Unhappy Marriage: What To Do In An Unhappy Marriage

Unhappy Marriage: What To Do In An Unhappy Marriage

A sad statistic today is that many couples find themselves living in an unhappy marriage. Advice is everywhere when it comes to dealing with this situation and the bulk of it says that divorce is the best option. If you still love your spouse and keeping your family together is your goal, there is help for you. A person who is living in a relationship that is slowing falling apart can repair it. There are steps you can start taking today to rebuild your marriage and make it stronger than it ever has been before.

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One bit of unhappy marriage advice that you typically don't hear is to accept that the marriage isn't the same as it used to be. If your spouse has been pulling away physically and emotionally from you, it can feel overwhelming. If you still love them and you suspect that they have fallen out of love with you, it leaves you feeling very alone and confused. They may suggest the idea of a trial separation and this may cause you to jump to the conclusion that a divorce is inevitable. It doesn't have to be. Although you may have the urge to fight them tooth and nail on the issue of a separation, you shouldn't. Agree to it. Many couples actually find they miss each other so much during a separation that they fall back in love. Give your spouse the room they need, right now. If you do, it will show them that you respect them and that you want to put their needs before your own. This goes a long way towards repairing the relationship.

As hard as it may be, try not to dwell on the marriage problems. No one wants to be around someone who is constantly upset. Focusing more on yourself than the fact that your spouse and you aren't as closely connected anymore can actually help your relationship. Your spouse wants to be married to a happy, fun loving, dynamic and complex person. If you concentrate all your time, effort and energy into the marriage, you no longer are as interesting as you once were. Find your own passions again and show your spouse that you are still the vibrant person they married. Doing this can make them fall in love with you all over again.

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Are you living an unhappy marriage? If you think you are not as happy in your relationship as you should be, you are not alone. Surveys carried out have shown that not everybody is happy in their marriages but that is also a very subjective issue because it really depends on how you measure happiness.

Definitely you cannot compare the time after now with the period when you were still newly weds. During your courtship and honeymoon periods, your relationship is bound to be full of romantic activities and your spouse is likely to take time to give you lots of surprises. However, as time evolves, you will both be very involved with building your own careers so you have less time to plan for a romantic evening or for surprises.

Thus, it does not mean that since you are in an unhappy marriage now, your relationship is destined to fail. As long as you still love your marriage or have other reasons for not wanting your relationship to end, you can always save your marriage. In fact, for many couples who have been married for a long time, they find that it gets even harder to be romantically involved with each other as most of the time, you are more concerned with your kids and paying the bills. If that is the case, how do you rekindle the old flame in your relationship then? Below are 5 tips to help you bring back the love.

1. Reminisce the past together

Remember the good old courtship days when both of you were so in love with each other? Whatever has happened to the love between you? Now is the time to reflect on the joyous old days together. You can revisit the places you used to go together, play your old time favorite songs or even go on a getaway to a romantic island. Just remember to go on your own; without any other friends or kids. Do this frequently and you will find that both of you will feel more love towards each other.

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2. Giving small gifts

This might not be a new idea but it is definitely one that works well. You do not have to buy a very expensive gift because the intention is to show that you care and that you want to thank your spouse for being there for you so a small gift occasionally to surprise your spouse will do wonders to your relationship. You can even add short love notes to these little gifts and place them in places where your partner is able to find on their own. That will make it more romantic and fun.

3. Love notes

This can tie in with the above tip or you can simply use it on its own. Instead of giving a little gift every time, you can also leave a short love note around for your spouse to find. Place such as on the bathroom mirror, on the door of the refrigerator, in the car or on the computer screen will be great for a start.

4. Surprise meals together

For this tip, you will have to be careful not to catch your spouse in a busy period. You can plan for a relaxing picnic together without letting your spouse know about it in advance. Just appear with a picnic basket and set off to the park for a romantic and quiet meal together. The important thing is to spend time enjoying each other's company in a relaxed mood.

5. Evening walks in the park

When was the last time you took an evening stroll in your nearby park or even in your own garden with your spouse? It is vital that you spend time alone with each other, just holding hands and strolling along. This will help to bring back the old flame and love you have been feeling for each other.

If you want to get out of your unhappy marriage and improve your relationship, you have to give these tips a try. Without taking actions, you will not be able to achieve anything, so just start off with a light kiss when you greet your spouse in the morning. That will be a good start to a better relationship.

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If you still love your spouse and want to get back together, is it possible? Right now, you must be hurting badly because breaking up is indeed a difficult thing to go through. However, if you want to stop marriage from divorce, you will have to be persistent.

A very important point to keep in mind is that you must not do the wrong things so that you do not jeopardize your chances of getting back together. Follow these 3 vital tips and you will have a higher chance of getting back with your ex.

1. Give your spouse some breathing spaceRegardless of how much you want to tell your spouse that they should treasure the wonderful relationship in hand, you will still have to keep your cool and your distance. Give your spouse some breathing space.

The greatest mistake many couples make when they break up is to be constantly bothering their ex. That will only make their ex feel more agitated and their desire to leave will be even greater. When they are away from you and don't get to see you as often as they used to, they will soon start to miss you more and in that way, you are giving yourself more chances to get back together with your partner.

2. Focus on yourselfYes, now is the best time to think about yourself. There is nothing you can do by thinking about your spouse so you might as well think about how you can improve your own image as well as your own inner traits. Consider what might have caused the break up and find solutions to fix them.

However, do not have the misconception that you are making changes for your ex because you are fixing your faults so that you can be a better person. It does not mean that by fixing your faults you will definitely get a better chance of getting back together but it does mean that you are paving the way for a better future relationship.

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3. Have a heart-to-heart talkTalking to each other is something both of you need to do but not right away. You might be dying to talk to your spouse right now but you have to refrain from doing so until both of you have taken some time off to cool down first. If you are not already settled down, chances are you will both end up screaming and making accusations at each other and that is not going to help your relationship at all.

Once you have allowed each other some cooling time and you both feel that it is time to talk, you will have a higher chance of getting an honest answer from your partner. You will want to find out what had really gone wrong and also decide what to do next. This is not the time to be pointing fingers at each other but rather, it is a time to understand each other's point of view and to decide what the next step should be. In fact, this is the best way to build a really steady and strong relationship.

It is not the end of the world if your spouse had decided to call for a separation. You can still try to get back together with your spouse if you still love him or her. Nobody says that it is going to be easy but if you are persistent and you apply the above 3 tips, you can still stop marriage from divorce and build a stronger relationship.

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Many couples were not prepared for the changes that would occur after marriage as everything seems so blissful and romantic during the courtship period. When you are living with your spouse, you start to discover a lot of habits that you might not be able to accept and the end result, you start to drift further and further apart. Is there anywhere you can stop divorce and save a failing marriage? Of course!

First off, ask yourself if you still love your partner? Remember the good old days when you were so in love with each other? However, when you stare at your husband or wife, you sometimes cannot help but wonder is that the person you had married? He was so much more loving towards back then or she was not as nagging as now!

The fact is, your spouse is still the same old person you had loved at the beginning but both of you could have been so caught up with building your career or with tending to your children that you have forgotten to show your love to each other again after marriage. With some efforts from both of you, your marriage could be as loving as during the honeymoon period. The first thing you to do right away to save your marriage is to stop talking about the big 'D' word. Give yourselves a chance at rekindling that old flame first.

Besides the painful emotions that you, and your children, have to go through, there are also huge expenses involved. As such, there are really no benefits to getting a divorce so you might as well exhaust all other means first! Focus all your energy to saving your marriage, think positive and you will see the results that you want. Here are some tips to help you save your relationship:

1. Communication is the key

I am sure you have heard more than once that in order to maintain a happy marriage, the most important thing you must do is to communicate. This is indeed the golden key, so start talking to each other. When was the last time both of you had a heart-to-heart talk with each other? You have to discuss the problems that you might be facing in your relationship. Now is the time to be open and honest with each other if you want a solution to your marriage problems.

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2. Learn to compromise

However, this does not mean that you have to give in to every whim and wants your spouse wants. Learn to compromise, that is the best way to build a happy relationship because in this way, nobody will feel victimized. Give each other a chance to talk about the things both of you could do to improve the marriage write them down on list so that you can get on to implementing them later on. But don't just talk about the negative things; you should also mention the things your spouse had done which made you smile.

3. Take initiative to give surprises

Although you have written down a list of things that both of you should do to improve the relationship, do not let that list restrict you. Think of creative ways to make your partner feel loved, just like during the courtship days. For instance, you could send your husband or wife a short hand phone text message to tell them you love them or leave love notes for your spouse all around the house. There is no need to be serious all the time in a marriage, adding some humor will spice up your lives!

4. Get intimate

Are you spending enough time alone, without the kids? For a married couple to remain close to each other, they need to have ample time to get close. Schedule a "couples time" regularly so that you have time to catch up with each other. Spend time touching and kissing each other. Don't forget to show your concern and really listen to what is going on in your spouse's life. It will help to improve your marriage because lovers should be best friends too!

The above 4 tips are not difficult to implement right away in your life and if you are serious about wanting to stop divorce and save a failing marriage, then you have to take action immediately! Remember, do it before it is too late!

Saying or doing the wrong thing can actually cause your spouse to feel even more distant from you. You can make your spouse fall back in love with you , all over again.

You don't have to worry about whether your spouse is on the brink of asking you for a divorce. You can control the situation and use specific techniques to naturally make them fall hopelessly in love with you.