The "Heart Magic Skills" To A Lasting Love
The "Heart Magic Skills" To A Lasting Love
There are three basic things we are not taught to do well in life:
1. How to get along with the person we hope to live with the rest of our lives.
2. How to raise healthy, creative, children who have self-respect and respect others.
3. How to deal with stress and anger.
These three things make up the civil in a “civilization” which describe individuals considered to have reached a high social development. My book, "Heart Magic, Keeping Love Alive and Well," has helped countless individuals and couples achieve success in those important areas.
When I started in private practice as a Marriage, Family, Child Therapist over two decades ago, I specialized in the work with children but did so realizing that it was the “family” that presented the environment where wellness or illness existed. Therefore, more and more I turned my attention to the family and very quickly saw how much help couples or parents needed in the areas of communication and conflict resolution. So for most of my 25 years in the mental health field, my focus has been to assist people in gaining skills to succeed in the greatest of all arts, “the art of relating!”
What has been the barrier to our success? It is actually a long held erroneous belief that to “live happily ever after” all we need is love to get along. However, the disastrous divorce rate in our country tells a different story! It says that just as we get training to drive a car, learn a trade, or prepare for any important endeavor in our lives, we must learn healthy relationship habits to be good partners. Those “lucky in love” who sustain their marriages do so because they know how to get along with the person they hope to live with the rest of their lives.
More than two decades of research in the field of relationship studies has shown me that family members build trust, get along better, and experience a loving, harmonious life by following the “Eight Select Principles” and simple, “Dos and Don’t of Relating” found in my book, "Heart Magic". For example, an underlying fact in relating is that everyone has a piece of the truth and each side has a need. When there is a conflict between two people, if they do not understand this fact, they may not resolve their differences in a fair and respectful manner. Therefore, acknowledging each person’s truth, exploring each side’s need then finding a solution, which is fair to both sides, builds a truly intimate relationship. The home becomes a place where there is harmony because conflicts are resolved, trust is built and love endures. What better inheritance can parents give children?
If we truly want a peaceful world, it begins with the individual and the family unit, which is a cell of the collective world family. True peacemakers live that ideal. How can we expect nations to get along, if two people who love each other cannot?
The good news is that everyone can learn to improve their relationship skills no matter what age or stage of partnership they are in. It takes devotion to your dream and a sincere desire to be happy. But it becomes a reality by learning a few simple habits of relating and applying them under your own roof! We see this lived out in the life of partners who know they may face many challenges together but who have learned to practice loving habits that make any challenge easier to face. This is how the life of peace is truly made a reality.
© Maria J. Andrade 2000
"Heart Magic, Keeping Love Alive & Well"
"Magia del Corazon" – Spanish edition
Write to Maria at www.magicunion.com
Maria J. Andrade was born in the middle of the earth, in Ecuador, South America and grew up on both coasts of the United States. She has been diving into the soul for over two decades as a licensed bilingual therapist. She has been writing poetry and do readings for over 30 years. Poems from her book, "Singing My Self Home," have appeared on the bilingual newspaper, “La Oferta Review,” on Poets Against The War website, KPFK radio and “Snakeskin” webzine.
She also writes books for children and adults on the themes of love, relationship, and earth stewardship. "Heart Magic, Keeping Love Alive & Well" has been translated into Spanish and offers communication, problem resolution, stress and anger management skills to individuals and couples.
Her eco-social book for kids, "Youngen Finds Her Song," is being used in schools throughout the US and Canada to inspire children in such areas as: confidence, friendship and respect for all life.
Maria is a social activist who has worked for homeless, prison reform and
peace. For 25 years she served as Program Director for The Carl Jung Society in Claremont, CA.