Relationships Part One

In no other arena do we struggle or triumph more passionately than in relationships.
A Gift in My Life
My friend Nel is a woman whom I can never forget. She is bright, funny and very excited about energy work—a part of my life that is very important to me. It really pleased me that she was in tune with my work and liked to share the healing energies. She practiced Reiki and was a certified hypnotherapist. The problem was, she would disappear periodically, even when we had made plans. I would feel that it was a personal rebuff and stop calling her. Eventually we were back on the phone, but I was getting tired of the cycle.
One evening, while talking with my friend Sudie, who teaches A Course in Miracles , she told me that this lady was a “gift” in my life. “She is there to teach you forgiveness ,” she said.
“Yikes!” said I. “Another teacher? Can’t someone just be a friend? Why do people need to upset me so that I can learn something?”
Sudie explained:
“Once you understand forgiveness , no one will need to teach it to you anymore.”
With a deep sigh, I agreed to go home and meditate on this subject. As I did, I realized that if, as I believe, love is too great a subject for humankind to grasp in totality, is not forgiveness an aspect of love? Maybe it could be called the practice of loving. Wouldn’t that make forgiveness similarly profound? It was time for deeper insights into forgiveness.
There comes a time and place where we need to simply believe that these ideals exist and are attainable for every one of us. I concluded with the following thought:
The opposite of forgiveness is resentment. Resentment is always linked to suffering.
With this firmly in mind, I was prepared to face my meeting the next evening with the disappearing woman (assuming she showed up). I was willing to practice forgiveness regardless of her behavior —so I wouldn’t need more lessons!
“What happened?” you ask. Nel asked me three times: “Can you forgive me?” In disbelief I returned the gift, “Yes,” I said.
I wanted to forgive, but really, I did not know how to forgive. I was practicing forgiveness— now I would need to live this valuable concept as my reality. I decided for the first step, I would need to be willing to forgive.
Do you want to know the instant results! She and I became good friends and all resentment disappeared.
I have since learned the joy of applying the power of forgiveness to overcome all kinds of hurt and resentment.
We are all part of a beautiful, unfolding Universe. Why not look into the face of another and see the beauty that exists within, instead of focusing on the masks of personality and appearances? We need to consider how much love and compassion we are willing to impart.
Are we willing to release and let go of the need to be a victim long enough to love and forgive others and ourselves?
Is anyone really unforgivable?
In a case that seems too difficult to forgive, we can begin by being willing to forgive. Is not forgiveness the act of letting go of the past and allowing ourselves to be grateful in the present moment—free of bitterness?
A bumper sticker read:
Forgiveness means giving up all hope of a better past.
Perhaps it could read:
The past is gone but bitterness is a choice.
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