The Price of Love

Lament of Loss
“The time we had spent with someone.
The time we know, we are never going to get back.” (Muhammad Mohsan Zaki)

May the Blessings BeOh this is sad and so true - I wonder why we spend so much time hoping when the other has made it so clear that they don't want you. And yet we do. A very sad aspect of life, or perhaps it is to our credit if we have good thoughts and wish the best for them. If only if should become may the blessings be.

Stages of LossIn a relationship break down – there are a number of stages.

Stage OneThe first stage is perhaps our need to tell them what we had hoped they had done that they have not done. That actually makes the break up worse but then after that we should wish them well.

Perpetual Love StageWe should wish them well because if you truly loved you will love them forever and we should wish a loved one well.

Always Easier Said than DoneYes it is easier said than done but it is best for them, for you and the world. The good or bad news is that you may think of them for the rest of your life. So many times the what ifs come in but try to crowd them out with good thoughts and good wishes for the person.

Why the Love Should RemainWhen we offer love sometimes it is rejected but if we really feel the love why should we turn it to hate or to something that is not nice.

Proof of LoveThe proof of true love is that we continue to love no matter what.

Unreturned Love
While it may mean that we never get that person's love hopefully in time, at the very least, they will realize that there was someone in their lives who truly loved them.
If we believe in God, and if we honour God then we should work to do this. It is not easy but it is one of the challenges for us. Really it is not easy and there will be good days and not so good days but do we must. Also sometimes we may even be back to square one when the flood of emotion takes over us but we must seek solace at that time by saying to ourselves - yes I truly loved and cared.

Why Love is Never a Sure ThingLove is never a sure thing because some people only love what we do and not what we are, so when we cannot give exactly what they want then they don’t love us any more (according to their definition of love). However, do you really want to keep on buying their love? Well I can’t answer that question for you but you need to think whether that price of love is worth it. You may think it is and are prepared to pay it.

How Deep is Your Love?
I don't think it is to do with naivety totally – I think it is to do with how deeply you felt and the commitment you made. When the other stops loving or perhaps makes it clear they never loved, the other can't just stop if they themselves truly loved. I am not saying the person stays depressed for the rest of their life. In fact by continuing to love even though it is now at a distance one can avoid the worst days of depression , which is why I say continuing to love is good for you, them and the world.

What We WantedLoving is what we wanted to do anyway, so there is no harm continuing to love. I cannot talk for the Muslim world, only the Western world and in the Western world I think there is nothing worse when I meet someone and they tell people they don’t love their former partner any more, or worse they hate their former partner. How can love turn to hate? If it does then it was a very conditional type of love and probably no better or true than the one who no longer wants anything to do with you.

Forgiveness
I think this approach also helps in the process of forgiving too. If you continue to love then it is easier to forgive and in forgiving you will find a form of peace towards the situation.