Let’s Talk the Talk

Americans were crying out for change in 2008 when President Obama’s campaign was offering precisely that. For the first time in history a presidential campaign relied heavily on social media where the words of change were taken down to the people on the street, who accessed it with relish.

Citizens understood what was on offer. They got excited and were enthusiastic about becoming part of the vehicle that mobilized or at least promised this change.

Today more and more of us are venturing into that space with the hope of getting our numerous messages out to the world. It is the difference that makes the difference as we attempt to open and expand our minds and the minds of others. What are we really doing this for? What is the ultimate goal?

To me there is money on the table that could be added to our bottom line results. Profits and revenues that could be higher if only we could make that change in aggregate to impact “the field of consciousness” The more people in a related field do something consistent the stronger their results but best of all, this is sustainable.

Virginia Satir in the preface of “The Structure of Magic” described Grinder and Bandler’s success in watching the process of change over time and distilling patterns of the “how” process. This landmark book about language and therapy was published in 1975. It described “the predictable elements in a transaction between two people that make change happen”

Fast forwarding to November 2002 when I had spent an entire year studying Neuro Linguistic Programming and getting certified in it. It was the last course that I had signed up for, after at least eight others that I had done from January of that year. Fatigued and uninterested to even attend, my intuition screamed “go go you have to go”

And so I rocked up to the event only to meet Thomas Leonard, hailed as the grandfather of coaching then. He commanded the stage with his presence, which emanated across to the 500-strong audience. This man had something I aspired to be.

He spoke of coaching as the next big wave to hit the corporate world. He warned that coaching would take a very different pace and style. In fact we would not be able to recognize it in the following ten years.

Thomas was right. Today the formality of coaching has waned. We coach in so many different ways informally at coffee shops and virtually on Skype from wherever we are. Starbucks is a winner as it offers a very casual ambience that is sought by clients today. From a business, sports, family and relationships angle we coach to create effective people.

By changing mindsets people are able to see, hear and feel with clarity and more importantly their repertoire of skills improve. Clients find they are able to do more in their roles at work and at home.

This is what organisations need to be focused on. Bringing people to the core of their identity, allowing them to utilize their strengths, so they enjoy what they do and hence produce outstanding results.

In my experience on line coaching is limited when behavior coaching is needed. A client who wanted to quit smoking once needed so many deep, hypnotic interventions that it was far more value to have him physically there with me.

It gives me as the coach, the ability to pick up non-verbal cues from the client that helps me get into rapport with them. As I talk the talk listening for words that they are using, I am able to deepen that rapport. My ultimate goal is to understand their world and help them expand their boundaries to get rid of the negativity in their past.

I know of someone in particular who is constantly getting herself into trouble. Is it others or is she the common denominator? A case of very narrow and limited boundaries that prevent her from seeing beyond to the context of the situation she is in.

Coaching in this context would help her see how she processes her thoughts in exactly the same way every single time. This eventually creates a pattern at the level of her unconscious mind.

Is she able to step out of the context and see her pattern? If she could that would be a prime place to start coaching.