Embracing Grief

Embracing grief and seeing it as part of life’s’ normal cycle of events, when dealing with life changes will assist in seeing a clearer path moving forward and dealing with the events leading you to this place in time. Remember grief is not just the result of death , but any major life changing event.
Whether the events are yours or loved ones they affect everyone associated with them. Each family member will go through a grieving process before they can move forward. By acknowledging and accepting this as part of the solution assists in family members being able to communicate with each other and acknowledge individual’s thoughts and feelings of where they are at. The most important factor is being one hundred precent honest with each other and acknowledging where each individual is at, at any given time during this process.
The Stages of Grief can be broken down into between 6-10 stages or steps depending on what information you read but all agree on the fundamental stages.
Shock and Denial This is normal human reaction to any given situation. None of us wants our normal life balance to change, we are comfortable and our ‘world’ is comfortable, the “How dare anything change that” reaction is so very normal and seen daily by many health care professionals. I am sure many of you can relate to this from many different areas of life.
Anger, Pain and Guilt Grief or accepting change in any form can be painful and this often results in anger. This anger can result in verbal and or physical manifestations depending on, age and life experience of the person affected. Many people also feel guilty it is not them or guilty it is them having this devastating effect on the whole family unit.
Bargaining Looking to a higher power, whoever that may be for you. Trying to bargain a way back to life before this event. In the cold light of a normal day this may sound ridiculous, but during this time the mind works in some mysterious ways. Remember this is all part of the normal process.
Depression and Loneliness A feeling of depression often associated with feeling of loneliness follows. This is a time the mind and body need to adjust to all that has happened, and to start to see a way forward to the future and facing life with the adjustments needed to deal with the situation. This is an important stage and should not be shaken off, we are not saying you are depressed in a form which requires intervention of a Medical Practitioner, or prescribed medication. In saying that if someone stays in this stage for a prolonged period of time then medical intervention maybe a great help. Medication can assist but should also be used with the skills of a Clinical Psychologist as well.
Acceptance The upward turn and adjusting to the loss. This is the healing stage where you can start to see life moving forward. You learn to adjust your life and expectations to accept the changes and how they now fit into your and your families lives.
Reconstruction and Reconnection This is the time family members reconnect fully with each other and all start to move forward for the joint good of the family. The person at the centre of the episode which started this cycle can now fully adjust and move forward knowing they are fully supported and loved as they were before the event.
This is just a guide to the stages for some the process may start and then loop back a number of times at any stage before finally moving forward towards reconstruction and reconnection. This is not unusual so do not be alarmed. These stages are meant only as a guide. Contact Anne if you have concerns in a specific case
We all deal with events in different ways and at different speeds depending on our own life experiences. Allowing people to grieve in their own time pays vast dividends moving forward. With everyone in agreement and fully supporting each other the way forward is far more positive for everyone concerned.