Abusive Relationship: To Stay or to Go, How Do You Know?

“I want to leave but I’m on the fence. My heart says one thing and my head says another. How do I make the decision to go?”

I hear this over and over and over, again and again. My answer to this inquiry is: the decision makes itself.

I liken it to the way a tie-die t-shirt turns YELLOW. Each time you dip it into the yellow die it takes on some of the color and then when you put it in the sun to dry, it fades a bit.

Do this over and over, and each time your t-shirt is more and more yellow after it dries.
Then one day it reaches a threshold and even putting it in the sun doesn’t draw out its color. It is YELLOW!

In the same way, one day you reach a threshold and you say, “That’s it, no more!” And your decision is made. Even though it looks like it happened in the moment, it was growing over time through an accumulation of life experience in the abusive relationship.

Trust your answer will come, and know it is within! And once it comes, it will be as bright and clear as YELLOW.

When your decision speaks to you from this kind of clarity, you will be mobilized with the readiness necessary to meet the challenges that come with your decision. So rather than stew in the indecisiveness, go deeper within where the accumulation of life experience will show itself in all its clarity.