Building Self-Esteem Part 1

I heard myself say it, and immediately felt the discord of the statement. “I can try, but I’ll fail.” That was the second time this week that I’ve heard myself say something to the effect of “I don’t believe in myself”, and now that I’m hearing it, I’m really committed to changing those negative thoughts.

I have a solid grasp on the Law of Attraction , of course there’s always more to learn, but I certainly know the power of my own words and thoughts, and I have known it for a long while now. Yet I still catch myself spewing these statements that are in opposition to what I really want to create. Why do we do that? I came up with some thoughts and some EFT tapping statements on why that might be. Check to see if they are part of your own vibration too and then take steps to change it and build your self esteem .

The first thing that comes to mind of course is self-doubt. Despite our best efforts to think positive thoughts, sometimes those old patterns of thinking are just too deeply ingrained. Our brains are wired, through their neural nets to continue thinking in the way that we have thought in the past. Think of it like a forest path that’s been worn smooth by years of footprints. If your dominant thoughts have been something along the lines of “I’m not good enough”, “I fail at everything I try”, “things don’t come easily to me”, then you have a strong neural net or pathway built in your brain. When you think a thought about yourself and your ability to accomplish something, the next thought will most likely take the path of least resistance through your brain and activate those old negative thinking patterns. Despair not though, we know that these neural pathways can be changed with practice and dedication to a new thought or pathway and EFT can speed up the process dramatically.

At first, it can be challenging to carve out a new path, after all it’s like the Amazon in there, and it’s going to take some time to get that path nice and smooth and wide. Another good analogy is to think of it like driving somewhere you’ve never been before. The first time you go there you have to PAY ATTENTION to where you’re going. You keep checking your map, always looking for signs that you’re going the right direction, watching for your exit and taking the proper turns. It’s not that difficult, it just requires your conscious mind to be a participant. Now imagine the 300th time you take that same trip. By now, it’s completely imbedded in your subconscious mind, you don’t have to think about it at all, and before you know it, you’ve arrived and you don’t even remember driving there. That’s called unconscious competence. Right now, you are most likely consciously competent, or at least you will be by the time you finish reading this. In conscious competence you have to exert conscious effort to change your thoughts. When you hear a thought that’s travelling along that old neural net that you want to replace with a new, more positive set of beliefs, you’ll have to stop yourself and say “that’s my old neural net, I’m creating a new neural net now that says I am good enough, things always work out for me and things come easily to me.”

If you find that those new thoughts are completely foreign to you and you don’t believe them for a second, it’s time for some EFT. To really find the root of your self-doubt it would be highly beneficial to look into your past and do some EFT on the past events or circumstances that originally taught you that you weren’t good at things, that you weren’t good enough, or whatever else is ingrained in that neural net of yours.

For example, if you were always picked last for baseball, that might have created , or at least strengthened the belief that you weren’t good enough. Maybe it was just because the captains picking the teams picked their best friends first, or maybe you really were crummy at baseball, but does that automatically mean you’re not good enough at everything and in general? No, of course not, but your subconscious mind likely made that assumption, it’s very good at making assumptions. You could use EFT to shine the light of day on all those instances when you felt that you weren’t good enough and see how the murky negative beliefs about yourself start to lift. In this way, we change the neural net VERY fast and create a new belief equally fast. I would use something like this;

“Even though I felt like I wasn’t good enough when Tommy didn’t pick me to be on his team for baseball, I love and accept myself completely.”

“Even though I’m convinced that I’m not good enough because Tommy didn’t want me, I love and accept myself completely.”

“Even though I still have that feeling to this day, and I often believe that I’m not good enough, just like I did back then, I love and accept myself completely.”

Then go through the rounds,

Eyebrow: I felt rejected

Side of Eye: I wasn’t good enough

Under the Eye: I’ve never been good enough

Under the Nose: I’ll never be good enough

Chin: I’m just a loser

Collarbone: I’m a failure

Under the arm: I’m not good enough

Top of the head: He made me feel like I wasn’t good enough

You may need to do a few rounds of that until it feels better and you start to see that this event really doesn’t need to hold so much power in your beliefs about yourself. When you get to a point where you’re starting to see that it was just something that happened and it really doesn’t mean anything about who you are now, try tapping in some positive affirmations like these.

“I choose to know that being passed up for baseball is okay.”

“I choose to know that there were reasons for that beyond the meaning I assigned to it back then”

“I choose to know that this event has nothing to do with my worthiness, my capabilities or my ability to succeed.”

Eyebrow: I want to believe that I’m good enough

Side of Eye: I wonder if I can build a new neural net

Under the Eye: I know deep down that I am good enough and I deserve success

Under the Nose: This old neural net is on it’s way out

Chin: I’m hopeful that I can feel good enough

Collarbone: I always feel good enough when I….(fill in the blank)

Under the arm: that baseball thing has nothing to do with my worthiness

Top of the head: I choose to know that I am good enough and I’m building a new neural net to that end

In part two we’ll discuss the second piece of the negative self-talk puzzle…fear of getting our hopes up and being disappointed. Stay tuned!