Is Fear Managing Your Life?

Fear can be a wonderful asset in our lives--protecting us from dangerous situations and keeping us safe. But fear can also limit our lives significantly. While it may not be conscious, fear may make us think we are unacceptable or that what we have to offer isn't valuable. Fear may make us feel that we are not safe being ourselves.

In order to avoid feeling fear, we may limit our lives drastically, living in tiny little boxes. Living this way gives us the illusion of safety, but leaves us with an unfulfilling life that is void of passion . If we do decide to venture beyond our box and fear surfaces, a common reaction is to be everywhere but the present moment. Our minds race into the past or the future, cataloguing every past and possible disaster, and we frequently stop ourselves in our tracks.

If we shine a light on many of our fears, we see they have a very limited view of what is "safe" and how to "protect" us. Many of our fears are concerned only with protecting us from humiliation and failure. While these fears are doing their jobs incredibly well, they are doing so with faulty and outdated programming. Many fears we have as adults are trying to protect us as they protected us when we were children. Indeed, many of our current, automatic reactions to fear were actually formed when we were children. We have grown leaps and bounds since that time--but our fears didn't get that memo!

In many cases, fear is now simply a flag to us that we are entering new, unknown territory--territory that may in fact offer us many opportunities for creativity, personal growth , and joy. We may simply be doing something we haven't done before, and we're not sure what the results will be. Even so, it's important not to judge ourselves for feeling these types of fears. If we judge ourselves, we will bury our fears or disguise them. By denying our fears, however, we also deny our energy, creativity, and passion .

So what do we do with obsolete fear that doesn't know it is obsolete? We recognize the fear for what it is--a feeling we've experienced many times in the past and a feeling we will experience many times in the future. We become very familiar with our own particular brand of fears and how we allow them to control our lives. It is especially beneficial for each of us to become aware of the particular behavior patterns we've adopted when we feel fear, so we can look at our reactions with a sense of humor and compassion. Then, if we wish, we can choose a different response, which can be a scary yet very exhilarating experience.

We will never be happy to feel fear--it is fear after all. But fear is one of many signals that can help us on our path, when we do not allow it to manage our path. Where is fear managing your life today? Here are some questions to help you shine light on your fears. With each new awareness, comes new power.

-- What fear frequently reoccurs in your life?
-- How is this fear holding you back in your life right now? (The more specific you are, the more helpful it will be.)-- If you don't let this fear stop you this time, how will you benefit?
-- Will you manage your life today, or will fear? (Hint: Choose you!)