The Path to Happiness

My clients frequently ask me how they can find happiness. While there are many elements that create happiness, I've noticed that a basic characteristic of people who are happy is healthy self-awareness.

Self-awareness refers to a deep understanding of who we are and what makes us tick. It is the ability to objectively examine our strengths and the areas that need improvement and work on moving our lives in any direction we choose. Self-awareness impacts how we treat ourselves and others and what kind of life we live. Let me give you a couple real-life examples of people pursuing happiness. See if you know anyone like them. I've changed their names and identifying information to ensure confidentiality.

Bob is a happy-go-lucky individual who always tries to have a good time. He enjoys his family, friendships and his active life. He says he's a confident person who sees himself as an optimist. His friends and family say he's a great guy. He lives a life that appears amazing to everyone on the outside but he secretly feels deeply unhappy. He has recurring and persistent negative thoughts from when he was growing up that continue to haunt him to this day. He says that he puts up a good front but he feels like a mess inside. He doesn't know how to change his situation so he fills his life with people and activities so he won't have to address the difficult stuff.

Bob wants to do something to feel happier but doesn't know where to start. What Bob doesn't realize is that there is a way he can find real happiness: through self-awareness.

Let's look at a situation that illustrates a different experience. Jim had issues that hurt him deeply and tormented him over the years but he arrived at a different destination because he followed another path. He worked very hard to acknowledge his past and created a plan to move beyond the hurt. He decided that he would honestly and openly discuss the tough issues in his life with a professional and that he would eventually move past those negative thoughts. He committed to focusing on his strengths and concentrate on the things that brought him joy in life. He resolved to talk openly to his family and pursue a career he loved. Through his dedicated work, Jim grew to feel genuinely happy because he overcame the challenges that formerly held him back. During the process, he enjoyed getting to know himself and came out stronger and wiser than when he began his journey.

There is a pervasive and debilitating myth that we should ignore the difficult stuff in our past at all costs. This has a dramatic limiting effect on our success in life but, thankfully, we don't have to live this way. We now understand that people can move their lives in any direction they choose to. All it takes is acknowledging the things that hurt us earlier in life and then developing a plan to move forward.

When we face our greatest challenges head-on we train ourselves to become stronger and more positive. With each trauma that we work through we gain more strength and courage. The more we practice the better we become at surmounting any obstacle that comes our way. We gain confidence and ability as we go on and the things we thought were so scary lose their power over us.

If we truly get to know ourselves we wake up one day living the life we dreamed of. Each of us knows deep inside whether we are happy or not. We have an inner barometer that informs us whether we are truly fulfilled. To increase our happiness we need only pay attention to our inner voice and move in the direction of our dreams. When we heed that voice, we liberate ourselves to live a life of joy.

You are the only person in the world who knows what really makes you happy. Take some time soon to make sure it happens.