Self-Care is NOT a Bad Word

As women, we’ve been conditioned to take care of everybody else. We feel it’s expected of us and there’s a lot of guilt involved in this. It almost seems sacrilegious to think “What about me?” Then there’s even more guilt! Guilt seems to be the underlying emotion relating to all of this. This month, I want us to take a look at that guilt and be able to move past it so that we can allow ourselves to be healthier and that, in turn, will lead to healthier families.

Guilt causes you to ignore your desire for “more” – “I should be content with the way my life is.” Contentment and a desire for more can be good or bad depending on where it comes from. If your desire is just for worldly things, that can lead you toward poor decisions that will ultimately be selfish in nature and cause harm. But when desire comes from your soul, it’s different. All of us are here at this unique time in history to make a difference in this world. When you’re not in alignment with that mission, you’ll feel a yearning and deep desire. That desire is meant to get you back on track with God’s desire for your life. That type of desire is to serve a greater good, not just quench a selfish thirst.

Guilt keeps you from verbalizing your personal needs – “I might make someone mad, if I tell them what I need.” My reaction to that is, “And?” The key in that sentence is that it is a need, not just a want. If it truly is something you need, then it needs to happen. For example, I’m an introvert so I need quiet, alone time to recharge. It’s not that I just want a break from people. No! If I don’t get that need met, I become irritable, withdrawn, tired, and just plain not fun to be around! How is that helping anyone for me to be like that? Does it make more sense for me to take a few to recharge by myself, or stay around everyone feeling miserable and make them miserable in the process?

Guilt prevents us from truly engaging – If you repeatedly refuse to take care of yourself, this leads to bitterness. You were created with needs. They must be taken care of. My need for alone, quiet time is just as important as food and water. Without it, I can’t function. If I just ignored that and never took time for myself, I would become bitter toward those that are in my life. That bitterness, mixed with guilt over how angry I am, would then cloud my judgment and all interactions with them. I would not be true to who I really am because I wouldn’t feel safe enough to. So my relationships would become false rather than truly engaged.

Accept that taking care of you is important! Give yourself permission and understand that you’re not being a bad mom or bad wife by needing to do it! What “it” is will be different for all of us. But before you can even begin doing “it”, you’ve got to get past that mindset that it’s wrong to need something for yourself. Self-care – it’s not a bad word – it’s a need. So how do you deal with the guilt? Share your best practices below…