Dealing with difficult people can be extremely draining on your mental energy!
And let’s face it, none of us busy working mums can afford to lose any of our energy, be it mental or physical!
So here are some tips on how to deal with a difficult person whether they are your mother in law, a colleague or a friend or anyone else you encounter conflict with for that matter
1 | Ouch, that’s hot!
Avoid ‘hot button’ topics, like religion or politics, or any other issue that could easily explode into conflict. Whenever you sense that a discussion may evolve into an argument, it’s best to change the subject or even leave the room.
2 | Snails will never be butterflies
You’re not there to try and change the other person. They are who they are. Attempts at change only lead to power struggles, and power struggles are never healthy, and will likely lead to resentful feelings, personal criticism, and heightened defensiveness. People will be even more difficult when they feel threatened. You only have power over you and how you choose to respond to others.
3 | How’d you get to be so bad?
Remember, no one in any conflict situation is totally ‘bad’ while the other person is totally ‘good.’ Everyone is flawed in some way and all relationships need some form of “give and take”. Approach others with compassion, and look past their imperfections.
4 | Seeing the positive
Even though everyone is flawed, people also possess many positive aspects, and it’s important to recognise these qualities. By acknowledging what’s right about others, they are more likely to see what’s right about you. Feeling appreciated and seen can go a long way to preventing conflict from ever happening.
5 | Making a clean break
Know when it’s time to break away from others. Minimise your contact with people who do not appreciate you for who you are; do not recognise their own weaknesses, and continually look down on others. Cut ties with those that are abusive. Sometimes relationships need to be put to rest. So let them go.
Julia is a personal coach and NLP Practitioner. She is passionate about coaching and specialises in helping working mums who are feeling stressed and shouty get to calm, confident and back in control.