We've all heard of the importance of positive thinking , affirmations , visualizations, and having dreams . But often these goals feel somehow so amorphous, that sometimes it feels a little like"hoo ha", doesn't it? Here's the key: if you make it just a mental exercise , it is ineffective. It's not hoo ha, it just doesn't work as powerfully as when you go beyond the mental.
When you attach a feeling to what you want, it taps into a different part of your brain and spirit, and (without getting too technical) you get the message that this change is a good thing. When you associate change with something positive, you're more inclined to do it. If it feels painful to change, we tend to run in the other direction.
A good example - as always! - is dieting. The thought of "giving up" sugar can feel daunting. But, when you start associating the positive idea of how good you will feel, how healthy your body and brain will be, the more inclined you are to avoid the sugar, instead of feeling deprived.
Our brains do not embrace change, because it makes us nervous. I've said it before: change feels out of the ordinary (uncomfortable) and even dangerous to us. We like our ducks in a row, and while we theoretically might like the excitement of change, we tend not to like the reality of change too much.
Yet we yearn for change. How ironic is that? We want something different, but we're afraid to DO something different.
So I'm going to give you a challenge: decide that just for today, you are going to do one thing differently to get a different result. Write out a list of why you want to do this thing differently, and what the results will be. Start writing positive associations with the change you want to make, and include being proud of yourself for doing something in a new way.
Now, what I'm about to tell you might seem contrary, but it's not. Here goes: at the same time that you do something in a different way, it's important to love "what is" in your life. When you stay in that love vibration, you will start to attract more to love in your life. It works pretty magnetically. You can love what is, because it got you where you are and taught you some valuable lessons. You can also let go of habits that no longer serve you.
I suggest you be as objective as possible in this part of the assessment. You can and hopefully will feel love, of course, but try not to feel any bitterness, resentment, or anger toward a situation you want to change. Why? You are actually putting more energy on the very thing you want to be different, and then you lose the positive emotional vibration to create positive change.
So, step into the extraordinary, the different. Start to leave your fears behind (or at least behind you!). And each night before you go to sleep, create a mental list of all the things you did today that make you feel proud, happy, blessed and loving the growth.
As Heather Small says, "It's never too late to try... What have you done today, to make you feel proud?"
There's no time like today...
Teresa M. Goetz is a Transformational and Spiritual Coach, Acupuncturist and Chinese Herbalist, who has spent her career helping women realize their potential at all stages of life. Her work has paralleled her own personal experiences and includes specialized work in all women's major life stages, including pregnancy, child birth, parenthood/ mothering, partnership/ marriage, divorce, and middle life.
Teri gets enormous satisfaction from watching women grow into who they truly are meant to be. She creates and holds a safe space for her clients so that they may turn personal crises, like divorce, into defining moments to transform their lives. She helps women achieve clarity and confidence, and then breathe fresh air into their futures.
Teri speaks and writes about women's issues and health, works with clients one-on-one and offers workshops for women.
She is the mother of 2 daughters, step mother to a son and daughter, and married to a wonderful man!