is in this present moment where you are sustained and guided forward. Begin each day anticipating miracles , and make it your intent to appreciate every miracle you witness. Whether or not external situations or people change, your joy and your well-being will come from within you. You will take positive action propelled by the joy that is already within you.

William Frank Diedrich is a speaker, executive coach, and the author of three books. Contact him at bill@noblaming.com for questions about speaking or coaching. Bill often speaks before leaders in organizations to assist them in developing leadership, creating great customer service , and building individual and organizational confidence. He has just released his new CD, The Leader's Edge: Three Keys to Exceptional Leadership