Self-Transformation: Five Steps to Being the Person You Want to Be

There was a time I can remember when some people used to wear bracelets with the inscription “WWJD”? This question, "What would Jesus do?", was designed for its wearer to be reminded to act in a way he or she valued and wanted to emulate. This provided a path for Christians but what about those who didn’t believe?

Now, anyone can ask themselves a similar question: “What would I be doing in this situation if I were being the person I want to be”? You no longer have to compare yourself to the son of God. Simply craft a vision of the person you want to be.

It is very similar to the process companies go through when deciding their vision, values and mission. We do it in companies, why not in our personal lives as well? What is your vision of the person you want to be? If you were being your best self, how would you behave?

What are the guiding principles and values by which you choose to live your life? If you are an adult, you no longer have to live by the values of another. You get to choose the ideals you want to emulate in your private life. What will they be? Kindness? Success? Wealth? Fairness? Friendship ? Power? Loyalty? Competition? Cooperation? Respect? Honesty? You get the idea. Decide the values you will use to guide your life. Values become the measurements of how you make your decisions. They aren’t just nice to use when all things are going well. Your values are the tools you use to help you decide what to do in every situation. How can you know what to do if you haven’t identified your highest values?

Here is the process of self-transformation:

1. Develop your own true north. Know your values, the path you are on and the steps necessary to stay true to your beliefs and direction. Write out your vision statement for your life and determine your life’s purpose.

2. Identify supporters and detractors. Surround yourself with your supporters and limit or eliminate time with detractors.

3. In every situation, ask yourself the question, “If I were being the person I want to be in this situation, what would I be doing”? Access your values and higher ideals to answer this question.

4. Assess the likely consequences, both positive and negative, and prepare for those consequences.

5. Line yourself up and act in the way you would if you were being the person you wanted to be.

There will likely be saboteurs along the way. You will have strangers, friends and enemies alike who don’t want you to succeed. When you lead your life by values instead of situations, others may not appreciate your new direction. You have changed and are no longer the person they want you to be. In systems theory, when you change one part of the system, the entire system must adjust to compensate for the change. Those around you may not want to change, thus they are invested in keeping you just the way you are. Watch out for this kind of external sabotage.

The second kind of sabotage comes from within. Self-sabotage can be your worst enemy and it requires your constant, alert, conscious attention to overcome it. The scientific truth is that as we develop certain behaviors under certain circumstances, our brain creates neural pathways which cause us to behave in the same manner under similar circumstances unless we constantly pay conscious attention to what we are doing and we make different choices. We need to override our default brain chemistry in order to do something differently. If you are serious, you must be vigilant. Getting an accountability partner, a coach or a mentor can help you overcome self-sabotage.

Enjoy your transformation to becoming the person you want to be.