How To Reduce Shyness While Speaking: How To Stay Calm In Social Situations

How To Reduce Shyness While Speaking: How To Stay Calm In Social Situations

Social shyness is a problem that afflicts many. If you've ever felt nervous at parties, weddings, or similar then you have some insight into just how difficult social shyness can be to come to terms with. Any apparent, or perceived failure in making friends, holding conversation or something similar means that your social shyness is re-inforced and it can lead to a damaging, re-inforcing circle.

What can you do to stop constant anxiety and fear? Is it possible to stop panic attacks without medication?

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The answer is to try and become less absorbed in yourself and more interested in the other person - not easy to do if you are worried and are sweating, but bear in mind these ideas.

The most important of all is to try and be genuinely engaged by other people. Make sure you ask about them, their interests and hobbies and make a conscious effort to store and memorise the detail. Ask open ended follow up questions that will allow them to talk. For most people, the most fascinating topic is themselves - and if you have social shyness you'd much rather chat about them than you, and how tough you are finding the whole process of just being at a social engagement. It's a win win for both parties!

So try and have less of "I" in your conversatIon.

The other thing you can do to improve your social shyness and anxiety is to do some focusing elsewhere. Try imagining what it would be like to have a great time, to feel energetic than nervous, or to hold a really interesting chat with somebody. These visualisation techniques beforehand can certainly help and will hopefully work, eventually, on an unconscious level.

One final tip - try doing some preparation in having topics you can talk about. Check out newspapers, or Google Hot Trends for what's "hot" right now and get some thoughts together. It will all help you focus on something other than your social shyness.

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"Hello all- I've got a problem with social anxiety ; I get very tense when speaking with damn near anyone, stranger, friends and even my family ... Occasionally, though, I'm able to completely relax and be really quite sociable, although not consciously... I also do some door to door sales, and it really hurts my ability to sell when I'm completely tense and forced, obviously. It seems the main point in most every article or piece of advice is to "just get out there". But I've done this, and done this, and done this. It doesn't matter how many doors I knock, how many parties I go to, how many times I visit w/ my family , it's always the same. And I'm tired of it..."

Does this sound like you - or ring a bell? This person - who recently wrote this, asking for help in a blog, is describing a very common problem all over the world - overcoming social anxiety. Social anxiety is not simply shyness - but more like fear, but not exactly fear. Fear is when you know exactly what you are afraid of. Anxiety is what you feel when there may be a threat. Social anxiety is when you are anxious and not comfortable around people because of the threat of what might happen.

Just thinking about these social situations can make someone become frightened and anxious if they are dealing with overcoming social anxiety. They will then go out-of-the-way to avoid these situations, even at great cost.

With social anxiety, there is an underlying fear of being judged, becoming a public embarrassment and being scrutinized. You may have fear of what people will think of you and that, in comparison with other people, you will not measure up. You may feel you will be laughed at for making some social mistake or not responding in just the right way.

A lot of people who suffer from shyness and social anxiety are extremely self-conscious and are very self-critical. This also stems from irrational thinking. You have the choice to change your thinking if you choose to. Logically you know that these negative thoughts are not true, so don't buy into them.

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Social Anxiety is largely about feeling "overwhelmed." The feeling of being overwhelmed is what pushes people into limiting their life to a greater and greater extent, until they find themselves living in a very small world indeed. But it doesn't have to stay that way. Understanding that your Social Anxiety is REALLY about feeling overwhelmed can help you to gradually begin making changes to eliminate it.

What steps can be taken in overcoming social anxiety? There are many approaches - but some of the most empowering lie within you. Here are a few common-sense approaches that you may find really are the key to your success:

Take tense situations in small doses. When you approach a situation that you know will make you feel tense and anxious, depending on how long you can handle it, start out by only staying in the situation for a short time. The timeframe is up to you - whether it be for only 1 minute - or 15 minutes. Deliberately approach anxious situations knowing that you will only be there for your allotted time (set by you, of course).Then - slowly increase the time to 5 and 25 minutes (or whatever works). Don't push it! It may take months and months to do this, but it doesn't matter. Take all the time you need. Remember this phrase, "Nothing succeeds like success." This means that success builds momentum and leads to greater success. This is particularly true with overcoming social anxiety. It is very important that you continue to have good social interaction that does not overwhelm you. It does NOT matter how long the interaction is; all that matters is that you get through it without any strong negative feelings. DO NOT push yourself too hard. You don't have to!

There are many other tips and approaches, but these are a nice beginning - and may actually solve your problem! As long as you realize that it is not hopeless, that you are responsible to change yourself, you can be a victor in overcoming social anxiety. Don't forget to affirm yourself along the way!

Set yourself up for positive interactions. We started this article out with an example of person who did try to "get out there" and found it really hard. So... when facing long events such as family reunions, holidays, going to people's homes etc., you may want to assess the situation ahead of time - and determine how much time you'll spend there - and with whom. The goal is that you set yourself up for positive (short) interactions with individuals (at first), not large groups. At large group meetings - try to find individuals to link up with - not address the whole group at once. By repeated positive interactions over a long period of time, you will enjoy your social interactions more, and find yourself overcoming social anxiety little by little.

Step out of your comfort zone. Now this does not mean that you have to do anything drastic. Start to become willing to accept change. You must be willing to change your thoughts and behaviors if you want to be rid of this problem. This way you are limiting your anxiety - instead of letting your anxiety limit you. You can start stepping outside of your comfort zone by doing little things. Try to see if you can break a ritual you have. We all have some kind of daily routine that we have. If you park in a certain parking space every day, try parking somewhere different. Try speaking to people in a line at the store - or at a park, dry cleaners, hair dresser, etc.

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Reward yourself!When you do something difficult, such as making a telephone call or going to a meeting, immediately reward yourself. Setting up a reward system can really motivate you and keep you on track (Starbuck's coffee, going out to lunch, etc. - fill in the blank).

Be prepared physically - before approaching difficult situations. In other words, don't smoke, drink, use caffeine, and do get enough sleep and exercise routinely. Make sure that you check with you doctor to find out if you have a physical problem (such as hypothyroidism, or diabetes) that may affect your sugar level, or metabolism - which can lead to generalized and social anxiety.

Don't anticipate trouble. What if this happened? What if that happened? The more you think about something, the more you will attract it. It is time to stop focusing on all the things you don't want to happen, as this will not help you overcome social anxiety.

Have a positive mental picture. From now on, start focusing on what you DO want to happen. Write down how you imagine your life without social anxiety. Get it down on paper to turn it into a goal, rather than a mere fantasy floating around in your head.

Do something completely unexpected. Whenever you feel yourself slipping back into that horrible feeling of being anxious, do something you might consider crazy (or not "you" at all). This may startle you out of your negative thought pattern into thinking happier, more positive thoughts. Make it a "win-win situation. In other words, instead of rehearsing over and over what went wrong, make it a learning situation - to help your success in the future. Allow yourself to make "mistakes". We all do. Just get back up, learn from them - and keep moving on...

Join a therapeutic support group with people who also have difficulty in overcoming social anxiety.This setting allows you to open up about your fears and learn effective social skills to help in everyday life. However, for some this can seem counterintuitive as group settings are a trigger for social anxiety, and may be too challenging for someone just setting out to overcome their social anxiety with the standard approaches.

There are many other tips and approaches, but these are a nice beginning - and may actually solve your problem! As long as you realize that it is not hopeless, that you are responsible to change yourself, you can be a victor in overcoming social anxiety. Don't forget to affirm yourself along the way!

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The stress brought by some environmental and emotional factors is usually what makes the rise of panic disorder in our life. Once the nervous system starts to favor on one side instead of keeping its balance on both sides, we eventually begin to feel the symptoms slowly creeping into our body.

It must be understood that the nervous system is basically comprise of two functions. According to its nature, it should always be balanced all the time. However, several factors brought by a person's way of living usually cause the system to somehow go out of balance. Factors like: poor diet, lack of exercise, shallow breathing, tight muscles, stress, lack of relaxation , too much caffeine, and alcohol. Try to combine all of these factors and you will surely experience a horrific panic disorder.

Now, I guess you already realize that whatever the crisis we are facing with panic disorder. We got nothing to blame but ourselves. We will not be in this kind of situation if we have only given much importance to our health. If only we have long empowered our nerve. We surely have avoided panic attack from getting into our lives.

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Nerve empowerment, yes, you heard it right! I am sure you already saw oriental monks. Notice how calm they are. That only shows how excellently panic attack free their lives are. What is their secret? They just observe these practices religiously and seriously. The use of things like diet, fasting, breathing, relaxation , stretching, and physical exercise so that they will be able to build up strong nerves that can withstand almost any type of problem.

Well, who says this thing is just for the monks? We can actually make use of the same things to make ourselves panic attack proof. If ever you already have the panic attack, this is also good way to finally heal it.

Let us be reminded that a cooler, balanced nervous system and brain will help us not have anxiety problems or panic attacks. Here are more several, specific and powerful methods you can use.
• deep breathe;
• eat a lot of green vegetables and fresh fruit every day;
• use regular physical exercise and
• go to bed earlier and wake up earlier.

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Although panic disorder as a health problem is gaining less attention from the medical society; it must be known that this is a serious condition. What makes it a serious condition? Basically, its ability to ruin every aspect of our lives in just a single episode of attack is what makes it pretty threatening. Just imagine your work, personal and social life going down the drain because of one distressful panic disorder.

This has got to stop! I bet you are thinking of nothing but medication as one best method to end panic disorder. Let me tell you that its not actually a good idea. It could only be good for such a short term relief but if you want something that will really get you out of the hell you are experiencing with panic attack; I would suggest nothing but natural remedies or therapies. Why not?! After all these kind of therapies or remedies are the ones that surely work. You don't even have to spend a lot of money with them. All you have to do is start evaluating the lifestyle that you have been living up to all these years. Is it healthy or is it the opposite? If it is the opposite you definitely have to start changing it, now! Just like what the title of this article screams... THINK GREEN!

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Not that you must be green minded. But, it actually calls for you to reconsider the kind of diet that you are following. As you know, diet has great influence or effect to our health. It is about time that we should all think green. Be more careful with the kind of food we are eating most of the time, that is. Think green mindset towards panic free lifestyle is definitely a good move. As it could greatly help us soothe our nerves which will eventually result to a balance parasympathetic and sympathetic nervous system.

Now, how does this whole green diet go? It's just simple as A, B, C. try to remember all these things and you're definitely going to see great progress with your health. First, drink a lot of water to stay hydrated. Not to forget, eat more green vegetables, fresh and dried fruits as well as protein. Then, eliminate or reduce on coffee, soda pop, hard alcohol, refined sugar, white flour, and processed food. Lastly, fast even just for short periods; a 1-3 days juice or vegetable fast is really good.

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If you are willing to make just a few simple changes in your daily routine, you can stop your panic attacks and enjoy your daily activities again, both alone and with your friends and family. To learn how you can stop your symptoms in a couple of steps and then prevent them from ever appearing again- Click Here