What to Do When it All Falls Apart: 8 Tips From Personal Experience

Whether you're feeling trauma from recent losses or are experiencing grief in the aftermath of past events, know that you can and will get through it. Following are pointers from first-hand experience .

Having experienced personal and professional losses within a relatively short period of time, the world as I had known it went inside out and upside down. Functioning was moment-to-moment. Anything more would have been too much to ask.

I once read that the miracle of coming through shattering adversity, by grace as much as anything, is that somehow one does eventually regain their center - most likely with an added dimension of wisdom and empathy for others. As is said, you can't really understand another person unless you've "walked the walk."

Whatever heartache or despair you may be experiencing, imagine a steadying presence and gentle arm around you. This presence is reminding you to be kind to yourself and go slow. From the expanded perspective of All That Is, the present moment is all that exists. Rather than resist what has happened, let this moment be what it is, where it is.

When losses and related grief come into your life, it often brings up many old issues. If you are feeling intense emotions, allow yourself to be with them. While they may feel at times as if they'll swallow you up, they won't. You're stronger than that. When you allow yourself to fully feel the emotions, they will lessen and fade. Slow, deep breathing will help move emotional energy through you. Doing this several times, or as it feels comfortable, will help you calm yourself.

Know that the Intelligence that is within you will guide you forward in a way that is right for you. This may be through bringing just the right person into your life to help you along, messages that speak to you such as this article, or something you notice in your everyday life.

The nature of the universe is love and growth, therefore change. Circumstances have ultimately come to you for the purpose of your own evolution. While it may be very painful to experience the conditions that bring about change, know that growth requires exchanging old ways of being for the new.

When you are able, ask yourself what you're learning from your experience. When you can begin to answer this, you will be well on your way to moving beyond current difficulties and obstacles.

Remember:

• Be gentle and patient with yourself and go slow

• Don't resist what is happening

• Allow yourself to fully feel your emotions, whatever they may be

• Breathe

• Become aware of the ways you are being helped

• Be patient with your progress

• Consider talking or listening with others in a support group

• As time passes, reflect on the wisdom you have gained

When working through what is, versus what was, know that one day it will naturally occur to you that you are reflecting on your past experience from a viewpoint of new-found wisdom and inner strength.

©Copyright 2010 Catherine Lenard. All rights reserved.