Falling Off The Horse

Years ago I went horse back riding with a friend. I had never been horse back riding. I was nervous, but I seemed to be doing okay. Suddenly, my friend’s horse took off running and so mine followed. I was scared to death . All I could think was, “Get me off this horse!” I got my wish. I fell off the horse, and found myself on my back with the wind knocked out of me. I was sore for a few days.

At first I blamed the horse. I realized, then, that he was just being a horse. Next I blamed my friend for not having her horse under control. Then I realized that the horse didn’t throw me off its back. My fear threw me off the horse’s back. I was scared and I just wanted out. Like most people in fear, I had forgotten what I wanted. Fear is just a feeling, and I let it drive my decision making.

When I first climbed on that horse I wanted adventure, something new, something fun. As soon as the horse delivered I wanted out. Usually it is the anticipation of something painfulthat is more fearful than the thing itself. I couldn’t stand anticipating falling so I went ahead and fell.

What if I had given myself a different message, like, “Hold on!” What if I had remembered why Iclimbed on that horse in the first place? Had I made the decision to hold on both to the horse and to my vision, I could have had the ride of my life.

Every day we get on a horse. When that horse takes off running we have a decision to make. We may begin a new job, a marriage , a relationship, or a new project. At some point our fears may kick in and we will start blaming and avoiding direct, honest communication. We can be led by our fears, immersing ourselves in drama and blaming, or we can decide for what we really want and take action toward it.

The next time you feel fearful in any situation or relationship, remember me on that horse. The voice in your head may be saying to bail out, avoid the situation, or blame others. Stop for a moment and ask: “What do I really want? A solution to the problem? An honest relationship? Clear communication?” See yourself having it and act on it. Have a conversation. Take the action you have feared taking. Ride that horse! The ride of your life is waiting for you. The question is: Will you choose to take it?