The Second Worst Question Ever

Old personal development stalwart Tony Robbins is fond of saying, 'the quality of your outcomes is determined by the quality of your questions'. Absolutely!

The brain works likes a computer - ask a question and it will spit out an answer - true/false, good/bad.

The trick is to ask questions that make you feel good, powerful, enthusiastic, and focused.

So have a look at this little beauty: "What would you do if you knew you could not fail?"

Seems like a good question, right? Gets you thinking about all the possibilities and permutations of your life and its experiences, encourages grandiose visions and so on.

But here's the thing. The tail of the question with the bit about 'failing' has a real sting in it. How do you get to the part where you actually believe you cannot fail? It's one thing to imagine possibilities; it's quite another to believe they are going to happen - no matter what.

Truth to be told, you don't really want to know that you will succeed. You don't want to know who will win the Grand Final ahead of time. Sure you want your team to win, but you don't want it to be a given. What's the fun in that? You want the game to be close, a huge contest where the commitment, passion, and determination is etched in every face, in every minute. You don't want them to walk on the field, kick a few goals, and walk off again.

You want the tension. You want the suspense. You want the triumph of effort!

So if you're wondering, 'how do I get to the point of knowing I will not fail in my business (or other goal)?' here's a few pointers for you:

1. You don't want to know you will not fail. That's half the fun! Business, life, goals - they're all part of a huge human game where you get to play full out. The end result is never guaranteed, and you don't want it to be!

2. What you DO want to know is:

How do I play flat out and be happy with any outcome - pleased just to be able to play the game?

Appreciate the unknown and everything you are learning in the process.

How do I keep score without getting obsessed with milestones?

Focus on outputs AND outcomes, celebrate process AND results.

How do I keep inspired and focused when the chips are down and it looks like the game might be over?

Give up caring about other people's opinions, focus on your vision, and remain open to other paths.

How do I remain committed but not attached to my goals?

Redefine success, and take a break and do something else, completely different, just for fun.

3. The single worst question ever is.... 'why me?'

When you're miserable and you ask this question, you are guaranteed to get answers that make you feel worse.

Much better to ask instead: "What can I learn from this? What's good about this? What can I apppreciate about this?"

You are only allowed to ask, 'why me?' when something terrific fills you with joy. Your brain will answer with all the answers on how to maintain fabulous joyful momentum. And the more you ask 'why me' when you feel good, the more you'll attract feel-good experiences. Try it!

To your success.