***Financial Alchemy: Create a New Relationship with Money

Your current financial situation is a direct reflection of your inner relationship with Money. If you don’t like your finances, something needs to change in your relationship. This is where Alchemy comes in.

Alchemy is the art of transformation. With roots in ancient Egypt and classical Greece, Alchemy comes from a time when there was no distinction between science and magic. The mysteries of matter and consciousness were inextricably linked (as they are again, in today’s quantum physics). These ancient studies gave birth to modern medicine, psychology, chemistry, and even Sir Isaac Newton’s work on gravity.

The ultimate pursuit of Alchemy was the “Philosophers’ Stone,” a substance believed to turn worthless metals into gold. While Alchemists through the ages slaved in the laboratory, their metalwork concealed a spiritual process, a Philosophers’ Stone which had to be kept hidden from the Church: this was the process of inner transformation. Two principles are involved here: 1) turning lead into gold was an outer demonstration of inner transformation, and 2) the seed of the solution (the gold) was hidden in the problem (the lead).

I invite you to use this chapter to discover your own Philosophers’ Stone—your key to wealth and inner transformation—hidden in your relationship with Money.

Before we proceed, let’s review some guidelines I adapted from Alchemist tradition:

Rule #1: As it is above, so it is below.What shows up in your head is going to show up in your life. This chapter will be using fundamental Relationship Coaching skills to help you transform your relationship with money from a dead seed into a flowering garden. A seed comes to life as a living, thriving, fruit-flowering plant…in the right environment. So, too, your own prosperity. Your potential for financial abundance is there, waiting for the necessary environment within you. Your relationship with money is like the soil that feeds or starves your economic growth. As long as you have hidden beliefs that cause you to unconsciously repel money, perhaps “protect” yourself from wealth, your garden will not grow.

Rule #2: There is no scarcity.A wealthy client once explained to me how he had overcome poverty. “The amount of money out there in play every day is limitless, beyond our comprehension. Money is everywhere,“ he explained. And it’s available in proportion to “how big your funnel is to take it in”. He had learned to tap into the Source. This relationship supported him.

Rule #3: Consciousness gives you choice.I assert even a small change in your relationship consciousness can have a huge impact on your material life. You get what you choose, but first you need to know what you’re choosing.

How do I know this? I experienced this transformation myself.

My story:For years I was struggling as a life coach. I had trouble attracting clients who would pay the fee I wanted. I found myself avoiding discussions of money as long as I could. The whole subject embarrassed me, and my discomfort translated into making clients uncomfortable too. I was "doing" all the right marketing things--networking, newsletters, sample sessions--and getting nowhere. I was not making a “grown-up” living.

What was in my way, I wondered? My coach and I took a look at my relationship with Money. What were my stories about Money? What is this entity I'm in relationship with? What's going on with this relationship?

Two discoveries popped out: Money didn't feel safe or reliable, and Money caused separation. (My family would swing between being rich and poor over and over again, and Money was a "reason" for family members not to talk to each other for decades.) If my experience of Money were given personhood, he'd look like a tall, scary, dirty Biker who caused fights at parties. This is the kind of guy I’d be watching carefully, always making sure to keep a safe distance. No wonder I wasn't bringing Money into my life!

This was not the relationship with Money I wanted to have. (And it wasn't the relationship I wanted to model for my clients either.) So I created a new paradigm. I fired the Biker persona and put a tall, dark, handsome and romantic suitor in his place. He wore tails and carried a bouquet of red flowers. He wanted to woo me. Can you imagine what it would be like to be wooed by Money? I related to him in a whole new way. This was the guy I wanted to have a relationship with. He loved me. I would do anything to make him happy.

I asked my new Money what he wanted from me so he could stay with me.

Money responded, “Appreciate me. Love me. Stop treating me like a monster.”

I immediately saw how I had been treating him like a monster every time I hesitated to state my fee or didn’t demand payment. My behavior changed immediately. Over the next week four people called me out of the blue to hire me as their coach. I could feel my mouth wanting to move in the familiar patterns that would talk them out of the sale. I had to literally bite my tongue and shut up and let them hire me. You don’t say no to gifts from your beloved.

Whenever I received a check, signed a new client, came across some unexpected income, I graciously thanked Money for the gift. I wasn’t just thanking an abstract concept of abundance—I was thanking a person who was real to me. And this version of Money was valued and invited into my life.

From then on my business and income kept growing. Within six months I had accrued such a waiting list of clients that I had to add group coaching to my services. I didn’t have to look for my new clients; they were finding me. And all I had changed was my inner dialogue with money.

Now it’s your turn:If you want to improve your financial situation, you must first uncover the negative beliefs that shaped your relationship with Money. Get out some paper and respond to these questions. (Writing creates clarity and speeds your change.)

• What negative things have you heard about money?
• What are some of the negative ways money has shown up in your life and in the lives of those around you.• What beliefs get between you and prosperity?
• Dig deeper and deeper. You may hit several blank spots before you find the deepest beliefs that have truly driven your relationship with money.

Give Money personhood in relationship to you. If these darkest experiences of money were a person, what would your version of this Money "person" be like?

Make Money real. Who is this Money villain? Is it male or female? Tall or short? How is Money dressed? How do you feel about this Money?

How does Money feel about you?

Can you imagine that they way you relate to this Money villain could be impacting the way money is showing up in your life?

End that relationship, baby!

Create a new relationship with Money. What kind of Money person could you open your heart to? Is this a person who lights you up—who you’d want a relationship with even if he weren’t Money?

Negotiate with this new Money:What does your new Money want from you to make this relationship better? What action are you going to take to demonstrate to Money that you take his request seriously? Make this new relationship real.

Money is like any other relationship; it comes where it's invited and appreciated. It rarely comes when it is chased. It can be your partner if you listen to it. The more you care for this relationship, the more money you will attract. Here are three final tips:

1) Appreciate money! When a penny shows up on the sidewalk, thank Money for the gift. Don’t worry about denomination; appreciate everything. Think of how good you feel when you are valued for even a small gesture. It’s the same for Money. Every time you practice receiving and appreciating, you train the universe to send you more. Show the universe what you value.

2) By now your capacity to receive is growing. You’ll notice other stuff creeps in to limit the flow through your funnel to abundance. This stuff may look like clutter, broken appliances, old e-mails, toxic people, time wasters or other energy drains. Clean house! Make space for what you want by having the courage to release what you don’t want. You teach the universe how you want to be treated with every choice you make. And nothing gets the universe’s attention like saying “No.” It’s your quickest ticket to miracles.

3) The most important place to make space for what you want is in your head. Clean out fear and pessimism. Plant love and trust instead. Your thoughts are your seeds, and you can grow flowers or weeds. What do you choose to grow?

Copyright 2003 by Morgana Rae and Charmed Life Coaching.