Bill is gone? I thought to myself. I shouldn't be surprised. He was great at putting a project scope together. He had the most elegant project charts in the company. He was even a good guy… once you got to know him.
I later learned that Bill was fired from Siemens because he was not a "people person," meaning he had low emotional intelligence. How is yours?
Emotional intelligence (EI) is "the ability to carry out accurate reasoning about emotions and the ability to use the emotions and emotional knowledge to enhance thought.” (1) In a review of EI research, Professor John Mayer from the University of New Hampshire reported that high EI scores predict better social relations, decision-making at work, negotiation results, and long-term leadership success. (1) Their findings are consistent with the large body of work conducted by other investigators telling us that EI is critical to leadership success. (2) There are four major EI skills as reported by Professor Mayer. They include:
In this article, I’d like to help you improve the first EI skill in which Bill was probably deficient - perceiving the emotions.
Perceiving the emotions refers to the ability to identify accurately what you and those around you are feeling. Without a strong understanding of emotions, the rest of the other three EI skills would be weak. It's the old garbage in, garbage out. Perceiving the emotions is more than just awareness, it's accurate awareness. Leaders who are highly skilled in this area have the ability to read people, label feelings appropriately, and express the correct emotional signals. Bill was highly wanting here. I remember sitting in meetings with him and not having a clue what he was feeling. It's as if he wore a poker face all day.
Becoming more aware of your own emotions begins with a quick assessment. Please answer the questions below by giving a score of 1 (strongly disagree), 2 (disagree), 3 (agree), or 4 (strongly agree)*:
Adapted from ‘The Emotionally Intelligent Manager,’ page 84* (3)
So, how did you do? If your total score is less than 16, you might want to use the following tools to increase your awareness of emotions:
I wish I could have helped Bill. But at least I hope I'm helping you. Let me know how it goes.
Keep on stretching when you're pulled,Dave
Dave Jensen is an executive coach and leadership expert who helps leaders achieve
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