Avoid Slipping into the Negativity of Others (Excerpt from Your Destiny Switch)

Not long ago I happened to meet a lovely woman who, like me, was selling her house. We started to have a nice chat, and she told me that she was selling the place because she was getting divorced. It was her second marriage, and naturally she was feeling deeply sad about the breakup. She went on to explain that her second husband and her three sons from her first marriage were having great difficulty getting along, and she’d had to make a choice. She had such sincerity, and I could tell that her heart was aching. Her eyes filled with tears and she started to cry. My eyes welled up, too, and I almost began crying. In that moment, I had to manage my emotions and move to a state of compassion and increase my happiness , knowing that in doing so, I’d help her raise her own level of joy.

She wiped away her tears, and I reminded her of the great things she had in her life, such as her beautiful little boys and her close relationship with them, since they were able to share with her how they truly felt. I told her that after my divorce I’d realized that I was lucky to have had the experience of having my husband in my life, even if it was for a short period, because it gave me the opportunity to cherish and remember the good times. I encouraged her to believe that a new
world of possibilities awaits her as she enters this new stage of her life.

She started to look up—literally gazing upward as she began to connect with her own faith and optimism—and I could see a smile begin to appear on her face. I was glad that I’d chosen not to be pulled into her sadness. I could still feel a sense of harmony and connection to her and experience sympathy, but rather than commiserate, I’d opted to lift her up . . . and raised myself up in the process.

Sometimes people won’t respond to your efforts to help them switch into a more positive emotional state. In such a case, it’s okay to simply let them be alone with their feelings until they’re ready to make a switch.

Several years ago, I was planning on meeting my friend Patricia at a restaurant and going to a concert at the stadium afterward. I was feeling fantastic and on top of the world, and I was very excited about the performance. Patricia showed up at the restaurant and she was in a foul mood. Normally, she’s a happy and fun lady, but not this evening—it was probably the worst mood I’ve ever seen her in.

As soon as we started talking, it was blatantly clear that we weren’t vibrating at the same energy level. I knew that I wanted to do whatever I could to help switch Patricia’s emotional energy, but no matter what I said or tried to do to uplift her; she was staying firmly grounded in her negativity.

I don’t think that she was consciously trying to get me to adopt her dark mood, but that’s what subconsciously happens when we get into those disempowering states, because we want companionship (remember, “Misery loves company”). However, just as much as Patricia was determined not to join me in my positive state, I was equally determined not to join her in her negative one. So we had dinner, working our way through conversations that were like a Ping-Pong match: Negative energy would fly across the table, and positive energy would be sent back in the other direction, then the ball would return infused with negative energy, and so on.

When we arrived at the concert, where we had tickets for seats in a box with a dozen other people, Patricia managed to find a chair in a corner and sit down until it began. She now had an “I want to be alone” look about her. I knew that she just needed to be by herself and work through her own emotions, and knowing her well, I had faith that she would do just that. Once the concert began, everyone was on their feet dancing, including Patricia, and it turned out to be a fabulous
evening after all.

One of the challenges to staying in a positive state is being around negative people. The individual who has the strongest emotional level will tend to pull the other person into his or her own emotional state, unless that other person makes a choice not to be impacted by it and strongly resists.

Excerpt from YOUR DESTINY SWITCH :  Master Your Key Emotions, and Attract the Life of Your Dreams by Peggy McColl, Foreword by Neale Donald Walsch