To enjoy happy, healthy relationships you need to know how to reach people.
Reaching someone occurs naturally; it’s an organic process.
Difficult people are not necessarily unreachable. It just requires more patience and skill for building relationships with them.
When you attempt to communicate with someone you may find an open, pleasant “circuit” that seems to effortlessly link the two of you.
When this happens, it means that you and the other are “ripe” for relationship building or for a pleasing communication experience.
Just as ripe fruit comes off the vine without effort, “harvesting”another person’s understanding, agreement and cooperation happens easily with the relationship is “ripe” for it.
Ripeness for smooth communication means that what you have to say and the other person’s receptivity meet at a peak level.
But in other instances you may come up against a feeling of struggle and strain, a feeling of a broken relationship rather than a building relationship.
Just as the need to struggle to pluck fruit indicates that the fruit is not yet fully ripe, relationship conflict or struggle indicates that for whatever reason, the relationship is not yet ripe for the particular kind of cooperation that you are seeking.
A sense of disconnect is not necessarily a sign of a hopeless relationship – it is often just a sign that a more patient approach to relationship building is called for.
As it is wise to delay harvesting fruit until it has ripened on the vine, avoid impatient pushiness to force you want from your relationship.
Resistance is often an indication that you are attempting to make something happen faster than the natural ripening process permits.
If fear drives you into perpetuating a power-struggle against another person, you are actually in a relationship conflict with the organic ripening process and end up reaping the bitter fruit of butting heads.
To reach people successfully, avoid a self-defeating struggle against nature’s timing.
Instead of becoming pushy, ease up. When you feel relaxed, calm and secure, consider small, easy steps you can take to gradually build your relationship along a path of minimal or no resistance.
For more ease and success in communication and relationship building trust in and cooperate with the natural pace of the ripening process.
* Author, Seminar Leader, Motivational Speaker, Consultant ( www.wisie.com ) ( www.boblancer.com )
* Host of the WSB Radio Show Bob Lancer's Answers, focusing on the challenges of parenting, marriage and personal / professional development.
* Motivational Speaker for Large and midsized companies, associations, government agencies, schools, hospitals, youth groups and other organizations
* Child Behavior Expert of WXIA TV News (Atlanta's NBC TV affiliate)
* Host of Atlanta's Radio Disney show Ask Bob (helping kids deal with their issues)
* Featured Parenting Expert in local and national media
As a public speaker, seminar leader and consultant for over 25 years, Bob Lancer has been inspiring audiences around the nation and overseas, and setting them on a more direct and fulfilling path to total life-success, with his empowering insights and strategies.