The Twin Factor: Double Trouble or Triple the Rewards?

When twins aren’t on equal footing in any area of their lives, the ground beneath them can start to collapse, along with their emotional stability, especially for the one lagging behind. If you’re part of a dynamic duo or belong to a family with twins, you know by now that as one twin grows faster than another or becomes stronger in any area, the self-esteem of the other can suffer.

For twins, the burning question is how do you follow in your sibling’s footsteps when you were under the impression that you’re supposed to be walking together? According to enlightened author, Beth Rosen, a twin herself, the trick is not to follow in your twin’s footsteps but to make your own imprint on this earth. The most important thing for twins to realize is that they are unique individuals with unique gifts that compliment each other. As soon as they realize this, they can let go of the fact that one is not as good as the other in one area. Jealousy, resentment and envy will take a back seat and sibling rivalry will naturally be replaced by even stronger bonds of friendship .

Here are some tips she recommends for a family with twins:

1. Find the unique gifts each twin has and help them to realize how special they are because of them.

2. Treat them as twins and as individuals because they are both.

3. When one develops faster than the other, remind both of them that height and might do not make one superior.

4. Don’t slow one down or stunt their growth so the other feels better. Instead teach them how to help each other when one can’t do something so they both continue to grow.

5. Let them know they can have as many of the same friends as they want. They can also have different friends.

6. Let them know they do not have to get the same grades in school or do the same activities.

7. Remind them they are the luckiest siblings in the world because they will always have each other. They can be best friends forever.

8. Just because they fight doesn’t mean they don’t love each other.

9. It’s okay to dress the same or dress differently, so long as they’re comfortable.

10. If one twin’s self-esteem is suffering, direct them to their strengths and guide them to do the things that make them happy, regardless of what their twin is doing.

11. Remind them that no matter what they think is going on between them, it’s love that ties them together.

Twins are ultimately magically. They have a psychic connection that most siblings don’t have and when they use it, they’re likely to be on the same page and create happy endings for all involved. When twins get along, they are a bundle of joy and can spice things up. Double trouble can easily turn into triple the rewards when they bring you into their world of fun-filled magic.

As a tribute to her mom and to capture her early days of being a twin, Beth Rosen wrote and illustrated a children’s book about twin bear cubs and their momma bear entitled, “Bear With Me.”