Alcohol and Sex for Young Adults

For lots of student, sex is part of the college experience. For better or worse, decisions about sex (whether or not to do it, with whom, and when) are thought about and talked about a lot.

"I didn't plan on sleeping with anyone when I went to that party. This morning I woke and there was a man in my bed. I guess I must have had more than a couple of beers last night."
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"When that beautiful woman smiled at me I was so pleased. It was fun that night, the drinks and the music were great and I guess everything must have felt right. I went home with her. In the morning, her attitude was really different. I felt angry with both of us."
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Sobering Facts

50% or more of all rapes are alcohol related
67% of women were intoxicated when an unplanned pregnancy occurred.
72% of all offenders in assault cases had been using alcohol.

During college you might find yourself in a variety of sexual situations--some positive and some negative. Sex resulting in positive feelings, and free of doubt, regret, physical or emotional damage is what we all strive for. Your chances of achieving this are heightened if you avoid letting alcohol (or other drugs) be your guide. Some partners you may have known for years, others for hours. But when it comes to sex under the influence, the potential risks put everyone on common ground.

Doesn't it seem like alcohol or drugs make things easier? After drinking it becomes easier to dance, to introduce yourself to people you don't know, to talk and laugh. Inhibitions break down and magically everyone seems more available. Alcohol helps you forget about what makes you nervous. It makes everything seem OK. Sometimes alcohol or drugs seem like a good shortcut because they provide a false sense of comfort.

The problem with the use of alcohol or drugs - especially too much alcohol - as a substitute for real comfort is that you put yourself at risk physically and emotionally. When you drink to make things easier, things usually get more difficult. Maybe not at that moment, but often afterwards.

With alcohol in your system, the power to make smart decisions plummets. Your brain is sleeping, but your hormones are jumping!! When you drink you think in the short-term. The truth is that even encounters which seem "casual" can have long-term considerations. You probably don't give these a lot of thought on the way to bed, unfortunately. Alcohol can bring on a state of loss of self-awareness, including awareness of your beliefs, attitudes, and self-standards.

Sometimes the worst decisions are made because you feel pressure from friends to be sexually active. You may even be pressuring yourself because you think that is what everyone else is doing. That's often when you make the mistake of turning to alcohol or drugs to dull your own sense of judgement or reluctance. You get drunk or high, and find yourself being sexual with someone you normally wouldn't. It sounds simple, but there's a mess to worry about later. So you're back where you started from….unsatisfied.

What does this all mean???

You may think that you are doomed to suffer major consequences if you have a drink. That is NOT what this means. The point is that the issue of alcohol or drug use and decisions about sex are important to your mental and physical health.

• CHOSE CAREFULLY. Don't leave the choice of a sexual partner to chance. Try not to get yourself into situations where you might be at risk. Realize your motives for drinking or using drugs. Be especially careful when you are frustrated, depressed, or angry.

• BE WILLING TO EVALUATE YOURSELF. One of the keys to promoting your best interests is to do an on-going evaluation of yourself.
Are you making good choices?Are you having fun?
Are you getting positive results?

• IF YOU FIND THAT AT TIMES YOU ARE AT RISK, WORK ON CHANGING YOUR BEHAVIOR. Perhaps talk this over with a good friend or someone you trust.

• SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO ASK FOR MORE HELP. If the above don't work perhaps you have established habits that need a little extra help to break. Go to a trusted faculty member, counselor, or see someone in Psychological Services. Your sex life should be a positive part of your total life as an adult and a college student.