Improving The Relationship Between Parents and Their Children

Parents influence their children in many ways, but none may be more significant than the quality of the relationship between parents and their children. The quality of the relationship between parents and their children exerts one of the strongest influences upon child behavior.
When parents and their children clash, their children cannot demonstrate their best behavior.
Any parent who wants help in dealing with a challenging child behavior problem will find at least some relief by focusing on improving this central aspect of parenting children of any age. As the relationship between parents and children improves, so will the children's behavior, moods and attitudes. To build the closest, most loving relationship possible with your child is to support your child's ability to demonstrate his best possible behavior.
When children and parents clash in contention, those children demonstrate problems getting along with others and experience more difficulty getting along in life. Whether parenting young children or teenaged children, to the extent that parents and their children lack a deeply loving connection with one another, those children inevitably display behavior problems.
A critical ability for creating a quality relationship between parents and children is reading children accurately.
You have to really know your child to know how to effectively support, nurture and encourage your child's best.
Disturbed emotional reactions prevent parents from really seeing their children. Parents cannot see their children for who their children really are, and so they cannot respond to their children in line with what their children really need, while those parents feel anger, impatience or anxiety. These turbulent emotional states cover the parent's perception like a thick fog that literally blinds the parent to the child's true heart. Additionally, children take their parents' disturbed emotional reactions personally, causing them to lose self-esteem and to begin distrusting and disrespecting the parent.
Unfortunately parents facing child behavior problems often resort to intensifying the harshness of their emotional reactions. This ends up worsening the quality of the relationship between those parents and their children, worsening their child's behavior.
Parents and their children clash when the parents focus so much on opposing their children's behavior that they overlook the ways they are damaging their relationship with their children.
One of the basic laws that parents of children of any age need to understand is this: the better you connect, the better you direct.
If you find yourself feeling dismayed over your child's behavior, focus on getting along better with your child. This does not mean overly indulging your child. It means remembering to relate with him or her in a more conscious, loving way. The more your child really enjoys being with you, the more you will enjoy your child's behavior.
Child discipline begins with adult self-discipline. Discipline yourself to be alert in the present moment to the quality of the feelings that you express toward your child. The relationship between parents and children flourishes when parents consistently express their feelings of love and appreciation for the child.
The more annoyance, impatience or resentment the child feels coming from the parent, the more disturbed, defiant and disrespectful that child will tend to be.
Even when parents need to establish boundaries and refuse to permit their children to do what they please, they can learn how to do that without anger and stress. It just takes commitment to practice doing your best at it.
As parents practice calm, conscious self-control and remain relentless in their efforts to build a strong, deep, steady bond of love which their children feel secure about, those parents help their children to consistently demonstrate their finest behavior.