To be in charge in child-parent relationships, parents will find great help by practicing a calm, confident, and loving in-charge attitude .

Too often the parent acts as though the child needs to behave in a way that proves the parent is in charge for the parent to express that attitude .

When children behave in ways that cause the parent to feel out of control, helpless, powerless and even somewhat victimized, the parent demonstrates a need to develop a more resilient in-charge attitude .

Demonstrating a genuine attitude of being in charge when your child is NOT cooperating with you represents one of the most helpful parenting skills to develop.

The quality of your relationship with your child, and how your child behaves, represent, at least in part, conditions that you have manifested.

We manifest the conditions of our lives through what we do, think, feel, and say.

To manifest more order, harmony and cooperation in child-parent relationships, the parent needs to function in particular ways.

Your attitude plays a huge role in the conditions that you manifest.

An attitude that expresses helplessness manifests conditions that reflect that state of helplessness.

To experience the positive results of in-charge parenting , guide your own attitude before attempting to guide your child.

You have to feel in-charge to demonstrate the parenting skills that actually place you in charge.

Rather than allowing your child’s behavior to direct your attitude, use your attitude to help you to successfully direct your child’s behavior .

Attitude projects an invisible, but significant influence on child discipline.

By maintaining the attitude of confident leadership in child-parent relationships, parents can often lead their children to behave well without any additional effort.

The more insecure you feel in your relationship with your child, the more your child will very likely behave in ways that reinforce your insecure feelings.

Cultivating a non-threatening, kind yet confident attitude of being in charge represents an aspect of the EMOTIONAL dimension of parenting skills.

Like any other skill, this one develops through exercise .

The non-threatening nature of this attitude is essential because causing a child to feel threatened:

* Is cruel
* Undermines the self-confidence and self-respect the child needs to behave well
* Expresses the parent’s underlying fear of being out of control – which manifests undisciplined child behavior

In-Charge Parenting Guide: Remember that a genuine expression of being in charge is calm, relaxed and self-assured.

One way to boost your in-charge attitude is to look for the ways that your parenting is working.

Many of us have a habit of focusing on the disappointing results of our actions.

By looking for the ways that you are doing a great job as a parent, you reverse this self-sabotaging pattern and discover what a great job you are doing and that will bolster your in-charge attitude.

Look for how your child is doing wonderfully. Look for how wonderfully you are doing as a parent. This practice helps to develop the self-confident attitude that empowers parents to manifest more and more wonderful results in child-parent relationships.

Author's Bio: 

* Author, Seminar Leader, Motivational Speaker, Consultant ( www.wisie.com ) ( www.boblancer.com )
* Host of the WSB Radio Show Bob Lancer's Answers, focusing on the challenges of parenting, marriage and personal / professional development.
* Motivational Speaker for Large and midsized companies, associations, government agencies, schools, hospitals, youth groups and other organizations
* Child Behavior Expert of WXIA TV News (Atlanta's NBC TV affiliate)
* Host of Atlanta's Radio Disney show Ask Bob (helping kids deal with their issues)
* Featured Parenting Expert in local and national media
As a public speaker, seminar leader and consultant for over 25 years, Bob Lancer has been inspiring audiences around the nation and overseas, and setting them on a more direct and fulfilling path to total life-success, with his empowering insights and strategies.