Stop Being Single Now = Stop Being Stupid Now

In a time when President Bill Clinton, former Senator John Edwards, and countless other public and private individuals stray from their relationships, I wonder how many Singles truly want a sustainable and committed long-term relationship.

Relationship Expert, Dr. Darshana Hawks, asserts that we can be single in our committed relationships just as we were when we were single. Temptation exists in the world and we are thrown into the world daily. This all boils down to the choices we make and the consequences (good or bad) we have to live with.

The overriding cause of this ailment is incompletion with who we are, what we need, our inability to communicate openly about our needs, the feeling of something being missing, not thinking through the consequences of our impending choice(s), and our lack of capacity to grow with our relationship. When we are incomplete, we stray. When we are open and clear with ourselves and with those who love us and whom we love, connection and openness exists creating fertile ground for growth in ourselves and our relationship(s).

Infidelity is not unique to men. Hello… Women stray, too. I find it interesting that it does not seem as prominent for famous women to be hit by the publicity of infidelity but do for sexual harassment. Both sexes are accountable for teasing others to stray. It is a primal game of sorts where playing the field is an endorphin generating and adrenalin pumping drug without regard for the ramifications the action will cause.

So are we really talking about accountability in an age and country where the existence of personal accountability is in question; where our sins are forgiven, almost giving permission to sin (yep, I said it, someone has to), saying it is okay subconsciously because I will be and am forgiven?

So, what does all this have to do with being single? Singles are infidels to themselves every time they put themselves in the position of allowing another to cause them to feel less than whole, make exceptions to their boundaries for another person especially in sexual attraction, and who lie to themselves, then justifying the lie. For example: Singles practice infidelity every time they cross their ‘personal boundary rules’ of dating: if you have a boundary of not kissing until the 3rd date and then turn around and kiss on the 1st date, you are practicing infidelity to yourself.

Taking a long look at yourself, who you are, whether what you say and do are synchronous, who you spend time with, how you feel in the space of others, and whether you are able to openly communicate, even in the midst of an upset all leads to creating a grounded, loving, respectful, and collaborative relationship that grows as you grow and as life happens.

Who you are and the choices you make has 100% to do with who you attract in a committed relationship! So, do you have the courage to answer the questions: Who Am I? What choices am I making that are creating the results I am producing? Am I an infidel to myself in any area of my life, especially with my words and related actions?