CONFRONTATION OR CONVERSATION?

One of humanity’s biggest fears is that of confrontation. So often when feeling like someone is in our face, we don’t speak our feelings and then we’re angry afterward. Our anger can then manifest as passive-aggressive behavior . But truly it’s not about dealing with our behavior or learning to speak up that’s the underlying issue – it’s what we believe about confrontation.

Impeccability of the word is the key to creating a beautiful and healthy life dream. So it behooves us to look at the word confrontation since we create our reality with the word. A common definition is: An open conflict of opposing ideas, forces, creeds, etc. When we feel like someone is raising their voice to us, disagreeing with us, getting angry or doing their best to make us feel small – we call that confrontation.

Now let’s look at the word conversation. A common definition is: An interchange of thoughts, information, etc., by spoken words; oral communication between persons; talk. Here we are referring to an exchange of ideas, it doesn’t matter if they are opposing or not – as this definition implies that the communication is non-aggressive.

What makes conversation aggressive is our attachment to concepts. When we believe that we’re right and we’re willing defend our beliefs, thought forms, points of views and opinions to the point of anger – that’s mental slavery. We’re being ruled by what we believe and anything that doesn’t align with what we believe frightens us. The structure of our ego-mind is shaking and we’ll do anything to protect that structure.

George Barnard Shaw once said; “Our ideals like the Gods of old, are constantly demanding sacrifices.” Shaw’s got a good point – as soon as you start to defend your point of view you are at war. Of course concepts cannot fight a war, only humans can, and they’re the ones who are going to be sacrificed. It’s scary to think the mind can be so attached to its beliefs that it will project its anger out at others and even harm them to protect those concepts!

Human consciousness expands when we share ideas without attachment. People die when we want to be right and protect our ego mind’s structure. When someone starts arguing with you, understand that there’s no confrontation at all – you’re simply dealing with a frightened person projecting anger, it has nothing to do with you. Confrontation can only occur when two sets of ideals are in conflict. When you no longer need to defend your mental structure the whole concept of confrontation no longer is truth.

I’m not saying you shouldn’t express your point of view in life. I am only suggesting that you share it without attachment knowing that there is nothing to be afraid of if someone does not agree with you. Have compassion for the person who is making him or herself ill defending a concept that they are so attached to. Speak your peace , detach and let go.

Truly, there is only conversation, and it is up to you to create that reality based on where you place your faith . It’s your choice – you can put your faith in conversation and uphold the expansion of consciousness or you can put your faith in confrontation and the conflict of rigidly held beliefs and points of view that you are too scared of detaching from. I don’t know about you, but I know where I’m placing my faith!

With All my love & blessings. Sheri Rosenthal

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Sheri Rosenthal DPM is a master Toltec teacher and author of The Complete Idiot's Guide to Toltec Wisdom and Banish Mind Spam!. Having trained with don Miguel Ruiz, author of The Four Agreements®, she currently takes students on spiritual journeys www.journeysofthespirit.com works with personal apprentices and enjoys being extremely happy. You can reach her at info@sherirosenthal.com or www.sherirosenthal.com and www.withforgiveness.com .
Copyright © 2002-2011 by Sheri Rosenthal DPM